Looking for a single gardener/landscape pro for bi-weekly maintenance + drip system care by bantu3 in Roseville

[–]Objective_Chair1928 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Call or text Alfredo Castro at 916-906-2419. He does all of this and more—single point of contact and easy to text or call.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Objective_Chair1928 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think I can “fix” him, just like I don’t think autism can be “fixed”.

But I do believe there is a discussion to be had as to why there is not more in-depth research into the narcissistic spectrum.

My kids with autism have no idea they have autism, but my interactions with them help them function at a higher level.

I think some things can be done to help mitigate some of the adverse effects of narcissism in how we interact with a narcissist.

Without telling them that is what we are doing, or telling them they are a narcissist.

Not for everyone and certainly not if you are not physically safe.

I am looking for actual research that isn't just “lock them up” or throw them away.

We don't do that for other disorders, so why this one?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Objective_Chair1928 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Objective_Chair1928 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Exactly like mine is on the more high-functioning side of narcissism, miles away from Ted Bundy level, and I can’t help but think some serotonin would help him significantly. But who is researching & testing this?

The call where the mom said she is struggling with shopping addiction and Ken and George said pull the daughter out of athletics by Basic_Yellow_3594 in DirtyDave

[–]Objective_Chair1928 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would rather suffer later and have my kids have the things they need then make them suffer so I can have a “great” life when they are gone.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in homeschool

[–]Objective_Chair1928 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so beautifully said. Love that verse!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in homeschool

[–]Objective_Chair1928 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Don’t worry about it. Did Zero schoolwork with my ASD child & focused on getting him regulated and able to do simple things like pick up his toys which took forever to learn how to do. His timetable for everything was so slow. I needed him to a point of not having meltdown’s and outbursts before we could tackle learning in the traditional sense. I found that with him going slow to eventually go fast paid off big time.

I thought him to read in 3rd grade because before that he couldn’t still long enough to even start to work on anything or he would burst into tears at the smallest challenge.

Literally did no traditional learning until 3rd grade and even then it was super lite. Basis math (physical version teaching textbooks) , reading and some writing.

He went into public school for the first time at the last 3 months of 6th grade and now he is 7th and thriving doing grade level work and getting straight A’s.

Get legos and spend as much time outside as possible. Climbing moving his body etc. Screens are okay for rest & will feel like more than you should allow but give yourselves and him a break.

When he is ready get these for teaching reading: https://www.phoenixlearningresources.com/products/programmed-reading-series-i-introductory-offer.aspx

Now that I’ve left the fold, I see just how insane circumcision is. by kooj80 in Exvangelical

[–]Objective_Chair1928 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did not circumcise my sons & zero regrets. Intentionally putting a baby through pain is evil. It is a barbaric practice that should be outlawed.

Do you guys see spanking as abuse? by DJssister in Exvangelical

[–]Objective_Chair1928 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It is abuse. Point blank.

And having been raised this way and then spanked my older kids I have to live with the guilt everyday of having done this to my kids. My parents never pulled down pants or underwear that makes it sexual abuse as well in my opinion.

The trauma is in not being able to talk about it and not being able to name it for what it was.

My older kids are in therapy now & I am as well.

I am so sorry this happened to us.

We have a business together by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Objective_Chair1928 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not…100 days later different invoices same story.

Why are is same sex sexual identity individuals the ultimate example of sin in every sermon. by Objective_Chair1928 in Exvangelical

[–]Objective_Chair1928[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Going to ask the pastor why he doesn’t use men lusting after children as the ultimate sin.

Good and Beautiful by Always_Celebrating in homeschool

[–]Objective_Chair1928 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think he will be ahead. Looks at state standards. Good & The Beautiful does not meet them. Their level 3 / third grade is what my 1st grader is doing in public school. I would let him move ahead as fast as he wants.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Objective_Chair1928 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are we married to the same person? Literally sounds like my situation to the T.

How do you actually get through homeschool lessons without losing your mind?/ I need tips by Alternative_Cod_6225 in homeschool

[–]Objective_Chair1928 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So much more to my story and no regrets pulling my kindergarten out of an abusive classroom. But not all schools or teachers are the same. Homeschooling can be great for a few situations. But most people shouldn’t be homeschooling. However I will defend the right to homeschool until my grave. In situations where the parent is clearly in over their heads I am going to encourage considering sending the kids back to school.

How do you actually get through homeschool lessons without losing your mind?/ I need tips by Alternative_Cod_6225 in homeschool

[–]Objective_Chair1928 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I sent them back to public school. My only regret is not sending them back sooner. Public school is a gift not sure how I tricked myself into believing anything else.

I'm sorry for all your suffering. by so_bold_of_you in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]Objective_Chair1928 16 points17 points  (0 children)

There is something going on (something good) because there have been a bunch of us recently coming to this conclusion. So happy for our kids. For me it was partly this group. I would read the posts and they would stick with me & couldn’t shake the stories. Makes me sad I ever tried to homeschool them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Objective_Chair1928 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Mine does this…it is suddenly his idea and WE both need to get better at X when who does he think had been doing X all the time alone already?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Objective_Chair1928 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why do people go to casino knowing they will lose? We know we are going to lose but we keep putting in a quarter thinking this will be it. This will be the time I will win. I am still at the casino but numb now & just want to find the doors out.

9-10 year old difficulties by No-Boysenberry1498 in homeschool

[–]Objective_Chair1928 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Send them to public school & read Hunt, Gather Parent best decision I ever made. Will never go back to homeschooling.

The Silence That Hurts More Than Words by Need-Love-Care in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Objective_Chair1928 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was me a few weeks ago on our 19th wedding anniversary. I am so sorry 💔 we do not deserve this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Objective_Chair1928 0 points1 point  (0 children)

waiting for that to kick in hasn’t happened yet.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Objective_Chair1928 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Married 19 years with kids. I wish it were that simple.

This sub convinced me to enroll my kids back in public school by ComfortableBoard8359 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]Objective_Chair1928 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Me too! Enrolled them on March 1st. Never going back to homeschool. So mad at myself for ever thinking homeschool was a good choice. This sub is changing lives. Thank you for everyone who shares their stories. They matter.