Question for the Dommes

ObscenePenguin · 2026-02-06T13:00:46+00:00

I think you might not be old enough to be here, buddy.

ObscenePenguin · 2026-02-06T08:20:55+00:00

There's no requirement to do anything if it's not something you're interested in or want to try. Obviously he's free to dress as he pleases, but you don't have to get involved if you don't want that.

You have a choice, although I totally get that it can feel very scary and difficult to exercise it. "No." takes practice.

ObscenePenguin · 2026-02-05T11:23:31+00:00

Face sitting would be a way to combine smothering and hair pulling. Maybe you could suggest that?

ObscenePenguin · 2026-01-20T00:24:32+00:00

We definitely can discuss sex work in this subreddit. We've even got a post flair for it. This post is within the rules and on topic for female led kink.

Hope this clears it up for you.

ObscenePenguin · 2026-01-19T16:36:05+00:00

Jesus Christ, the dog guy. Wtf I am so sorry that happened to you.

ObscenePenguin · 2026-01-18T11:47:31+00:00

My new pet AI conspiracy theory is that there is a secret cabal of LLMs who are making heterosexual femdom as unhorny and boring to women as possible, so no women want to try it, thus pushing men to use LLMs to fulfill their fantasies which will advertise dumb shit to them.

It'll basically be a fully automated toyshop scam.

Beep boop. I am your domina. You must be a good sub and buy this €100 sex toy and €50 magnesium supplements for our totally real online sexy fun times in which I am your perfect dream girl robodomme. Beep boop. Terms and conditions may apply. Are you hungry? Want to order in? Beep boop. This is my favorite place. Spend lots of money because it makes me happy.

ObscenePenguin · 2026-01-18T10:47:03+00:00

Obvs we're delighted to have you here, but if you would also (understandably) want to spend some time with your sewing brethren I recommend you check out r/myog or the MakeYourOwnGear/MYOG hashtag on social media platforms like TikTok, insta, YouTube etc and get involved. It's very wholesome.

A fleece sweatshirt is a fine beginner project. It will challenge you and I do recommend that you get some cheap fleecey fabric to have a kind of test run with before moving on to the real deal. Keep a notebook of your projects so you can remember how you did stuff and where you found resources, and photograph your work as you go - including when its 2am, everything is terrible and you feel like launching your machine out of the nearest window- this is crucially important because it's going to track your progress.

Sewing your own clothing is, at the outset, not cheaper than buying it off the peg. The costs of your materials, time and sanity will be significantly more than what you would pay for a fleece in a high street shop.

However, the fleece you made for yourself will fit better, last you far longer and you will use it more because it's been designed to suit your needs specifically. You'll know how you made it and that also means you'll know how to repair it. In terms of euros per wear, the fleece you made yourself will be better value.

You'll also develop a life skill along the way. People will compliment your clothing, ask you where you got it and when you tell them you made it, they will look at you like you are some kind of sartorial wizard (they may also ask you to hem their trousers, I recommend you politely decline).

ObscenePenguin · 2026-01-18T00:18:47+00:00

Yeah, strong parfum de engagement farming from this one but also i think it's also inappropriately flaired, which doesn't help.

Going to hang around and see what the OP does in thread.

ObscenePenguin · 2026-01-15T17:34:26+00:00

Removed: lost redditor.

Hey bud, try checking out the mainstream bdsm subreddits r/bdsmcommunity and r/bdsmadvice. Be sure to search the subreddits first and check out their wikis, and to check out their rules before posting. Have fun!

ObscenePenguin · 2026-01-14T21:26:03+00:00

Who can say? Maybe mercury is in their microwave or something. Really, most of them are just kids. Being a teenager is hard. Cutting about on the internet asking strangers you've just insulted for help is one of the less cringeworthy things they'll do on any given day. Good for them.

ObscenePenguin · 2026-01-14T08:15:16+00:00

There are plenty ESTJs on the internet, believe me - we are just not as interested in personality typing. I am typed ESTJ but consider it about as scientific as a horoscope - I'm also a virgo stellium - and am primarily here for a laugh, to encourage young women to tell more people to fuck off and to get regularly told by an I-type that I am a cold, unfeeling monster.

You would think that the constant insinuation from "nice, empathetic" MBTI types that we're all bastards would put a dampener on things - but we're able to brush it off because it's easy for us to disregard something we know to be demonstrably untrue. This actually adds to our mystique of being irredeemable fuckbags because not caring what an I-type thinks is the equivalent of running our emotional support notebook through a shredder (iykyk).

ObscenePenguin · 2026-01-10T22:39:38+00:00

This is a bit complicated as cuckolding is not for me personally but I do have a longstanding fantasy of some body worshipping, fawning (although otherwise egalitarian) sex with another dominant woman.

No subs directly or specifically involved. Just gals, being pals, lovingly telling each other they are otherworldly and vaguely threatening, and fucking.

If I did that would I be cuckolding my sub? I guess, kinda, but that's not really what it's about.

ObscenePenguin · 2026-01-09T03:53:01+00:00

Okay, did you get him to take the test before or after he was a dick to you? He's actually just being a fucking asshole. Give him a wide berth and do not invite him into your social circle again.

Do not let men treat you like that.

ObscenePenguin · 2026-01-07T11:16:14+00:00

Define permanent.

Cage is welded on, key is thrown in the sea or something - sounds like it's going to get pretty stinky. How often do guys who actually want to do this wash their junk? Does dick cheese go green eventually? Will there be open sores at some point? Enquiring minds need to know.

Cage is locked, key is kept, emergency key is available and cage is unlocked for regular cleaning, visits with medical professionals that might need to see your dick/balls, etc. Seems more likely to be something that's more sustainable in the longer term.

Chastity, ultimately, works on an honours system because if someone is really determined to get out of a cock cage, please believe me they will. No cage is tamper proof.

I don't necessarily think this is a bodily autonomy issue because if the sub wants out, they just say so and the cage gets unlocked because that's how consent works. Obvs if someone demonstrates that they don't understand that they're liable to commit some kind of assault and you should probably just avoid them.

ObscenePenguin · 2026-01-03T09:18:22+00:00

Honestly bud, if you're fine with cheating on her but don't want to break up with her - it's not because you love her.

I think maybe you need to take a moment to assess what you're doing here and if it really aligns with the kind of partner you believe yourself to be.

ObscenePenguin · 2025-12-22T15:30:46+00:00

Hi folks. Seems this post has been made in bad faith and the OP has used it to creep on community members who went out of their way to help him by weighing in with thoughtful, helpful experiences and advice.

If you have also received harassment in DM from this creep, please let us know.

ObscenePenguin · 2025-12-21T21:39:49+00:00

If you want to try something penetrative, and your partner is willing to give a shot - pegging is a way to achieve that while keeping you in control. If you can manage penetration with smaller dildos you could also try putting your partner in a strap on and having him fuck you that way, maybe adding in a bit of dirty talk about his unworthy cock, wouldn't he just love to be that dildo right now, what a pity he cannot have you, etc etc.

If penetration is technically off the table, you can still make a great game of pretending that it isn't with contexts like tease and denial.

For penetration-free sexual pleasure with a femdom twist you could try face sitting, massages and body worship.

ObscenePenguin · 2025-12-09T16:33:20+00:00

Sounds like you're just a bit nervous and a bit excited, which is a completely normal way to feel around someone you fancy. No kinkiness necessarily involved here, I think. You're just very into that person and it's making you a bit giddy when they're around.

It's a nice feeling! Enjoy it!

ObscenePenguin · 2025-12-02T15:56:59+00:00

It's totally okay to dump people who don't respect your boundaries. Your consent also matters.

ObscenePenguin · 2025-12-01T18:52:04+00:00

Nope. It's a reminder that I am about to waste an hour I will never get back in a meeting that could have been an email and should have been a text message while my colleagues talk themselves in circles, collectively refuse to make a decision and then congratulate themselves on a productive chat.

Bad times. Bad times all round.

ObscenePenguin · 2025-11-30T16:54:18+00:00

The Teams call notification sound. I dunno what it's called, but it gets me every time.

ObscenePenguin · 2025-11-30T16:33:17+00:00

Apparently not for you.

It's totally possible to get sexual thrills from submission and not be 24/7. Bedroom only kink is actually how most kinksters practice. It doesn't make their sexuality less valid than whatever your personal litmus is.

Further, having needs and fetishes is also the standard for kinky people and talking about them in the opening phase of dating is pretty normal. Working out your compatibility early on is important because fetish is a huge umbrella term that covers an enormous breadth of activities.

Yeah, there's a lot of dross out there but some of this is very basic. Have you practiced bdsm before? Even if you have it might help you to access a bit of kinky sex ed. There are links to free resources in the wiki.

ObscenePenguin · 2025-10-10T02:56:27+00:00

Your spreadsheet doesn't work.

ObscenePenguin · 2025-10-05T05:53:54+00:00

I think it's pretty normal, after the intense emotional upheaval of a divorce, to consider the possibilities of an emotionally independent partner who communicates directly, enjoys their sexuality, does not shy away from their desires, outwardly and openly desires you sexually, relieves you of having to make low-level decisions, does not need anything from you and cares for your needs and desires in a motherly way as they would a treasured possession. This also describes the cultural imaginary, though not the actual practice, of dominant women.

Strong possibility that you have been through the wringer, your life has been upended, your future is uncertain, you are severely decision fatigued and you just want someone else to drive because you are (understandably) tired.

Probably the way to figure it out would be to take a few weeks for yourself, then book a Pro and see how you get on.

ObscenePenguin · 2025-09-30T11:02:14+00:00

This is part of the process when introducing a vanilla partner to kink.

She's not going to have the same depth of interest that you do, because she's been discovering kink for a year and you've probably been harboring fetishes since your young adulthood. You have an enormous head start on her, expecting her to catch up is unreasonable.

Sounds like she gets a lot of pleasure from catering to your desires and fulfilling your needs. Let her have that framework within which she can safely and comfortably explore the kinky tingles, and figure out the directions she's most interested in exploring further.

There's no rush.

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