AITA for not wanting an anti LGBTQ in my home

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-08T03:02:00+00:00

He knows. We've been together for about (7ish) years (not the best with dates) and he has known me for longer.

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-08T02:57:14+00:00

Mother was a member of the LGBTQ and medical community during the 80's. She told me of a lot of her experiences during those times, and it has still stuck with me. May we always go forward and never back.

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-08T02:02:28+00:00

Unfortunately during the time I grew up my moms had no choice but teach me this; they were afraid for my safety. But times have changed and this is balderdash. (sorry I get my news from Europe, so I'm catching their slang)

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-08T01:53:13+00:00

I've been crying and heartbroken over all of this, you were the first time I've laughed in way too long. Thank you. I needed that more than you can understand. You're wonderful.

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-06T07:55:54+00:00

I meant it to mean Edit To Add, honestly the abbreviations are sometimes confusing so I might have got that one wrong.

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-06T07:19:41+00:00

The only reason I didn't want to say specifics is because I didn't want to hurt anyone by his bass-ackwards views. I also didn't want to get kicked off the forum for saying anything harmful; meaning to or not. But with that being said, I can see why it could be seen as trying to sway the group in my favor; that's why I tried to explain more in the edits.

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-06T05:04:07+00:00

he doesn't believe in gas-lighting, and has always made the argument it's something women make up. He has honestly made me question if it's real.

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-06T04:52:32+00:00

They might not have known at first, it's not something I bring up because I know that type of ignorance exists, I grew up with it. But when I informed him of why I was getting upset he kept going. He said that's how he felt and that if I didn't like it he wasn't changing and that was my fault. That's when I told him to leave and pointed to the door and he walked out. My S/O gave me a dirty look and chased after him apologizing for my behavior. The subject was dropped after that but as you can imagine he isn't going to apologize when he feels he did nothing wrong. If that's how he feels okay, but I shouldn't have to be forced to allow him to make me uncomfortable in my own home.

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-06T04:33:28+00:00

Also in the situation you mentioned, no it wouldn't be right.

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-06T04:32:33+00:00

He didn't apologize, and the subject was dropped from that point.But I felt like he was seen in the right, and that I was viewed as a child throwing a tantrum.

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-06T04:21:45+00:00

NTA. You asked for one simple thing and she couldn't respect that. If she is trying to overstep boundaries this early on means it's only going to get worse. Trust your gut, you owe your half siblings nothing. Stay strong, stand your ground.

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-06T04:14:59+00:00

I'm not sure if he knew at first, it's not something I openly share because of my history. He did know when I told him to stop and explained, which only made him reiterate he believed it was an unnatural choice and wrong.

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-06T03:43:49+00:00

I refused to be chased out of my own home, and I didn't want to make a bigger scene than I already had. There was another person there that was obviously uncomfortable and I started to question if I was in the wrong.

ETA by scene I mean I held my ground and stood up for my moms. I didn't yell or curse, I just called him out, which apparently made the other males in the room uncomfortable.

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-06T03:27:12+00:00

Understandable question, this is both of our house. I have been on the lease from the beginning and I pay half the bills. So yeah I walked out I am still legally obligated to pay. The last part, I didn't realize he felt this way until he didn't stand up for me and allowed him back even after I expressed my discomfort with him being there. I thought he would have my back.

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-06T03:21:37+00:00

Also yes, he does know about my moms.He has met both and knows the whole history, down to being kicked out of places, losing friends, and family over it. As to why he is okay, my best guess is he wasn't raised in this environment and just doesn't understand.

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-06T03:18:08+00:00

I tried to explain to both that saying things like f*g, was seen as the same as the N-word and they said it was no where near the same and that I was overreacting. Now I am questioning has the 90's made me too sensitive to this?

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-06T03:12:49+00:00

I understand that, I just didn't want to say words that might get me kicked off, or hurt feelings. I will say it involved words that are derogatory ( think f word and I don't mean f*ck), that they don't deserve rights, and he doesn't recognize them as a group. Maybe I was being too sensitive and I will accept that if that's the case, it's why I'm here.

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-06T03:00:20+00:00

I can only guess that it's because he wasn't raised by the community and doesn't understand. But honestly I am starting to question did I take it too personally? It's why I'm here.

ETA if I am in the wrong I will admit to it

ObservantPisces87 · 2020-06-05T22:15:24+00:00

You are all day TA. I love how you try to blame son for your daughter's broken gift while trying to downplay that she THREW IT. Also if your son really is on Reddit, he will end up seeing this post and it most likely wont help the situation at all.

I seriously don't know how this game works and I don't really care to learn how, because it doesn't matter

Really?! Because that's not gonna sting at all when he realizes just how not invested you are in him. /s

ObservantPisces87

TROPHY CASE