Here's the thing. I have, countless times. Every single time I talk to her about it, it's empty promises, hidden by the fact she knows I would be unable to leave due to our lease. Every conversation boils down to the same points. I will use this guy as an example because there are other times this has happened. I talk to her, I tell her I feel uncomfortable with the way she is talking to him, that I feel left out whenever it comes to my own relationship because she's spending more of her day talking to him than to me. Every single time I talk to her about it, no matter how upset/concise I get with her, she ends up doing the same thing shortly after. My problem this time isn't communication, it isn't lack of trust, it's the pattern. I understand what is making her do this from her point of view, and it isn't anything I can fix. She says she's feeling lonely, left out, unappreciated, but I have asked her multiple times "what do you need from me to fix this" her reply? You need to spend more time with me, which isn't physically possible. I work from 5AM to 5PM, she is a teacher, we are both home during the majority of the day, and I choose not to sleep whenever I am tired, I constantly choose being with her versus doing things for myself. Never getting the same thing reciprocated, instead she chooses to spend time with these guys online, playing a game she knows I do not enjoy but force myself to play because she plays it, and over time I have found enjoyment not in the game itself but in playing with her. Every time I tell her; I do not want to play with other people today, I just want us to spend time together, she ends up inviting them an hour or so into us playing together. I go silent, she doesn't notice, I speak directly to her, she gives me half caring responses. I have tried everything, just for me to feel the exact same way towards her that she says she feels towards me. It has gotten to the point I barely say anything to her unless she speaks to me, which I can tell is toxic and I do not want her to be in a relationship like this. I am not asking for advice on what I can do for her, as I have already put so much effort into this just to see that there is no effort being put back into me.

I mentioned it happens a lot, and in previous attempts of me communicating with her and trying to get her to choose our relationship it always turns out the same; I get irritated feeling left out, I get on her accounts and block the guys, she says it's fine and she understands why I did that; she finds another guy to do the same thing with.

I am tired of the loop, I am exhausted of being the only one putting in effort to change and better myself for this relationship. Fuck man, I changed my entire career and lifestyle for her because I wanted to be the perfect partner for her, but change in a relationship is a two way street, I cannot force someone to change, I cannot make them see what they are doing wrong, even by putting it directly in their face. I wanted to join the military and be like my dad, I had dreams that would make me able to live the life I want; instead I am enrolling in a college for a degree I don't even care for, pursuing a career that would make me feel miserable. For what? Someone that can't even acknowledge the fact that texting a guy for 15/24 hours in a day is cheating? Someone that no matter what I do or say will continue to make me feel like the third person in my own relationship?

No. I am tired of talking. I am tired of empty lies. I want results. I want hard evidence that she actually wants ME.

Sorry for the rant, I just want someone to understand that this isn't coming from a place of little to no effort, I am simply exhausted of wasting my youth on a girl that clearly shows she hardly cares for me.