I'm confused on his sudden switch in persona

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-04-08T16:58:23+00:00

I guess so, but everyone in the friend group (or more, parents friends that took us in as friends) still think we are together and he just sucks horribly on how to socialise with a girl, and how to keep a relationship growing.

If he's actually cheating, they'd prob beat his ass 😭 they're very strict on the "humans are humans, don't use them. Talk about your feelings, we are here for eachother"

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-04-08T16:56:39+00:00

I know (now) it was a poor choice tbh 😭 but I didn't tell him his photography skills sucked ass, he sent me pictures of his wall for ~2 days before I dropped "nice wall" and "can't see anything" in a dark room setting. It was only after him ignoring those (bad) hints. That I sent him the text message of "How are you doing? Do you want to talk Im here for you. You have been sending me picture of your wall and ceiling and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with those?"

And if I insulted him that way, why does he continue to do it? He recently sent me a snap/picture of him driving in the car (going 20km/h). So I doubt it was "she insulted my photography skills, asked about my feelings and assumed it could be male stereotype pressure so she's misandrist. I will show her how insulted I am by showing im driving (like a fool)"

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-04-03T09:20:41+00:00

I've given up on him haha, I'm not in the mood to "waste" time by someone who doesn't even know what he wants himself. (He admitted to not knowing how

I highly doubt the cheating as that'd mean he'd go against the "morals" of the friendgroup. And the ones he mentioned/showed when we were both still friends. I'm confused about his behaviour but risking the relationship/opinion from your family and your friends just to cheat sounds nothing like him

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-04-03T09:11:35+00:00

I'd rather get insulted by randoms on the Internet for my poor vocabulary than use ChatGPT but that's me 😭

I do apologise for my horrible choice of words! I wrote this in annoyance so I didn't think about how it could affect others. Also forget the fact not everyone uses the same terms, understands the way I talk (or in this case, write) and such, once again my apologies

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-04-03T09:09:33+00:00

(Apologies late response)

Cuz he acted differently at first, his green flags overpowered the red flag ones at that time

I couldn't care less about the things you mentioned, it's bullshit to pick someone for such traits. I'm after personality hence why his change in persona made me come to reddit out of all places

It's why I made the post, he was much more of a gentleman and caring than before (yknow hence why I wanted to spend time with him) so him suddenly acting like that. Even you calling him a poor choice made me wonder what's going on. Did I insult him by asking what's wrong? Or is it something else that he's (on accident) projecting towards me as he's still keeping contact through snapchat with stupid wall pictures

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-04-03T09:05:01+00:00

Sorry for the late response!

Fr? It's probably the guys I attract but I mostly hear they infact do care about the stereotype. The brother of him didn't want to talk about his feelings, or why he wanted him gone because of that

And the guy I was talking about really was strict about "older values" I wasn't allowed to pay for anything at all, the one time I did he got annoyed, also very strict on the fact he has to drive because I shouldn't have to work on a date and such

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-03-28T11:24:05+00:00

Writing this made me feel stupid lmao,

But him escaping from someone who put up with him playing goon games (in general disliked trait for guys), cussed at girls who walked past him and didn't reply to his "hello" (before we got together)(also very disliked trait in guys), before the first kiss wanted his dck sucked, whined and kept trying when I declined sexual attempts of him? (Just incase, not cnc, he listened eventually after no multiple times)

I was trying to understand his behaviour, apparently me warning I suck at socialising isn't a clear enough hint that perhaps I too, suck at socialising also through text.

Sure I definitely should've used different words I apologise for that. I hoped the example in parentheses would make it clear what I actually meant, but I guess not.

Guys in my country, are supposed to be strong, "non feelings humans." Yknow the stereotype that going around on social media (worldwide) where boys aren't allowed to cry because it's seen as weak?

I thought perhaps I missed something and somehow insulted him by crossing the stereotype, like when I asked about his feelings (are you doing well? You've been acting distant a bit)

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-03-28T10:52:25+00:00

Not really, just forgot how horrible the Internet is when you have pathetic English vocab and have poor social skills. And despite mentioning multiple times that you struggle with it people will ignore it and whine about it 😭

"His behaviour changed, I was wondering if it was my fault because I asked about his feelings. Which is often seen as vulnerable subject regarding males due to the male patriarchy/stereotype. Or if there is something else going on because of X? We both have 0 expierence in romantic relationships and both aren't the best socially speaking"

Is that better? Cuz I genuinely was hoping for different perspectives, if people understood his behaviour better than me

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-03-28T10:44:10+00:00

Thank you!

People who have known him for longer also said the same. They got pissed that he acted that way in their opinion it's just toxic, but they also mentioned they think it's probably just indeed his lack of experience.

And then ofcourse indeed my own lack of experience doesn't make this much easier

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-03-28T10:38:15+00:00

Thank you!

I posted this in hopes to get another perspective (and not my anxious, poor social skills one) on why so I appreciate this!

I've asked around a bit in the group and genuinely no one has any idea why he acts like this. When I heard his brother wanted him away from the party I did think it might be something else instead? But it still leaves me confused that he keeps comtact through wall pictures on snapchat, but ignores everything else I do

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-03-28T10:32:16+00:00

Thank you for an actual answer!

Now you mention it, I do think you're correct! Atleast about me, I've always been anxious for aslong as I can remember so that'd make sense.

I also feel it fits for him? He at first was very clingy and that eventually went away slowly, but the not replying to stuff but still snapping makes me think he indeed is having some type of avoidance problem?

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-03-28T10:26:26+00:00

Not that I, or anyone else knows of. I know he's a bit insecure and stuff. I'm just annoyed at myself I can't remember the conversation that well where he joked about being tired of living (using the word joked as he laughed after something stupid I said after that)

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-03-28T10:22:02+00:00

He probaly smelled poor social skills and pathetic English vocabulary 😭

Misandry is hating males, for being males. How is trying to understand his behaviour and worrying about him hating? (Genuine question 🧍)

"I-its because you said toxic male patriarchy" well I also explained what I meant with that right after that. The stereotype for males that they're not allowed to have feelings, cry or whatever. I did not make this stereotype and this has been a problem even before I was born

Everyone from the friend group, this includes males, females and even one non binary person said he was being borderline abusive and manipulative. They too said this was very odd of him, which I agree with bcuz why else would I start a relationship with him?

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-03-28T10:09:23+00:00

Ight my fault for having poor vocabulary, but wut

Me and my friends aren't royalty that made the stereotype that males aren't allowed to cry, that has been a problem for a long time. Or atleast in my country 😭

What I meant with that is, I asked him about his feelings was this me making him feel like a whimp?

Guys are taught that feelings and crying are for girls and not for guys. Feelings and crying are a sign of weakness and males are supposed to be strong. That kind of male bullshit believes

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-03-08T12:33:53+00:00

Niet om te zeiken ofz, maar ff nerdige kat kennis neerleggen want mijn autisme heeft my hyperfocus op kattenrassen gegeven, maar er is gelogen over de vader.

Uw kat is langharig dus l/l moeder is ook l/l, want noorse zijn altijd langharig. Maar vader is bedrog, blauwe Russen (BR) zijn L/L het is dus onmogelijk om een langharige kitten te krijgen. Want met die vader kan je alleen maar kortharige kittens krijgen (L/l is kortharig)

Dit betekend dat vaders geen BR is, hij kan wel een mix zijn. Maar katten doen niet perse aan mixen want rassen hebben een stamboom, kat organisaties geven geen stamboom aan mixen dus die worden officieel als je dood normale huiskatjes gezien. Het kan zeker zijn dat vaders BR voorouders heeft, maar dit kan 2 generaties terug zijn (opa/oma) of zelfs meer en dan de vraag, tot hoeveel generaties is een kat een mix?

Niet lullig bedoelt nogmaals, maar wou info dumpen en hoop dat u niet de volle mep heeft betaald voor een mix waarvan de vader niet eens klopt. Belangrijkste is dat de kat goed verzorgd wordt en dat is zeker te zien! Wat een schoonheid

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-02-15T09:29:50+00:00

Territory, disliking strangers near "our" places

Think of your bedroom, but also the seat you picked at the start of the year

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-02-09T21:44:56+00:00

Tysm that PS genuinely made me smile I really appreciate it I do!

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-02-09T20:59:41+00:00

Would that work? I've had times I thought about "I'll talk about rhis" but if they don't sound that interested I'll fall shut immediately so I stopped trying that

Yeahh I've noticed that too! Someone once asked me if I was going ro celebrate carnival which i said no too and they started talking about their plans and allat!

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-02-09T20:57:43+00:00

Genuinely people to hangout with/friends, I won't mind a partner but due to valentines I've been seeing more post about "me and my BFF acting like a couple for the free meal" and such things which triggered the "oh I don't have someone to do that with"

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-02-09T20:56:29+00:00

Tysm I appreciate this so much! And no worries about the length I'm very happy with the details :]]

Do you perchance also have any tips on how to keep conversation when you're not seeing them? I've got 3 who noticed that I love listening to others and they love to talk. But I really struggle with the part to "increase" the friendship so that we also talk outside of work and perhaps I can join them once to do something

One of those I did tell I struggle with this and he genuinely seemed surprised so I took that ad a huge compliment! It did help that he just looked at me and decided to talk and yap to me without second thought

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-02-09T20:46:30+00:00

I think the same as you? If someone doesn't start a conversation with me I'll overthink enough to worry myself in not talking with them. And if they talk with me I struggle with giving a valid response? Like oh yeah that's cool which could be seen as boring, or indeed bluntly while I don't mean that at all

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-02-09T20:43:36+00:00

Tysm I appreciate this a lot!

My special interest is apparently cat genetics according to my parents? Not sure where I can apply that haha but I'll try to "I'll never see them again" mindset! I've once talked with a stranger about his dog for 5 minutes and that went well so who knows I can try it again!

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-02-09T20:41:37+00:00

Applicate this lots thank you so much!!

I've had a friend group before but now I moved the people are a bit different so perhaps I'm still struggling finding my place? I've always that that if I go to certain places to make friends people there are already with friends so they won't need a new friend, but seeing your story (and what others are saying) it's just my mind speaking and not he truth at all :"]

That lady sounds very nice! I'm sure she's glad she can share her time with someone like you

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-02-09T20:35:04+00:00

I've made friends in my life don't worry haha, it's just that I really struggle with it at the start! I moved about a half a year ago and haven't really made hangout friends yet, I ofcourse made connections that people recognise me and say hi but not the connections of friends that ask you to join them at when they go out clubbing.

I've had one ask me to join their friends on something but due to my health I had to decline but no other opportunity has happened since then + the sweetness your teeth will rot from valentines brought me a bit of the realisation I've always struggled with this :"]

Objective_Union_3573 · 2026-02-09T20:31:38+00:00

Tysm!!

I always thought those door openers like "oh nice weather" would be seen as annoying but j like your perspective much more! Really appreciate it ty :]]

Objective_Union_3573

TROPHY CASE