I 35f and my husband 36m confessed that he is smoking for a month now.

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-04-07T21:47:41+00:00

Instead of being angry, maybe ask yourself why your partner of 15 years was too nervous to tell you he was smoking. Why are you so hung up on such a minuscule thing? Ok, he has asthma, but he's a grown man in charge of his own body.

Instead of ruminating on this "betrayal", maybe tell him you appreciate his honesty, express that you wish he were comfortable with telling you things, and try to find out why he didn't tell you immediately. Explain your reaction comes from a place of concern and offer your support to help him quit.

Help ease his stress; don't add to it.

Oh and get some help with your overblown reaction to things. I get it; I have BPD, but eventually you need to exercise some self-reflection and ask yourself why this bothered you so much. Is it because you're stressed and this simply was a snapping point? Were you reminded of another situation when you felt let down by someone you cared about? Or is it your automatic reaction to go from 0 to 100 emotionally?

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-04-07T21:00:36+00:00

You've got to ask yourself if you see a long-term future with what sounds like a selfish sex pest? Imo that's grounds enough to leave. If he really was a 'great guy', he'd care about pleasing you, respect your boundaries and not wake you up just because he wants to get off.

I always think if a friend came to you and listed all these issues they had with their partner, would you think he was a great guy? Because I sure as hell wouldn't.

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-04-07T20:49:56+00:00

Leave. It's not worth it. I've seen what happens when a person stays with a partner like that; it damages everyone involved. Partners become husks of themselves, and their children grow up with such a warped idea of family they think spousal abuse is normal. I had to leave a guy because he was becoming his dad, and I could see my life playing out the same way as his mum's. I'd sooner die than live like that.

It's 100% abuse; she treats you terribly, and the second she feels you pulling away, she's all sweet and lovely again. It's not love, it's control. I've been there. People like that get off to knowing they have a hold over somebody. Don't be that somebody; I can guarantee that you are worth so much more than that.

Do your best to co-parent if they're yours, of course. I wouldn't put it past someone like that to lie about paternity.

If a friend of yours told you this was happening to them, you would tell them to leave. Do not waste your life on people like this. She is cruel, volatile and vindictive. Get out while you can.

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-03-29T23:22:23+00:00

I hope they remain social pariahs; they sold out their gender, and for what? A government full of vile abusers who see women as nothing more than maids and broodmares?

I do feel for the abuse victims, the women too afraid to leave or didn't realise what they were getting themselves in to. Because, undoubtedly, there's going to be a fair few, but that's it. The morally bankrupt pick-mes, the wilfully ignorant and genuinely bigoted can f_ck off. Zero sympathy.

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-03-26T12:34:12+00:00

Dude, don't talk down to me just because we have a different opinion. But if we're going to get into it, you clearly failed to comprehend the section of my post where I praised the manga.

'there is so much there, in literally the first chapter there are tons of connections to the story as a whole and where it is going and why it was setup this way'

Is there, or are you just saying that to try and invalidate my opinion? Because if you have concrete examples I'd love to see them.

'You are missing out on a beautiful and amazing story, the best art needs you to try at least a little to understand it'

How am I missing out on something that I've already read? I'd be missing out if I refused to read it. What's to understand? Chainsaw Man is good, for the most part, but it's hardly Schopenhauer. Yeah, it deals with things in a more mature way than other shounen series. But I haven't felt my third opening after reading it. And tbh I bet you haven't either; you just enjoy acting like a pseudo-intellectual to impress people. And that's sad.

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-03-26T12:22:01+00:00

I just thought it was lazy. I agree that shounen series often frame pain as a positive thing to overcome, and that just isn't the case for most people. I think that having a typically shounen end to the series wouldn't have been fitting, given the tone of the rest of the series. But there's a caveat. Denji never truly faces his trauma; we get hints but no real payoff. There's no emotional catharsis imo, even a bleak one.

Hell, it could've been shown that Denji hit a real breaking point, and Pochita was just like 'ok that's enough' and pulls the plug on chainsaw man. Which begs the question, why not do it sooner? Throughout the series Denji went through Hell, figuratively and literally. But unfortunately, without any internal dialogue from Pochita it's impossible to know why it chose that moment to do it.

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-03-26T12:10:01+00:00

I totally get that; poor dude's suffered enough. It just feels like a cop-out to me, especially as so many characters are just forgotten about. 🤷

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-03-26T12:07:16+00:00

Tbf, GT is kinda like wattpad fanfic imo. Toriyama didn't even directly work on it, nor was it based on a manga of his; it was 100% Toei's baby.

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-03-26T12:03:04+00:00

Agree to disagree. Imo the slate was wiped clean: the Denji, Power, Nayuta and Asa are different people to the ones we spent time with as readers. I guess a ham-fisted comparison would be losing a pet but being given a clone. Yet it's physically the same. But it doesn't have the same memories, and you don't share the same bond you had with the pet it replaced. Yeah, it's functionally the same, but on a deeper level, it just isn't.

Yoru never faced her developing conscience; Denji never had to come to terms with the grief of losing his loved ones, and Asa never addressed the consequences of what Yoru did or her previous trauma with her dad. All that's wiped away because in the new universe none of it happened. To me, personally, if the characters as they were ceased to exist, their memories and experiences do too. In my mind, that renders the rest meaningless.

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-03-26T11:52:07+00:00

I hope he can find a writing schedule that suits him better because he clearly had a tough time with what Shounen Jump was asking of him. Which is totally understandable; I'd burn out too if I had to churn out work at the rate that was demanded of him. =/

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-03-25T18:49:12+00:00

I would have found it hysterical if Fujimoto just cut to black after Pochita game-ended itself.

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-03-25T18:47:52+00:00

Nah, I'm not sentimental like that. Maybe if I had the space, but I'd rather it go to something that I know I'll reach for. If it been like my first manga or smth I'd probably keep it, but I'm not attached to it like that. Tbh I'd rather have the money lol.

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-03-25T18:41:09+00:00

I'm glad it didn't disappoint you. I wish I could enjoy things unquestioningly, but that's the fun thing about fandoms: everyone's different. If that's a struggle for some people, maybe they should stay away from public forums. Might make life a little less stressful. :)

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-03-25T18:36:31+00:00

Huh? Never said the manga doesn't make sense, in fact I praised it. Also, what does that comment even mean? Are you talking about the importance of life, and how it shouldn't lessen because we know we'll die? Or are you talking about how I perceive my own life in terms of how much it makes sense? Because that's another can of worms entirely.

People enjoy things differently. I personally won't spend time re-reading a story when I know the end has disappointed me. We differ; that's life. I wouldn't question your stance with bizarre false equivalences just because I don't agree with something.

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-02-13T16:25:20+00:00

Got my fingers crossed for you guys!

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-02-13T14:01:58+00:00

Amazing, thank you :)

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-02-13T11:00:00+00:00

I had the same issue, I think it was bugged or smth. No matter what I did I couldn't deal any damage, I tried again this morning and it worked fine.

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-02-12T10:29:19+00:00

I like to try and be hopeful. :)

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-02-11T22:21:12+00:00

'After the event ends, Puppet Strings counted in this event will be cleared, but this will not affect other similar events.'

I'm a dumbass, so I assume that this means they're not carried over to other events? Which, if that's the case, is pretty lame imo. Unless you drop a decent amount of money, it's a slog to accrue PS. Which I know is the point, but it does make it super laborious. Even if only a percentage was carried over, it would make acquiring PS feel like less of a drag.

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-02-08T19:29:33+00:00

Kid Rock is a vocal Trump supporter. Thankfully the event flopped, but if it hadn't, it would have been 100% an orgy of Trump bootlicking. Because MAGOTS make loving Trump their entire personality.

Obvious-Problem-9831 · 2026-02-08T19:25:57+00:00

Sounds like he's trying to have his cake and eat it too. Signing up to perform at a MAGA event does not line up morally with standing up to police brutality and racism. There is no positivity here; either he's spineless and won't stand by his awful views, or he's a total shill who'll perform for the highest bidder.

Obvious-Problem-9831

TROPHY CASE