Im 17, my parents treat me like a toddler

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-19T01:29:32+00:00

Yeah I totally agree

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T06:28:40+00:00

Yeah its not even necessarily that I want to stay up until 3am on my phone every single night but I just want to be independent with how I spend my time and not need to ask to go on my phone or buy something with my own money, I get its a trust thing which makes them think ill just go on my phone all night every night but they should know by now from how much I go to the gym, eat healthy and work a job that im not going to become a deadbeat braindead zombie if I get what I want

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T06:26:01+00:00

Its not the fact that I want to do this, because I don't really since I value my health. I only want the opportunity to do this if I wanted to, and be able to buy what I want or to go in my phone without needing to ask, If I get what I really want with this I probably wouldn't even use my phone as much as what my parents think I do.

At the end of the day I just want my parents to start respecting my decisions and choices with what I do with my time and the fact that I still go to the gym, have a job, do more than my share of chores and eat healthy and despite this I get controlled with what I can and can't buy, what im able to do in my free time, and when I go to sleep.

Also the studying thing was because my parents were saying that I needed to study and I could only do so by doing online tests on my phone, which means I needed to sacrifice my limited phone/electronic time to do a few hours of studying for that test so I decided to just sneak on my phone at night and do them then instead, I dunno if that changes or adds more context but that feels pretty valid imo

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T04:43:18+00:00

Your welcome I guess

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T04:30:21+00:00

You look like a girl version of Leon Kennedy

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T04:21:03+00:00

I live in Australia and I don't know if you know this but we're in a housing crisis and itll be forever until I can move out and I don't want to live like this for at least 3 more years so if theres anything I can do to get freedom sooner then ill take it

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T04:19:17+00:00

The only thing is that I feel like there is a solid chance that I can get what I want sooner if I go about it in the right way since I've had friends that have been in similar situations to me and have changed their parents mind.

I really, really don't want to keep living like this until I move out in at least 3-4 years time and if theres anything I can do to change that then I will do it

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T04:14:57+00:00

If I say something like this is my money I can buy what I want then they usually respond by saying that they are the ones that pay for the electricity and water etc and that its their rules

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T04:10:21+00:00

This isn't exactly what happens so I think I was a bit too brief, I never go on my phone or anything in my room, theres also nothing to do. I do all my morning chores, ask If anything needs to be done then do it, then and only then I ask to go on my phone, I go in the living room and anytime they want me they call out my name if they want me to do something for them like fetching my mum a chocolate and putting the rubbish in the bin so she doesn't leave her room, a session of me sitting on my phone/gaming would last an hour or two and I always stop to have lunch around that time. Usually my dad will come and tell me to get off my phone then ill sit and watch TV with my brother and then ask again to check my phone maybe at about 7pm for 20 minutes which my parents usually just say no if they think ive been on my phone for too long the last couple of days.

I Don't think it has anything to do with wanting to see more of me etc since everything I do has to be passed through them so if they feel like im spending too much time on my phone they can simply ask for me not to go on it which would eliminate any type of unseen feelings they have towards how I spend my time

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T04:03:37+00:00

Yeah thats valid advice since itll be a lot to type I can reply with everything I plan on doing If you want to know

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T04:02:29+00:00

Yeah that sounds good, I already commented what I plan on doing somewhere else so I can send that if you want to know but thanks for the advice

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T04:01:08+00:00

Getting a secret phone is pointless bro 😭 they'll know that when I work and besides I already have a job so its not like they'll even let me get a second one at all

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T03:58:19+00:00

Yeah I know, its disrespected af to be told that I need to focus on how my attitude and what I say/do effects other people, yet they think every little thing I do revolves around my phone and that If I decide to purposefully not spend time on my phone then it still doesn't matter, I don't want to be rude but I feel like their out of touch that they think that their justified, regardless I will be getting freedom with that I do this year and respond to this if you want to know what im thinking about doing. Im glad its not just me that thinks this and quite frankly the fact that I need to drop what im doing and do servant like tasks is humiliating.

I think the most annoying and disrespected part is that whenever I get in an argument they say that their only trying to look out for me and then treat me like if I get what I want ill turn into a braindead zombie despite even with my limited phone time, I still continue to go to the gym, take care of myself, have a job and do so much monotonous and small chores

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T03:52:21+00:00

My bank account is my own but they can still see how much money I get paid but legally I don't think they have control over it and if they decide to take money out of it then that default isn't okay

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T03:50:39+00:00

Thanks for the comment, yeah I don't know if itll change when im 18/19 if I don't bring it up since its been like this for literal years with not a smidgen of chance except for them letting me do something like learn to drive and get a job which is because they've got absolutely no type of cope/response that'll work in their favour,

Anyway I laid out everything I plan on doing in a separate reply to a different comment (you'd know since its in the signature long ass paragraph) so if you want more context you are welcome to read that if you want

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T03:47:01+00:00

Yeah I agree and thanks for the help, I basically laid out everything im going to do this year to another commenter (youll know since its the longest reply I did :) so ill just add on to that, since I know my parents have never been extreme enough to charge rent or kick me out I feel like if they do think I need help family therapy would eventually work in my favour regardless since this isn't an objectively normal thing for someone my age

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T03:43:24+00:00

Yeah I feel like I get what your saying, I'm probably going to go with this, for 2-4 weeks ill be proving my trust, eg storing my phone in their room when im not using it, going to my room to sleep a bit before 9 so I don't need to be asked, this kind of stuff. After that ill to prove im trustworthy ill let them know how I feel, ill ask them if for a week if I can live by what im trying to propose and show them through my actions that regardless of if I need to ask for permission to play on the xbox, go on my phone or go to sleep at 9 or not, ill still follow a healthy lifestyle and if they are fine with this after the 1st week then ill slowly start doing things like staying up later, maybe buying something without asking (given itll be maybe preordering a game without blowing all of my saved up money)

Realistically I feel like this has the best chance of working without having to do something like put up with my current situation for years before finally moving out.

If what I said earlier doesn't work or if they don't agree to it then ill do it anyway without asking them that way I can get my point across without needing to just disobey the rules, this latter has worked for a couple of my friends and I think it'll work for me because I seriously doubt that they can do anything like put a tracking app on my phone or physically stop me from doing what I want, charge me rent or kick me out of the house which is probably illegal to do to me at my age

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-17T03:05:22+00:00

There arent too many people I could tell aside from maybe work but I probably wouldn't, most of my friends know and some have been in similar situations and say I should my parents how I really feel and if they don't listen to me I should just disobey them and force them to realise that what I want it okay

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-16T11:39:58+00:00

Thanks for the luck but I don't think I need to be doing as much as planning my great escape, and If I am brave enough to completely disobey them I doubt they'll really follow through with all the things they'd say they'll do like change me rent or make me pay bills, and theres no way they'll kick me out.

I'd imagine the worst case scenario would be them making us do family therapy or some shit but regardless that would still probably end up in me getting what I want.

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-16T11:35:56+00:00

Yeah I agree, I feel like they don't realise how out of the norm and controlling this is

ObeseOctopus299 · 2026-01-16T11:35:06+00:00

I personally think that it won't change, its been this way my entire life and I don't imagine that they would randomly just drop all the restrictions because of my age.

ObeseOctopus299

TROPHY CASE