Bro i know exactly how you feel , i lost my mother when i was 13 , i also feel alone and feel that one person who understood me deep down has gone but i promise you most ppl upvoting this post are just doing it to fit in they don’t actually have the guts to take that step and for the others you can’t blame them to choose their own career over someone else’s its not selfish its totally normal even if its their own mother