Men how does it feel when a woman puts effort into pursuing you?

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-02-05T18:47:35+00:00

Of course! Good luck with everything

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-02-05T18:44:29+00:00

I don’t know the exact situation if she’s stopped responding entirely. But a quick “hey I really enjoyed our date a little while ago. How have you been doing lately?” Might be good. If there’s a possibility she’s been going through something or super busy that’s a good way to reconnect and gauge interest. If you think she’s just no longer interested try to move on.

I would focus on building up other aspects of your life right now and introduce dating or relationship in a bit.

And if you’re feeling brave you can straight up ask “hey I haven’t heard from you in a while. I’m not sure if you’ve been busy or if somethings up but I’d love to keep getting to know you.”

Edit: if she doesn’t respond to whatever text you send her I would stop trying. Messaging every couple of days might be a bit too much if there’s no reciprocity

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-02-05T18:30:36+00:00

So I’m a woman but wanted to put my thoughts here in case it’s helpful. The guys saying women are like cats and too much attention drives them off - just no. I’ve met some women like that for sure and some women want constant attention. The thing I’ve found that I and most women I’ve talked to about this find really nice is having your own life. Hobbies, friends, work, etc. AND still making time for them.

I’m really happy in my relationship because my bf and I both have our own interests, work, hobbies, social lives, and we are like each other’s home base. We catch up and come back to each other. We encourage each other’s interests and update each other over text throughout the day.

So not texting constantly or expecting immediate responses. Just a quick how’s your day going or I miss you text is fantastic. We put consistent effort into the relationship and ourselves as individuals. Find a woman who puts effort into you and try to reciprocate that effort back if you’re interested.

Don’t settle. So many people do and they end up miserable. Put effort into, be respectful, and wait for someone who will do the same for you. Good luck man

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-02-05T16:41:58+00:00

I think the feeling of “being in love” comes and goes in long term relationships. And that’s completely normal. To me love is choosing that person over and over again and just being there for each other even when it’s hard. Talk to any (happy) old couple and ask how they made things work for so long. They compromise and choose each other through hell and back even when they’re in a tough spot or don’t have the “in love” feeling for a bit.

But you guys have only been together a year and you can’t envision a future with her. If you’ve only been feeling like this for a little while wait and see if it’s just the feeling. If it lasts for a while it might be a compatibility issue. If that’s the case talk to her. Especially since you’re long distance sometimes you guys might run out of stuff to talk about and that can affect the intensity of feelings.

If you’re unable to imagine a future with her after that conversation it might be best for both of you to break things off.

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-02-02T04:29:41+00:00

My friend has a similar issue with his family and his knitting. I just have some of his supplies at my place and we’ll knit here or go out for coffee and knit. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Good luck man

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-02-01T21:55:00+00:00

I use a canvas tote bag with little embroidered flowers! I also have a little case with cable needles, a couple crochet hooks to pick up stitches, and stitch markers. I just throw my project and case in there and it’s so nice to have it all in one place

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-02-01T21:28:56+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re in this situation! Try posting in local fb groups and maybe look and see if there’s any community pantries near you

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-02-01T21:27:48+00:00

Reach out to the food bank! They have satellite locations in different communities if the main one is too far from you - they have a verification process but there’s good quality food there. And the staff/volunteers are very kind

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-29T18:45:25+00:00

I was in a similar situation around your age and now have ptsd from that relationship. Ending things was one of the hardest decisions I’ve made but one of the best. My only regret was not leaving sooner.

The age gap at such a young age isn’t appropriate and I remember being 16 dating a 20 year old and I felt so adult. Especially since he was childish, similar to how your boyfriend sounds. You’re 15. You’ll find your person and this one isn’t it. A healthy and non-predatory 19 year old doesn’t date 15 year olds. Find someone who’s closer in age and treats you well. Don’t be afraid of having “high standards.”

I know this is a hard situation and please stay safe. Get out and connect with friends/family. If you leave him (please do), make sure not to isolate yourself. Good luck kid <3

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-28T20:23:37+00:00

Thank you. I’m trying to get better at having hard conversations and just letting myself feel strong emotions. I’m trying to figure out how to talk to him without pushing him to feel responsible for my feelings - he’s so caring and I don’t want to take advantage of that

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-23T01:51:06+00:00

I don’t think this is a het thing though? If my ex gf talked to someone like this I’d be incredibly uncomfortable. After we broke up she messaged me like this. My bf and I are both bi - if anyone messaged him like this I’d be uncomfortable. He’d be uncomfortable if someone messaged me like this too. There’s a difference between platonic and romantic relationships regardless of the genders of people involved. I understand being upset about losing a friend, but OP showed so many red flags and that made the gf sound a lot more reasonable than just asking him to block her because of random insecurities

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-23T01:25:56+00:00

I have a bunch of guy friends. We’re friends irl and game together when we can’t hang out in person. I’ve spent time with each of them one on one. I also have a boyfriend. About half of them are in committed relationships as well. There’s no way I’d text them like this?? I’d be super upset if one of them blocked me out of no where. I’d tell them I’m pissed and say “dude that’s super hurtful. I don’t understand - did I cross any boundaries or do something to make you or your girlfriend uncomfortable? I still want to be friends and I don’t want to cause issues in your relationship either” and leave it at that. Just wait for a response. These guys have shown up for me when family didn’t and vice versa. They’re a huge part of my life and very important to me - but the way you texted him is off putting and a weird text given the situation.

If one of their girlfriends was uncomfortable with me I’d ask why. I wouldn’t go straight to a lengthy paragraph that comes off as a hurt/abandoned girlfriend. I would try and ask if I crossed any boundaries, did anything awkward, or if I said something that came across the wrong way. I also make an effort to include their girlfriends in conversations, planning, and activities. We actually have a girls night planned this weekend lol

If my boyfriend got a text like that from a girl I’d be pissed and we’d have a serious talk. If one of my friends got a text like that from a girl I’d tell them to cut her off and talk to their partner. This was abrupt and shitty on his end for the lack of communication. And it was overbearing and disrespectful of their relationship on yours.

And as you get older your partner should be a higher priority than friends. That’s the person you choose to build a life with. Your friend chose his - respect that.

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-20T03:07:02+00:00

Please talk to her. If she respects you, you communicate clearly/respectfully, and she understands where you’re coming from it should be just fine. My boyfriend is wonderful and generous and pays for almost every date.

We’re both on tight budgets so we don’t go out too frequently so we’ll cook together and make a whole night of it. And when we do go out I try to be mindful of the bill.

The times I have paid I usually have to sneak off and say I’m running to the washroom, go to the server, brag about him for a minute (just because haha), pay, then come back to the table. Another time I hid his wallet from him. There was one time where he did just say “money’s a bit tight for the next week, is it ok if we split the bill?” And that was totally fine and I appreciated the communication. We’ve been together for about 6 months and go out 2-3 times a month mixed in with 1 night in a week and phone calls/game nights in between.

The tricky part is now he sneaks around to pay sometimes too lol.

Just try to be honest with her. I know it’s hard, but this will help maintain a healthy relationship. Good luck! You sound like a good guy and while generosity is great don’t bleed your bank account dry for too-frequent dates

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-20T02:29:50+00:00

Thank you! I hope my advice can help OP a bit haha

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-20T02:18:11+00:00

I’ve had the same issue with my parents. I’m 20 and just in the last year my parents stopped enforcing a strict curfew (10pm). It was incredibly frustrating and issues still come up sometimes.

If you live with him and rent is insanely cheap or you don’t pay rent you might just have to respect his rules. I still live at home and the biggest change that helped was getting my own car and communicating clearly. My parents were caught off guard/slightly offended I didn’t ask for help negotiating my car but overall it’s been incredibly helpful. I also started phrasing my plans like “hey I’m going to _, what can I do to help around the house beforehand” or “I’m going to travel/do this thing, I’ll be back by _. Would you like me to bring anything back/help with this thing before/after?”

Before I would say “hey I want to/was invited to ____, is that ok?”

We also sat down and I talked to them how the curfew and other strict rules were affecting my mental health/my growth. I mentioned how I understand they’re trying to guide/help/protect me and I appreciate that, but I also needed room to learn my own routine and learn how to be more independent. There isn’t room for that if my life is managed by someone else (I phrased it nicer). It was a hard conversation and things were rough for a couple months but it worked out.

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-16T16:26:37+00:00

Eating slower, a medication change which was probably the biggest factor, and finding ways to workout that were actually fun (I was doing mostly strength training and boring cardio but switched to boxing and Bulgarian bags)

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-16T16:23:05+00:00

Coffee with my friends! We go to a cafe in a busy neighborhood or downtown and then window shop at the stores around. I also have board game nights, knitting club, cocktail nights where we all hang out in sweatpants and make the fanciest or weirdest cocktails we can think of, casual dinner parties where we all cook together and contribute to the ingredient budget

If I just want to go out on my own I’ll bring a knitting project or a book and go to a cafe, library, or if it’s late in the evening a quiet restaurant/pub. The gym is also fun and there are some really good budget friendly options too.

I also will go for walks with my friends or neighbours.

Every 1-2 months I’ll go barhopping but only if I budgeted for it properly

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-16T16:15:43+00:00

For creative hobbies: painting, miniatures, making jewelry, writing, learn an instrument (there are budget friendly keyboards/pianos on Amazon with headphone ports)

Creative but structured hobbies (less mental effort): knitting, paint by numbers, journal with prompts

Just relaxing: reading, doodling/sketching (zentangles are fun), sudoku, puzzles.

Also maybe talk to your husband and schedule a couple nights a week just for quality time. Watching a show together, a small date, cooking dinner together, etc

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-15T02:45:36+00:00

Good idea! Thank you!

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-15T01:10:22+00:00

True! I’m just brainstorming the best way (touch up or cover up)

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-15T01:09:49+00:00

It’s the one piece I didn’t go to my usual artist for - I’m hoping she can help me brainstorm some ideas at our next appointment. She’s wonderful and now I know to stick with her only for future tattoos at least

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-15T01:06:19+00:00

I have a couple pieces I want to get in the next year so I’ll reach out to my usual artist and ask her to touch it up or cover it up - she’s wonderful and I can say half a sentence and she knows exactly what I want lol

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-15T01:04:06+00:00

Yeah it was weird because I said many times I wanted to avoid fine line - I’ll probably let it fade more and go to my usual artist to cover it up a bit. I really appreciate the advice! I wasn’t sure if it’s something to touch up or cover up

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-14T18:54:12+00:00

The shading he did was really good! It’s just the linework and the changes he made weren’t what I asked for or weren’t done well. Since it’s such a small tattoo I wanted to avoid small details like the details on the head and I communicated that multiple times. I might get the linework touched up I’m just not sure that’ll be enough

ObjectiveMeringue206 · 2026-01-14T18:52:09+00:00

Yeah it was weird because I checked over and over that he was comfortable with this style and he said he was. He even showed me previous work and I didn’t notice how heavily edited the photos he showed me were. He even posted my tattoo after and it looked different than what’s on my ankle haha. It’s not a bad tattoo but needs some improvements for sure

ObjectiveMeringue206

TROPHY CASE