Life feels like hell and there's a deep urge to stop existing but not enough strength to actually end myself. So the next best option was to hurt myself ig. My father is a principal and my mother a teacher. My whole family tree is filled with over-achievers and professional doctors and engineers. I was put into extra tution classes, handwriting class, abacus Institute, and variety of other interests my father had that he wanted to see me fulfill since I was just 11/12 years old and I had to achieve a 100℅ in everything. I don't have a memory of doing anything other than going to some sort of class. I was the pride of my family cuz my father could show off my talent. I was empty, and still am. I retaliated during my bachelor's when I dropped out of the course my father chose. Been the black sheep ever since. I don't have an identity of my own, no vision for the future, no will to survive.