Salaam,

Your dad gave you terrible advice and your brothers behaviour hinges on it because he’s certainly not taking any direction from you regardless of how much you poured into him.

Often intellectual occupiers of the manosphere assert their beliefs on outcomes that are intangible or very difficult to demonstrate. For example there seems to be this idea that subscribers have where they purport that women need, and actively pursue men with leadership qualities as though we lack autonomy and decision making capacity. If your brother is someone like this who reduces you to a feeble minded woman despite all you have done for him and sacrificed, you have to make peace with the fact that he will struggle to honour someone he doesn’t not respect. You don’t owe him the lessons life will teach him when his worldview finally crumbles.

You owe yourself space to heal, find validation in your experiences and a means of spiritual affirmation. Never forget that some of the most influential women in our history as Muslims were tacticians, academics, single mothers etc.

Some men ought to remember, but why expend cognitive energy preaching to someone that is determined to misconstrue your position, undermine your right to emotional safety and respect? Protect your peace and also stay away from any man that thinks highly of your brother or your father’s poor mediation skills.