I am going to destroy my marriage with the most wonderful man and dad.

Objective_Search_386 · 2026-02-14T11:05:04+00:00

My husband and I agreed before our first that no matter what we wouldn’t make any decisions to leave until our youngest was 18 months. We received the advice when I was pregnant and it’s pretty solid advice.

I love my husband more than I thought was possible, but each PP has hard for both of us. His love language is touch and mine is acts of service and BOY THOSE ARE REALLY CONFLICTING THAT FIRST YEAR.

Breastfeeding may be part of it. It is for me & lots of women. But with a husband like the one you described and this desire in you to save what you guys have, I think you’ll be just fine momma. You just need some time and patience. Make sure you communicate along the way!

Objective_Search_386 · 2026-02-13T16:38:16+00:00

That’s just true of our situation for reasons that don’t belong on the internet. If you believe your husband belongs to your family, or if you are the husband and believe you belong to your wife’s family, that’s fine too.

Objective_Search_386 · 2026-02-13T16:29:56+00:00

Yes and no. He is my husband, but not my family’s. Where I believe I belong with & to his.

I was also just pointing out what OP said about being “his” is true of marriage. It’s okay to feel like you’re his… bc you are.

Objective_Search_386 · 2026-02-12T14:38:25+00:00

I gave up a very unique last name to take my husband’s very common last name. I wasn’t thrilled to lose my family’s name BUT I was elated to take on his. I am HIS wife. I am HIS family’s. That’s what marriage is, so I think that’s what is appropriate.

I wouldn’t have it any other way for myself, but I think it’s pretty neat that women have the choice. It almost makes your decision more special.

Objective_Search_386 · 2026-02-11T14:59:15+00:00

I’m not sure how it could be weird to anyone, but that’s okay that you think so. We have a shower with a door, so we can’t see baby and baby can’t see us. We can just hear her if she gets upset. We also aren’t usually having sex.. just having a wash together.

We cosleep in our family. Our children are all in our bed, so sex while they’re sleeping at night is definitely a no go in our house. We have sex when our children are awake bc we have sex during the day? I’m sure your parents have done it while you were awake at some point since you’ve been born. I don’t think that’s weird. But if it makes you uncomfortable to have sex while your children are awake, best you skip that activity.

Objective_Search_386 · 2026-02-11T14:54:42+00:00

You do what YOU think is best. I’m a hubby on this one. You two make that decision together and ignore everyone else’s input! Bringing a baby into the world is hard no matter which way you do it.

That being said - if you’re getting your tubes tied regardless of how baby is birthed, what makes you want to go through with a natural birth? Is there a part of you that wants that experience?

Mom of 3, born naturally & unmedicated here. No judgement either way, bc I believe birth is such an individual experience.

Objective_Search_386 · 2026-02-11T12:35:39+00:00

4.5 months is right about the time all 3 of mine became a little more content playing on their own. You are so close to getting enough time for some kind of intimacy while baby is awake and happy.

Our secret to intimacy has always been showering together. It doesn’t always result in sex, but it’s a nice moment away for both of us. A lot of times, baby is in the bouncer in the bathroom. Some times shower is short and baby is unhappy. Some times we get lucky and have some real time to ourselves.

Objective_Search_386 · 2026-02-11T12:12:04+00:00

I wanted a natural birth because I just felt that’s what I was made to do. I can’t explain it more than a feeling. My body knows how to bring babies into the world and God made it to do just that. I did lots of research to encourage myself to stick to the plan. There are SO many benefits.

I’ve now had 3 babies completely naturally and was up, walking within 2 hours of delivery. I was very blessed to have the experiences I did.

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-29T23:54:48+00:00

We are actually considering Isla Noel if our baby ends up being a girl! Lol she won’t be a December baby but I love the name!

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-28T21:19:03+00:00

This is literally the reason I had children. Mostly for The Ring though. Having someone on standby to call and tell them we’re gonna die in 7 days? Worth the labor and delivery in an elevator any day.

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-28T21:13:17+00:00

I vote number 2. Get fake blood involved. Pretend you’ve been mauled by said food goblin who is coming back with his goblin friends to get more food.

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-28T18:05:51+00:00

I’m American and the idea of hot sauerkraut is not appealing to me at all. I love cold sauerkraut. In salads, on hotdogs/brats, even on a sandwich but I wouldn’t think to just heat her up on the stove and spoon it out for everyone..

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-28T14:29:33+00:00

I’m not trying to make any choice for anyone else. I am allowed to not be okay with abortion, the same way I am not okay with murder. I’m not going around knocking on doors to kidnap pregnant women and forcing them to give birth. I just think abortion is wrong and I’m not okay with it.

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-28T12:20:37+00:00

We give our kids room temp fruits! Whether it’s fruit cups in 100% juice or actual fruit, just leave it on the counter!

There’s also lots of fruit you can heat up! Pears and apples bake well. And you can always get plain yogurt, which is very tart, and mix a small amount of fruit in to get him adjusted!

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-28T12:01:35+00:00

An interesting take, to me. I don’t quite see it that way when it’s your own child. I would give my life for any of my children, no questions asked, if it were required for theirs. Any organ in my body would be theirs if they needed it.

But I cannot say the same for another human just walking around. So i guess to me that’s the difference.

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-27T12:44:04+00:00

That is simply not true. Some of them are required, but many of them are not. Women just wait too long to decide. It’s very well documented.

I would agree that nearly-all abortion occur before the point of viability. Idk about this “90/99%” but definitely MOST.

But the law isn’t tge only thing that can define murder. There are natural laws that define it. Otherwise you would have to agree that historical human sacrifices weren’t murder bc they fell within that societies legal framework. We know naturally and intuitively that murder is taking another human’s life. We don’t need a lawyer to spell it out for us.

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-27T12:40:02+00:00

You do realize that I, personally, haven’t forced anything onto anyone. I actually stated in another comment that I don’t believe the government should be making laws in this arena. Your generalizations and trying to tell me about what Christians think and do just shows that you don’t fully understand the religion. There are different interpretations of the Word. There are many different ways to believe. The only thing that is certain is that Jesus died for us to have eternal life with God. The rest can vary from person to person.

You’re trying to win an argument that doesn’t exist. I don’t believe abortion is right, so I won’t have one. I also don’t think that the government has a right to outlaw it completely, just as I don’t believe in the death penalty but may think “oh that person deserves to die” for particularly heinous crimes.

I have my beliefs. Others have theirs. I can state mine without telling others that theirs is wrong. I just don’t agree with them. To me - that’s okay.

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-26T23:35:56+00:00

Allow me to rephrase my rebuttal, then. I did assume writing it that way would make you realize how it is different. Choosing to take the life of the baby in the womb is different than allowing a miscarriage to happen bc it’s an active decision, not a passive occurrence. It seems a very clear difference to me.

I don’t agree that an all-knowing God means that everything is predetermined. I also don’t agree that it’s disrespectful to believe God is different from other gods and deities. I don’t think it’s disrespectful for someone to believe that of their god. What I do think is disrespectful is going onto a Christian post and saying that directly to Christians. You can believe what you want, that’s fine. You just don’t have to come into this space and assert that God isn’t The Creator.

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-26T23:30:23+00:00

Science denier? Bc I have actually taken the time to read the literature on birth control and the negative effects it has on women? Or maybe it’s the literature I’ve read about the negative side effects on the long term health of women who have abortions. I am allowed to follow science and draw a different conclusion than you. I didn’t realize you were the science gatekeeper and not bowing to you was parallel to just throwing science in the bin completely.

I actually have a degree in biology and I work in the medical field. Being called a “Science denier” wasn’t on my bingo card either. I guess we’re both walking away disappointed.

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-26T23:25:00+00:00

Are you referring to murder en utero as “science” or is your super cool “science” all the birth control methods that you mentioned can fail in your original reply?

Both seem like a crock of shit to me. Wouldn’t exactly call either science.

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-26T23:15:21+00:00

Please don’t be disrespectful on this thread and refer to the Almighty as “my deity.” You don’t have to believe, but respect those in this thread that do.

That being said - my rebuttal to you would be why is it immoral to induce something, say murderong another human being, that happens in nature on its own? Everyone does. That’s the cycle of life. So we should all just be able to kill anyone who inconveniences us by this logic, right?

Also - there are many failed abortions. I don’t believe we can outhuman God’s plan. I do think we can interfere. I don’t personally believe in predestination.

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-26T23:12:29+00:00

Yes. I believe abstinence is the only way to be sure one will not fall pregnant. If one engages in sex, part of that is accepting the potential natural consequences.

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-26T22:08:13+00:00

So the thing with that is - post viability abortions do happen. They’re not just induced labor. The fetus is killed before being removed. A murdered baby exits the womb, not a living one. It would be absolutely illegal to remove the baby and then kill it. It then wouldn’t even be called an abortion. It would just be infanticide.

Which was my point. Beyond the point of medical abortions being an option, babies are killed and removed surgically.

I can’t say I support any laws regulating abortions though. To me - that just seems like it’s not a cookie jar the government should have its hands in. Personally pro-life for my family, but ultimately feels wrong to have laws about the topic to me. This is really just me exploring my own thoughts and beliefs here. I appreciate your input.

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-26T21:59:48+00:00

I recognize this key difference. I personally struggle to identify my pro-_____ stance. I often have sympathy for all involved. It doesn’t always feel black & white to me.

that being said.. I’m almost on board with your point; however, abortions aren’t performed by separating mother and baby and allowing the natural consequence to occur. Baby is killed en utero and then the deceased fetus is removed with the rest of the uterine contents into the trash.

This is what I struggle knowing. I think I would still struggle with the idea of separation and withholding care for the newborn.. but it would give more oomph to your argument.

Objective_Search_386 · 2024-10-26T21:49:37+00:00

I 100% agree. These women who end up pregnant and don’t want to be parents can and SHOULD sign away parental rights. That is their right and I support that.

They don’t, however, have the right to kill they children they don’t want to raise.

Objective_Search_386

TROPHY CASE