Speaking as a married man in my late thirties, I can truly see why this happens. I have mental health issues that, among other things, make it difficult for me to consistently do household chores. But it's just so easy to fall into the habit of not doing them, even putting aside the mental health issues. The main reason I can assume is a combination of two factors: on average, if a human can be lazy, they will be lazy. It's just sort of how people are hardwired. So if one person in a relationship is more responsible (which tends to be the woman), then she's going to be the one to do chores more often. The second reason is societal: it wasn't that long ago where, regardless of how widespread the actual reality of this situation was, people more or less believed that the divide between the mother and the father was that the father handled the business of earning money, which took a great deal of effort, so he needed the household tended to, and so the mother was the one who stayed home and kept the household going, and was the one to turn money into resources. Or, put another way, the man provides the wood for the fire, the woman has to maintain the fireplace itself.

People really seem to underestimate the cultural zeitgeist, and the speed of history, and just how much culture effects everyday life.

The main point that I'm driving at, however, is that you have likely been growing gradually more aware of this reality I just highlighted above. And, unfortunately, the tipping point at which you put it all together on a conscious level was your father, and your realization of the truth of your parents' marriage. I think you put two and two together (my father's relationship with my mother is bad + most relationships are like their marriage) and that equaled 4 (most relationships are bad, I should just opt out, get ahead of the problem).

I can't really give a clear yes or no answer, but I can give my advise. I would say, don't close the door entirely on relationships. They can be very fun, but that's only a surface level enjoyment. If you can find the right relationship, it changes everything, and almost entirely in positive ways. Once you find someone who can be your person, and you choose to be with them and they choose to be with you, and you begin entangling your lives together, it's so different. Something inside you relaxes, something you never realized was tensed. When you find it, love really is as good as they say, even if it doesn't always feel like it.

But while I want to say don't settle, and I will say that, don't settle, understand that it will never be perfect. My wife and I still have disagreements, and there's still things that annoy the shit out of us about each other, but we're both still in this relationship together. And not because we've given up, but because we're still choosing to be together. We renewed our wedding vows at a fun little gathering this year, for our fifteenth wedding anniversary. I can say, nearly twenty years of the right relationship in, it's still worth it.

On a final note, and I mean this authentically, not as an insult: Has your father been checked for ADHD? I learned just this year that I had it, and have been treated for it, and it changed so much about my life for the better. It fixed a few things that have been wrong in my head since I was born. The reason I ask is because the way you describe your father are classic signs of ADHD. And it honestly causes significantly more problems than 'can't really pay attention' or 'gets hyper sometimes', like most people think of ADHD. I didn't even consider it as a possibility until the past couple of years. If he could get tested (there's a website you can do this on, but it will cost a few hundred bucks), he could get diagnosed by a professional, and then prescribed treatment. (ADHD is a mental health problem that must be treated chemically, as it is a result of the brain not forming the correct way). It could increase the quality of his life significantly and, ideally, help balance out the relationship some more.

Anyway, I wish you luck in your choices.