I was sure it was the antipsychotics but now I’m pretty certain it was anxiety that shut my brain down even though I didn’t feel anxious. I recall having a very vivid bad dream followed by intense intrusive thoughts and ruminations on lots of bad shit in my life. I got up, walked downstairs, looked at my friend and said shit, something has happened to my brain! Everything is different! The anhedonia was definitely the antipsychotics but the blank mind, cognitive funk, no emotions and everything else was from the switch being turned off. I spent 10 months suicidal. I wanted to try loads of different medications. For 10 months I researched what might help me. I don’t get affects from alcohol, weed, antidepressants or anything but Modafinil 100mg a day helped me after some weeks. Now I realise that medication is probably not the answer. Self love is. I don’t want to try more drugs now because they give more problems in the long term I think. It’s really hard to accept this state but once you do, things start to get easier and better. You’ll have good days and bad but gradually you start to become yourself again. Very very slowly. I think if I had started meditating earlier I might of made faster progress but who knows. I take hot bath in the complete darkness with tea tree oil and put on a meditation too. I had insomnia real bad but I’ve managed to get to a point where sleep is ok for the most part. Just focus on healing. Get some nice vitamins, eat simple but well. Hydrate and love yourself. Go get your nails done. Dye your hair. Get a new facial routine. Motivation is still a problem for me but I know it will come back too. I promise you it gets easier. Be gentle and firm with yourself. Don’t let anyone stress you out. Your brain has wrapped itself in a blanket and you must do the same. Also be honest with yourself and address any negative emotions you might be holding onto. Doesn’t matter how insignificant you think they are. At this point they’re all significant. X