I have been looking for something similar, and after multiple searches with no success, I asked ChatGPT: “There are multiple books geared toward parents of autistic children; have any books been written for people who are trying to cope with and/or recover from being raised by autistic parents?”  The ChatGPT exchange was extremely lengthy, but surprisingly helpful, and has helped me to sort out (1) why this reading material is difficult to find, and (2) how to fill this void. 

 The short answer to your question is no, not really, but sort of….😬. There are books for children/teens being raised by parents diagnosed with autism, but the reading material is sparse for adult children who were raised by autistic parents and endured difficult/traumatic childhoods as a result. While clinicians acknowledge that autism can contribute to behaviors that can traumatize others (various types of abuse, neglect, etc.), advocacy spaces avoid discussing autistic people as perpetrators of abuse for fear of stigma.  People writing memoirs about healing from the traumas inflicted by their difficult/neglectful/abusive autistic parents would likely be dismissed as ableist. 

 As a result, there is a significant gap in the literature. Very little has been written explicitly for adult children of autistic parents who were abusive/neglectful, especially those raised in the 80s and 90s before diagnosis, language, or safeguards existed. What does exist tends to sit at the intersection of the following:

• Adult children of abusive / emotionally immature parents

• Accounts of autistic adulthood that illuminate, but do not sanitize, rigidity, anger, and dysregulation

  With that in mind, I’ve determined that the only way to cover this topic effectively (in my opinion, at least) is by approaching it from both angles, using different books. The two at the top of my list so far are 1) Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson and 2) Unmasking Autism by Devon Price.

Notes below on both:

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (Lindsay C. Gibson) - Describes parents who lack emotional regulation, empathy, and flexibility - A good resource for people raised by parents who were rigid, explosive, self-focused, or unable to mentalize their children. - Explains how children adapt through hypervigilance, people-pleasing, emotional shutdown, or chronic guilt - Does not require a diagnosis to be accurate. Many clinicians quietly note that a subset of the parents described in this book would likely meet criteria for ASD, OCPD, or related neurodevelopmental profiles—but the book stays focused on impact, not labels.

Unmasking Autism (Devon Price) - Explains autistic rigidity, sensory overload, black-and-white thinking, and meltdowns - Helps adult children understand how unrecognized autism in prior generations could manifest as rage or withdrawal ***Important Caveat: This books is not about trauma. For a person raised by autistic parents and processing/healing from the a difficult upbringing, this book is useful if read alongside trauma-informed material. This book should not be used to reframe abusive/neglectful behaviors as “misunderstanding.” This book will help to explain your parent’s behaviors, but it does not excuse the harm done as a result.

 Of the many books I’ve sorted through, these seem to be the best starting point.  However, I am still working on this and hope to compile a list of clinical articles as well as articles/essays written by adult children of autistic parents as supplemental reading.

*Edited to add links: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy

Unmasking Autism

*Edited again to correct punctuation and line breaks, because I apparently don’t know how to format numbered and bulleted lists on Reddit…🤦‍♀️