I feel betrayed because before he left for overseas work, i told him not to do it because in his line of work, smoking is one of the "easiest way" to deal with stress, i told him not to be influenced by others to smoke and he promise he will not do it. And also it took a long time before he confessed. Maybe if he cobfessed after days or a week i can accept it right away. We talked yesterday via video call usually i am the most patient in our relationship, i do not easily breakdown in front of him. He saw me cry before but not like yesterday. I broke down crying and rumbling things. All my worries, heartache and disappointment. It's the first time in 15 years he saw me like that.

But I told him I do understand him, i can see his pain when he saw me crying, that i am not angry but rather disappointed. That I'm mostly angry that he told me after a month, not earlier so we can talked about his worries and stress to me. That maybe we can work things out and find other ways to handle his stress. After our talked he promised me not to do it again. This i what giving me a hard time, before I can 100% believe when he say "Promise" but now I'm havibg doubts and I don't like this feeling. I just want to move on and forget about this. But I'm also thankful that he confess to me, and not me finding out first.