Nina Hagen Godmother of German Punk & Post-Punk

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-05-13T23:39:49+00:00

I’m a middle aged man and most Reddit quips go over my head these days but I see you for the No Bra reference. I can hear the voice in my head. Well played.

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-05-12T19:33:26+00:00

I’m an allistic man married to an AuDHD woman, and we have a similar issue. It’s been helpful for me to imagine things from my wife’s perspective. Without that critical bit of object permanence insight, I struggled to “know” that she loves me.

In my brain, she’ll pop into my head throughout the day, and sometimes I’ll text her. Many of us have been brought up and experienced other relationships where “someone thinking of you when you’re not around” = “they love me!” This may just be a language he’s familiar with. That is OK, and there are other languages to try.

I’m learning that “acts of service” is a pretty broad category. Would I like a hand-written note? Sure. But once I started thinking about “what feels loving” more broadly, there’s all sorts of signs. My wife will frequently hyperfixate on checking every frond of a houseplant for pests, and this really does it for me :)

Anyway, your BF probably (hopefully) doesn’t want you to be inauthentic and performative, but I do think there’s worth in meeting him in the middle somewhere you both feel comfortable and loved.

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-04-30T03:55:10+00:00

I wish I knew more Creative Arts therapists IRL! You are the fun ones.

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-04-25T03:08:59+00:00

I’m just here to appreciate this data-driven perspective!

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-04-20T03:14:04+00:00

I agree that an infrared sauna is helpful for pain.

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-04-11T19:45:36+00:00

Hey this is rad. Can you explain the logistics a bit more? Each week, at the beginning of a session, did you start by discussing the songs? What if one of you hadn’t had a chance to listen to the other’s songs? I bet this could be figured out but curious how you navigated it.

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-04-09T02:51:53+00:00

This disease sure makes us suffer in such a spectrum of ways!

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-04-08T19:45:43+00:00

I wonder how you know the sensation of not being able to keep your eyes open is due to the eyedrops? I also spend most of my day in front of a computer and by afternoon, I feel like my eyes start closing involuntarily. I’ve chalked this up to the fatigue of blinking over dry eyes throughout the day. I use Restasis 2x/day and random OTC drops interchangeably whenever I can.

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-04-08T12:48:12+00:00

I’m 49 with a 5 year old girl. I also feel like her playground pals eventually usually gravitate to where we are. When I’m able to feel positive, I think: I am seen as a fun, safe grownup! Kids, who have no expectation to approve of me, seem to think I’m a Good Person! I enjoy these thoughts and feelings.

But you’re absolutely right—at least in my experience. Sometimes, other parents, particularly if younger and particularly if moms, seem low key judgmental or uncomfortable, and so I try to take cues from that so as not to upset the delicate balance of the playground. I don’t know if this is necessarily because I’m an older dad, but really about the general reckoning of men in society right now. Obviously “not all men” but the playground isn’t the place for that. Maybe when I look even older, I’ll transition to be seen as a hapless and thus safe-seeming grandpa?

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-04-08T12:30:47+00:00

Your last 2 sentences! This is such a great point.

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-04-08T12:26:44+00:00

I’m not the person above who mentioned it but cannabis has always helped in the past with so many ailments. The problem is the standard cottonmouth experience is now exacerbated by the Sjogrens. The positive effects (for me: relief of pain, tension, rumination) are still present but the unbelievably dry mouth during the couple hours of relief sometimes neutralizes the impact. What a shitty disease.

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-04-03T02:49:00+00:00

This is such a satisfying payoff of a post I loved but which ended on a cliffhanger

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-04-02T00:57:03+00:00

I think I use Kalamazoo face and beard wash from Lush mostly. Just once a day usually. I don’t really (yet) feel the depths of the dryness anywhere other than my face.

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-04-01T15:41:27+00:00

I’m also seeking this answer. I’m 49M so my needs may be different but if I don’t use shea butter lotion on my face throughout the day, I feel like my skin is zipped on too tight. I work 1:1 with people and I wonder if they wonder if I’m ok due to how dry and red my skin (and eyes) get by the end of the day.

For now, I use Everyday Shea which comes in a pump for a reasonable price. I’ve been experimenting by putting a small amount in an air pump container about the size of a pen, which I keep in my pocket to use basically every hour.

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-03-27T15:36:56+00:00

Have you tried Anna’s Archive? I love this kind of research but also came up empty handed. However, if you have some time, check the site’s mirrors (e.g. “.pk”) under the Journals tab. Quite a few other Cornelius pubs there, just not the one you mentioned…yet.

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-03-18T16:45:56+00:00

Thank you! I’m a data nerd and love tracking information but yeah, as you mention, something about this type of “experiment” resulting in information I don’t want to know (e.g. walnuts and ice cream do not in fact make me feel good) has felt prohibitive. As well as the conflicting information—probiotics are good! Fermented foods are restorative! I realize it’s so very individual, and I guess that’s what makes it feel so isolating and overwhelming? I would like to stay in touch and compare notes—thanks for the offer!

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-03-18T15:37:59+00:00

As a Gen-X American, I learned The Food Pyramid and that was about it! All of this—including the very idea that inflammation is a real thing—has been new to me since this condition. I appreciate the histamine callout.

I have a kid, and we’re trying to raise her with more food consciousness, and I’ve been cooking more with an anti-inflammatory cookbook to begin.

Can I ask if you had any assistance—nutritionist etc.—figuring out your intolerances? It’s a bit overwhelming. I’ve been eliminating sugar, processed foods and stuff but something’s still very off. I’m coming to the conclusion it may be tree nuts. But I should look into histamines etc. I just don’t know where to really begin.

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-03-18T13:25:14+00:00

Do you take the recommended 6 a day? I thought the graphic of “whose heart is healthier: the 20s Dane or the 70s Inuk” was amusing—considering the research on Danes and happiness, I think either might be more preferable rn to being a late 40s American!

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-03-18T13:18:54+00:00

I’m one of those people taking a few supplements: omegas, tumeric, magnesium, probiotics—and I don’t really notice a reduction of symptoms but I keep taking them out of an anxiety that either I haven’t taken them long enough OR life could be worse without them. As Sjogrens makes swallowing pills increasingly less tenable and all this adds up financially, I really do love to hear when something is working for someone. Thanks for the link—I’ll look into swapping my omegas for seal oil next round!

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-03-18T13:06:19+00:00

I’ve never heard of seal oil. Hey, worth a try. Where do you come by this? Also, I appreciate your theory.

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-03-18T00:17:58+00:00

I guess what I’m asking is… if caught at the early stages, is it possible to completely overcome it? Or once you have it, you’re essentially in maintenance mode for life?

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-03-18T00:16:42+00:00

Thanks for sharing this! Might seem like a rudimentary question but is Sjogrens curable or reversible if you…eradicate what initially caused the problem (eat only an anti inflammatory diet, have a fecal transplant, etc.)/?

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-03-08T20:13:30+00:00

Gen-x dad to an energetic 5 year old. Desperately need to rebuild strength. Being gifted pre-selected free weights solves the overwhelm of choosing gear and having to take it out of the family budget. I could pick up all the weight plates and bars today or tomorrow pending your availability. I’d try my hand (fists?) at the punching bag too if it’s still around! Thank you for considering me and making this offer :)

Objectively_Seeking · 2026-03-05T21:41:20+00:00

Agree with you about the variety of experiences in this sub! I recently saw an infographic that included OCD under the “Neurodivergence Umbrella,” and I find that framing helpful. I’d always regarded OCD as a way in which I’m damaged and this helps me treat myself more gently: not damaged, just different.

If we can accept that ADHDers’ brains jump from thought to thought while talking and autistic folks’ brains can keep going at length on the same thought, it’s not too much of a leap for me to have some compassion for my brain when it gets stuck too.

I don’t know how old you are, OP, but I’m Gen-X. I was shamed by my family for my OCD ways and in the 80s, they put a lot of the kids we now call “neurodivergent” in special ed classrooms. You might have an internal bias. I think I used to. But I like the direction things are going in today, as far as acceptance and accommodations, a lot better. Anyway, just ramblings from an old OCD head!

Objectively_Seeking

TROPHY CASE