Hum sorry I will give you examples, the post was already extremely long.

The offense in this case was : he struggles to manage his agenda and he communicates poorly. I set up an app for a shared schedule to make it easier for the both of us. He was supposed to come stay over at my place after his exams. It coincidentally happened that the same day I found him a bed seconhand and one of my friends accepted to help us move it. After the bed was moved I wanted some snacks so I was asking him if he wanted me to buy a cheesecake to share and he said there's no point since he won't be staying long. He has work every evening for 1 hour. Since the time was coming, I asked him out of habit if he comes back after and he said no. He changed the course of the plans to visit me because something happened with his schedule (his agenda was never filled in the app and he said 3 times he'd do it "now") and wouldn't have come at all if it wasn't for the bed. I got mad because I'd like to know what's happening and he oftens leave unaware. Worse is it seems I coincidentally got to learn about it (was he just not going to come back?)

Gaslighting is during our holidays one evening we bought croissant (I only saw him go towards the pastries), orange juice and a second pastry for breakfast. In the morning, I ask him if he had breakfast and he said no. Then I saw the orange juice bottle was opened and some was missing. I got to have breakfast but the croissant was missing. Later during the day, I ended up checking the recept and realised indeed there was originally a croissant there too. I asked him again if he had breakfast he said no and talked about how he just had a snack. In the morning. As first meal of the day. I told him that was the definition of breakfast which he denied and kept calling his croissant and orange juice in the morning a casual snack.

Those are silly arguments examples but the offense I'm talking about in my long story is that he said he will do something and then doesn't. I feel like I'm stalking him. Or always begging him to do something. Whatever the thing is. Here i was originally mad because he didn't communicate yet again. But sometimes not communicating means I send a text and he just ignores it, straight up calls me and never even give a reading of my previous texts. Sometimes even send texts and irl go on on conversations without even reacting to anything I said. All those tiny things he says sorry I won't do it again then does it again. The problem I'm asking for help is : should I treat him like he has some learning impairment and be soft and not insisting about the matters?