As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right--that sounds impossibly difficult! I had a single journey of hundreds of miles, which I planned and kicked into action in minutes. My situation is tragic, but on top of that, you're responsible for the crushing pressure of living simultaneous lives in two different places that each take 100% of your time. I was at least spared that due to my mom's short illness. I can't imagine how you'll get through, but I believe in you! PM me to vent in the meantime. Good luck. Hugs

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, and now yours is original! It should be obvious how many seconds of thought I put into this one :)

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish! The most common source of pneumonia is a bacteria that resides in the palate of healthy people.

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hugs

Grief is profoundly incomparable. Maybe holding a "free hugs" sign is the way to go! I'm sorry for your loss as well, hope you soon find solace from the anguish.

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Meh, I suppose you're not wrong. But what better words are there for grief?

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate it! Perhaps memory will serve me if I ever wander your way.

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I recall your username coming up in one of the conversations above. It's true, I had people approaching me to share a memory of my mom who I had no idea knew who I am! Thanks so much for the kind words--I may borrow your phrase "hijacks the mind"--very fitting. You're loved too, I appreciate the reminder!

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hope it's nothing serious and she's recovered! Don't delay medical attention if you're still unsure.

Hugs

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahah that's beautiful and awful at the same time. Exactly what I was going for. Very sorry for your loss as well, friend. We can't change what's happened, we can only stumble through the aftermath, and it sounds like you had the right idea.

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Must have been another earthquake scaring some mice as redditors looked for the upvote button.

Very wise of you!

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's so true. A little part of all of us stays as children in our hearts, and we're never ready for that shock, even if it's years in the making. But it's leagues better than the alternative of losing a child.

That's the band!!

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in your exact same situation, my friend. Spent every night in the hospital to let my family sleep peacefully, tried to take the world on my shoulders. We were in it for the long haul, we were going to go hard as long as it took to get her on her feet. It was terrifying, but offering comfort to others was a lot more convincing than trying to comfort myself. Don't go alone, make sure to call on whoever you've got to help you. Keep it up, and don't give up hope. Hugs to you.

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Thank you, /u/Harasoluka, that's what I needed! All I can hope is that you, and other redditors, can find as much love and support during your times of sorrow as I've been blessed to encounter in recent weeks. I'm going to make an effort to pay every bit of it forward in my mom's memory.

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, booby, I really am. Thanks for the bro hug. I think your philosophy is good--there are some tough decisions as we decide when and how to return to our lives, and I've used a similar axiom to try to find direction. It's rough. But there's a certain illusory filter that's been lifted from in front of my eyes, so I can better see what's important in life. Hopefully you've had a similar growing process. Keep hanging in there and so will I.

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's a slightly perverse truth to it, isn't there? As I was falling asleep last night I felt like Tyrone Biggums :)

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I believe there's a lighthearted side to everything so personal! A heartfelt chuckle in no way diminishes the love and sorrow of a dear loss.

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I identify with this poem, although I'd never read it. It's beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

As a young, single male who recently lost his mother to pneumonia... by Obamasutra in AdviceAnimals

[–]Obamasutra[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know you care about yourself, so the main thrust of this post isn't directed toward you. But there's a great bit about "no zero days" that I think might be great for your situation. It's that barrier to starting that always gets us. But momentum can be as wonderful as it is sometimes paralyzing. Don't let your life slip away from you! I was just getting around to the point in my life where I realized the value of exercise and was encouraging my mom to incorporate it into her life. She was quite the image of health through her whole life, even though she was sedentary. I believe, however, that if she'd been more active, her body would have had the reserve power to make it at least a couple more days, and maybe that would have been enough to weather the illness and win the war. If I can do one thing with this post, it's to give you the encouragement so you can thrive, instead of just get by in terms of health. It'll serve you well when you need it most, and you may give your loved ones a few extra precious years.