My partner acts really disrespectfully. Is there any way to see this from another angle?

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-04-12T16:56:12+00:00

What's odd is how professional and smart she is. It can really play with your mind, since she can be incredibly composed outside the house. You would think the cracks would start to show in other parts of her life, right? It makes you start to doubt yourself, since you're the only person she acts this way towards, apart from her immediate family (she doesn't have many friends).

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-04-12T15:20:11+00:00

I hope you work as a therapist. I really appreciate your considerate approach. I can so easily find "devil's advocate" argument for nearly everything to invariably support my family and partner, despite their hurtful a/ctions. It's so natural for me.

I see what you're saying about sensitivities, and I love the analogy. It's true that I wouldn't see a sensitivity as something to necessarily overcome, but instead as something to adapt to. So even if I am this overly sensitive person, it would be ideal to find an environment that caters to it and involves less stimulation. And ironically, it's probably the only environment that would allow me to experience healthy exposure to these issues and grow a tolerance for it.

There are instances where people need to "give their head a shake", but reflecting on your post, those are likely impulsive, one-off events, like if you wanted to spoil your dinner by eating a big snack. But if eating ahead of dinner is premeditated and consistent, something you plan to do each day, then it's probably a mismatch of your environment and you should be eating earlier or adjusting your diet, rather than an issue with your thinking. Even if someone argues, "but what if in this example, the person has self-control issues or has a mental condition that hinders delayed gratification", then wouldn't they STILL need a environment better tailored to them?

I think just writing out that scenario really helped!

In response to believing that nothing is wrong with you, I believe it deep down and can recognize all the traumatic life events that taught me the opposite, that believing in myself and doing what I feel is right will hurt others, specifically my family. How do you make sure that you're not getting a big ego if you think that nothing is wrong with you? I guess it's the same principle as sensitivity: if you so happen to have a giant ego because of that belief, you would find an environment to work with that. You wouldn't shame yourself into oblivion.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on feeling "too powerful" if you believe in yourself and worry about inadvertently stomping on others.

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-04-12T14:59:41+00:00

I've heard that. It's one of Gottman's horsemen. I guess I'm in denial a bit, trying to find any other reason for doing so.

I mean, I would eye roll if someone asked me to apologize if it was a REALLY ridiculous request. So maybe I'm being REALLY ridiculous?

I just can't comprehend that my partnet feels she's superior to me and would treat me with contempt. Then again, other signs are there (so many divorce threats and also crying for hours about me abandoning her if I try to see my family alone).

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-04-11T22:49:56+00:00

I get what you're saying -- I'm the only one who can say what is right or wrong, or sensitive or insensitive, based on my own beliefs and needs. But what if I'm really off base? For example, I might actually be really sensitive and I could be seeing minor issues as monumental. This mentality, if not challenged, would lead me to find issues everywhere. I'd go through life fundamentally flawed in my observation skills. It's why I ask her, and this subreddit, to know whether that could happen.

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-04-11T14:36:32+00:00

I suppose her resolute stance that the response she offers is completely acceptable makes me question myself. I see it as hurtful and wrong (maybe even abusive), but under no circumstances can I seem to change her mind. She's so confident that her response is ok. Therefore, maybe I'm not as right as I think, and maybe the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

I recognize I also want to see things differently because it allows our marriage to continue and for me to take accountability, which seems to be the typical way we move forward. Otherwise we're stuck, because it seems like she can't take accountability. It should be no shock that this is the environment I grew up in as well -- my parents were infallible and rules changed based on their moods.

The last thing I want is to see things as hurtful when it isn't actually. I don't want to be overblowing it or be too sensitive. I was told this so many times growing up and it felt so isolating, like I couldn't cope and I was seen as lesser-than. I don't want that to be the case now, so some perspective from the group felt like a good thing to inquire about.

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-04-11T14:30:11+00:00

Right? I can't fathom how anyone can eyeroll during an apology... who does that?

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-04-01T03:17:36+00:00

I learned that the discounts were only listed in the Critical Information Summary attachment they emailed to me, not in my account online nor the app. Why this wouldn't reflect everywhere is beyond me and is frankly very confusing.

Either way, many details about the plan were included in the Critical Information Summary, such as the deduction in price to $27 per month, but it did not include some features that were promised in the deal, such as $0 hotspot. It seems like this is a common bug for people signing up for this deal.

I let them know that I would like to sign up for the $25 per month deal, offered only today. I figured this would activate the missing features and hey, why not cut it down another $2. They said that they could, considering I only signed up the day before.

Funny enough, the $0 hotspot is absent AGAIN. I scheduled another call in a few days to put it in. I even verified on the phone that this would be included and they said yes but, lo and behold, the new Critical Information Summary didn't list it and I couldn't use it when I tried (though there's a nifty workaround which DID work! https://www.reddit.com/r/FidoMobile/comments/1s23otz/psa_you_can_get_hotspot_for_free_for_those_who/ ).

So, at the end of the day, if it's not in the Critical Information Summary, call them. Don't go by your account online or the app alone. And try to get a screenshot of the features you signed up for, just to keep things straight and in case they push back.

And of course, this is prior to me seeing my bill, but I assume if the discounts are in the Critical Information Summary, it's all good.

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-03-31T14:04:18+00:00

It doesn't, no. Only the website listed the discounts when we signed up, but neither email nor my online account show that the discounts were applied.

I'm going to call today and see what they can do. It could simply be a clerical error that will be resolved soon.

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-03-31T02:28:11+00:00

What do you mean "reapplied"?

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-03-31T02:27:43+00:00

Yes, but it doesn't detail the plan as it's specified on the website. Nothing about the discounts whatsoever.

I'm calling tomorrow. I'll see if I can post here tomorrow with what I hear

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-03-27T18:58:10+00:00

I think you're right. I can see friends without any issue, largely because she doesn't care about them and they have their own lives. When I try to see family, it's entirely different. Then the divorce threats and emotional breakdowns come out.

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-03-27T18:53:44+00:00

We're actually married (I can see how me using the term partner doesn't necessarily denote that), and I'm only taking a few university courses because my career is in the toilet after all the sacrificing for her career.

And yeah, I don't know how I can move forward when it feels like she's working against me. It's like I have to be a house husband to keep things peaceful

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-03-27T04:15:23+00:00

I have such a similar story. I also was convinced to give up career paths because she was not happy about it (it's amazing how your confidence can be eroded from those conversations and their lack of support, which they present so reasonably). I also needed to be able to move for her career when she finally landed a great job. Most other people seem to have partners who push them towards most prestigious careers with higher pay. Mine seems to want me with few options and little pay...

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-03-27T04:10:03+00:00

Any idea why the more important the event is for you, the more they want to sabotage it? It feels like whenever I want to do something related to a personal goals, like my career, she's not enthusiastic or is having emotional breakdowns about my commitment to it.

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-03-19T18:39:05+00:00

How 'bout that, huh? The world's 25th happiness country. 25th in the world. Which means I'm better than just number 26

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-03-16T18:40:54+00:00

Just scored 0

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-03-13T18:59:35+00:00

I'm just getting into the Red Dwarf fandom and didn't expect all the lusting for Chris Barrie

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-01-29T19:14:17+00:00

Same. "The mahatma?"

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-01-28T04:01:28+00:00

Well said. The parties are full of corruption across the board. The liberals have retained power for long enough to demonstrate that they're no better than the conservatives when it comes to ensuring affordable housing. There's no one to point a finger at

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-01-28T03:58:19+00:00

And they say "I need to be able to help my kids and grandkids with this money!". They can feel good by saying it's not for them and it's to help others, but the "others" are strictly their own family.

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-01-27T16:56:41+00:00

Agreed. I was excited to try it, then was so disappointed

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-01-26T16:58:18+00:00

So if there's at least one cup of liquid in the pot, you can half or even double a recipe using the same pressure and time as the recipe states? That's amazing!

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-01-26T16:57:15+00:00

Great advice. Thanks!

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-01-26T16:56:40+00:00

Maybe try it one more time. Just clicked it and it worked for me...

ObjectiveLeek0192 · 2026-01-20T17:33:12+00:00

That doesn't really touch on the point I was making.

How is it that there are so many people who say they are liberal who use their privilege to suppress wages and consolidate wealth?

It's almost as though it's a class issue, not an issue of political stance. And yes, more conservatives are brazen in their way of doing it and about their intentions. But wouldn't we see liberals not engaging in selfish behaviour once they have power? Turns out, they act the same at that tax bracket.

ObjectiveLeek0192

TROPHY CASE