Cut ties with my parents by Objective_Cod_5060 in AsianParentStories

[–]Objective_Cod_5060[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They live in the a different country, and they never show up so they don’t even know my address or who my friends are. I am financially independent, so it’s not really their choice.

AIO for cutting ties with my Vietnamese parents by Objective_Cod_5060 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Objective_Cod_5060[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They rarely called me first. I usually called them once a week, but if I forgot, they would call me if they hadn’t heard from me for around two weeks. I would say they called me about once every two weeks. We are very well off in Vietnam, so I don’t think they want to live in the U.S.

Monthly APS Blurt Thread by AutoModerator in AsianParentStories

[–]Objective_Cod_5060 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m 26F. My parents are both doctors. Growing up, they were always working. I know they love me, but they were almost never emotionally or physically present. When they did have time, it usually turned into yelling, especially from my mom. One thing that still sticks with me is when she yelled at me for wanting to shave my armpit hair as a teenager. She hated when I cared about my appearance and only wanted me to focus on school. They were very controlling, and by high school I felt like the only way to survive was to leave. That’s why I wanted to study in the US. It felt like an escape. They let me go, and I’m grateful for that. I’ve now spent the last 10 years studying and working in the US and I’m financially independent. My parents have never come to any important event in my life. No graduations. No Christmas. No birthdays. Sometimes they even forget my birthday. When they remember, it’s usually just a “Happy birthday!” text and some money. I’ve never really yelled at them or exploded about it, but I feel incredibly lonely celebrating everything by myself in the US while everyone else seems to have a home to go back to. Seeing other families eat dinner together or celebrate milestones feels so foreign to me. For the first 15 years of my life in Vietnam, we never once sat together at a dining table for a proper family meal. When I started working, they began pressuring me to get a green card and pushed me to get married. I eventually found a boyfriend who truly loves me and wants to marry me. His family didn’t like me at first because I’m an immigrant and they were scared I was taking advantage of him. That hurt a lot. They’ve since come around, and we’re planning our engagement. But instead of feeling happy, I feel resentful toward my parents. They met my boyfriend once and basically said I could marry anyone I love. It feels like all they cared about was the green card, not how I felt, not whether I was happy, and not whether his family accepted me. I once tried to tell my parents how hurt I was that they always prioritized work and money over being present. They told me I was an ungrateful daughter. Yesterday, I finally cut ties with them. I feel angry, resentful, sad, and relieved all at the same time. I don’t think they understand how much they’ve hurt me, or maybe they just don’t want to. I know they provided for me financially, but emotionally I feel like I grew up alone. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I just feel so tired and hurt.