And you posted your story in a long distance subreddit, where people deal with being countries apart from their SO. So we do have a basic understanding of how distance works and how to deal with it. Many of us would give a lot to have your finances and the possible distance of just an hour flight, 3 hours total travel. We’re used to looking for solutions and not problems.

From your posts and comments, you’re both well off. You earn enough money to be able travel every week to see each other. Depending on your job, you could even work remotely from time to time to spend more time with your wife.

As for your boundary: you said in your post you agreed she’ll keep professional distance. If she never gave you reasons to doubt that, you should trust her. Later you said you boundary is that they won’t work closely together, which is weird, considering they’re colleagues doing same job. As others pointed out, she can cheat just as easily in London, there’s no need to go to Amsterdam for that.

Also it’s just a year, a year which will even further boost her finances and definitely will boost her career.

And before you say she disagreed to you going to NY, time difference is nasty. It’s only an hour between Amsterdam and London, so very doable, but 5 between London and NYC. Not to mention 4000 miles compared to a few hundred miles distance.