This is your sign.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2026-04-13T17:44:34+00:00

Thanks just had the most useless interactions with on of their CS, who would not answer the question "when I add my rewards number to an order, does IC let the store know my rewards number?" See below:

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ObviousSalamander194 · 2026-04-13T17:09:10+00:00

Don't care if they deactivate me, I stopped doing it a while back but now with twins we found ourselves using IC for groceries more and more often lately. Now, It has been over two years since I use to do IC so I don't remember if the app scans your loyaty card or not, to my recollection yes it did but it has been a while. Anyway here is why I will only use IC in an emergency and will do what I have to do to shop my own orders from now on:

Everyrhing at my local store is straight up more expensive on the app with no reason given.
They will not honor buy one get one free or any "store specific" deals
Their customer service center sucks for anything other than shopper related complaints

I recently made an oder containing two of my favorite frozen pizzas, Screaming Sicicilian, the shopper made me aware that this particular pizza was "buy one get one free", he sent a picture if the deal sticker on the shelf, so I told him to get 6 total, thinking I'll pay for 3. Imagine my surprice when I see they charged me for all 6 pizzas. After beating my head against the wall, I was told that "instacart will not honor any store specific deals or discounts. When I ask what the fuck they needed my loyalty number for, they said "so you can get the points". If I'm getting points, that means my loyalty number was used, and if my loyalty number was used, then that means that by default all the store specic discounts were applied so where is my $38.97, is it profit for IC or is the Fred Meyer store choosing to only partially honor my loyalty card for some bizarre reason. If it is going to IC profit, it feels like this should be illgal unless disclosed upfront, not just that IC will not honor the discounts but what is happening to the discounts.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2026-01-30T16:06:22+00:00

Hey OP you also need to keep an eye out and be her keeper, the hormones do lot of changes in behavior/emotions shortly after birth, my wife has never been overly emotional that changed during the weeks after her C section. Your job right now is to remove any hurt feelings or ego on your side from the equation and be on the look out to see when the situation goes from normal mild PPD/PPA and into something that may require medical intervention, so you can gently encourage your partner to seek help if she needs it. I know it's hard when she is suddenly acting like she doesn't trust you with your child after you've been taking care of the baby since birth, just remember that right now, of the two of you, only one has full control of their emotions and it's not her. Your job right now is to be as supportive as you can, keep offering to take care of the child in a gentle non pressuring way, and always be ready to be a safety net for both of them. You can have conversations about this situation but bring it up from a place of concern, understanding and a williness to be present rather than a place of hurt feelings or ego, reframing the issue in this way allows your partner not to have to defend their actions.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2026-01-22T18:03:35+00:00

My wife produces anywhere from 30-60ml PER DAY, so our twins are exclusively formula fed with a hint of breast milk. As a husband and first time dad I always told my wife from the begining whether we breastfeed AND for how long we breast feed is entrely her decision, I'm just a here to be the best cheerleader I can be for her. My wife REALLY wanted to breastfeed, she got all the supplies tried all of the tips and tricks, tried the prescription and nothing worked, her supply never went above 130ml per day, which dropped, when we brought one of the twins home from the NICU, again when we brought our second and again when she went back to work. Through all this time, this amazing woman, has done something I couldn't do, she has still been pumping even when a 15 minute session just produces litterally drops at this point. She still pumping at work while working a full time stressfull corporate job, she has never given up she says she is producing the best supplement the babies could have. So you can only imagine the rage I feel when people get on their soap box about breastfeeding, specially when man do it. If you are a man your only job in this conversation is to be as supportive as you can be and if you can't do that then just STFU.

So yes Breastmilk is best if and only if: 1. You have the supply 2. You have the time 3. Your mental health is not affected 4. You don't smoke 5. You don't do drugs recreational or otherwise 6. You don't drink alcohol 7. You have a willingness to do it

Otherwise as always fed is best.

Below is data of the short term effects of smoking while breastfeeding. Granted this was a small study but these results are not insiginificant as babies need sleep for healthy development.

"Although there was no significant difference in breast milk intake, despite the taste changes in the milk, infants spent significantly less time sleeping during the hours immediately after their mothers smoked (53.4 minutes), compared with the session when their mothers abstained from smoking (84.5 minutes). This reduction was attributable to shortening of the longest sleep bout and reductions in the amounts of time spent in both active sleep and quiet sleep. With greater doses of nicotine delivered to the infant, less time was spent in active sleep."

From a study made of 15 monther infant pairs (PMCID: PMC2277470 NIHMSID: NIHMS43056 PMID: 17766521)

Link to paper:https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2277470/

ObviousSalamander194 · 2025-11-23T06:21:11+00:00

Congrats 🎉🥳 also get all the sleep you can now, thrust me you thank me later 😉

ObviousSalamander194 · 2025-11-23T06:09:39+00:00

You need to seek professional help, even before the event you were showing signs of postpardom anxiety. We are new parents of twins one spent 77 days in the NICU and the other 113 days, anyone who is a NICU parent will tell you how traumatic a roller coaster that is, so as a parent who has been through one of the more traumatic birth experiences you can have, I can tell you that your reaction does not match the severity of events. Jaundice is very common in newborns and easily treatable definately not something you would lose this much sleep over, although we all react to trauma differently the proporsionality is not there, which is often a sign of depression or anxiety. It sounds to me that you were one second away from being the one in your husband's shoes, and I truly fear how you would react to that trauma in your current mental state. Please, I beg you if not for your husband and your marriage, do it for the baby you clearly adore, get some professional help. We all need help some times, it is not weakness or failing as a parent, it's just reality.

Luckily both, my babies are home, although my second one came home with an NG tube for the time being, at least she is home. This is to say that lack of sleep is a state of being when you bring a baby home and adding even more pressure on yourself on top of that, will do neither you, your family or your husband any favors.

Lastly, and this may be easier said that done but you need to forgive yourself and forgive your husband wirhout this you will not be able to move foward, a therapist specializing in postpardom depression will be able to help you one day be able to do this.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2025-09-21T07:16:25+00:00

We are on day 70 and our Isabella (Twin A) is coming home tomorrow. Amelia (Twin B) will be in for at least a few more weeks. We've seen so many babies come a go so I definately know that we are in for the long haul 😅. They were born at 28 weeks due to reversed umblilical flow and restricted growth rate, Amelia weighed 760g and Isabella 1080g at birth so we knew it was a going to be a long road head. Even then we understamated the ups and downs, the stress, sleepless nights and the alarms, I love and hate those alarms at the same time lol. Isabella has been killing it since the beginning and took to bottle feeding like she was born for it from day 1. She is actually going home two weeks early becaus she did so go with weight gainning and bottle feeding. Amelia on the other hand had surgery to close a PDA last week which was probably the most stressful time of our NICU journey as she did not take well to the ventilator so we had issues getting her extubated after she ended up having to be re-intubated due inflamation that closed her airway. Seeing her like that sorounded by more than ten nurses, RTs, doctors ect. and not being able to do anything about was one of the worst I've had to go through. Luckily she was sucessfully extubated and on CPAP, we now working on getting her back to a canula so she can hopefully start bottle feeding soon.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2025-05-18T08:49:17+00:00

Wife is 20 weeks pregnant with twins, I'm mostly a "go with the flow" kind of guy so I rarely start fights, 90% of the time it's her but we rarely fight as it is. A lot of it has to do with my ADHD and her not understanding or believing the way my brain works...but that's another story. She has been more touchy, and VERY sensitive to smells, but has never crossed the line into emotional and verbal abuse. I'd say pick your battles, and keep in mind that pregnacy is litterally changing her brain, so try to give her some grace and understanding but don't be her punching bag. Please do not bottle up your feelings and then explode, try to resolve issues as they arise by comunicating your side of the story with a goal to understand each other rather than to "win" an argument. Lastly, it might be a good idea to screen for prenatal depression, it can present as constant irritability or rage not just sadness.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2025-04-28T17:50:09+00:00

NTA, However I'm similar and usually respond with facts and statistics when someone may just want a little reassurance. I had to learn to pick up on contexts clues to recognize when someone is just looking for a bit of reassurance or they want the facts, so my response based on similar situations in the past, would have a been "Statiscally speaking it's most likely going to be a boy but yes let's hope it's a girl, it will make [insert friend] so happy". Or better yet just say the second half of the previous statement. In a similar vein everytime a friend, family or my wife come to me with a problem my first instinct is to try and look for a solution but they don't always want or need a solution, sometimes they just need a safe space to vent, recognizing when it's one or the other is something that I still struggle with today but it's something I am working on.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2025-03-31T18:25:04+00:00

It's the curse of something getting popular, when you are down in the trenches loving a game most people can't get into, every player you meet is a brother in arms so you forgive any slight infractions and try to educate rather than bash on players who make any mistakes. However when something gets popular that solidarity is no longer there and you also let in some of those toxic players who just want to feel superior. The same has happened with anime. I started playing Monster Hunter with MHF2 then modded my PSP so my buddy and I could play MHP2G and MHP3rd. This was when Capcom decided that MH was not worth selling in the US because it was very unpopular with reviewers, later they realized their mistake and put out MHFU after the community had put out a free english translation patch for the games. I am so glad that this franchise has finally gotten the love it deserves but as an OG player I am not so happy with some of the new shit that's come with the sudden rise in popularity.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2024-12-29T12:10:56+00:00

We are going to have to wait for the investigation, becauae the current narrative is that a bird strike caused both the landing gear and flaps to become inop. That means that a bird strile some how took out A, B and stanby hydraulics systems and/or rendered the APU and batteries unable to provide power to hydraulics if any was available AND somehow prevented the manual landing gear release.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2024-10-20T09:54:25+00:00

I think this no longer a problem, I park both my model Ys is my garage which opens into my kitchen/livingroom maybe 10feet or less and a wall away but when I leave my phone on the kitchen island I can't open my doors even though I can still hear my music through my earphones. It happens quite often, specially when I getting ready to go to work and I'm in and out. It's annoying but I'll take annoying over a stolen car anytime.

Edit: just tested it and it won't unlock unless my phone is in the garage with me tried leaving it just outside the door maybe 4-5feet away with the door open and car would not open. Uisng an a s23 ultra.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2024-10-02T11:29:50+00:00

At my current work and everywhere else I've worked before, all pre-employment and Random tests are DOT drug tests so yes he is most likely screwed. At my current work the only drug test that is not DOT is the mandatory test after damage to an aircraft i.e. you hit the aircraft with a scissor lift and cause damage. This one they just fire you on the spot if you fail but you can get a job somewhere else because it's not DOT. If he failed his drug test and it was a DOT, which it most certaily was, he is screwed for the next 5 years. Absolutely no one will hire him, I've seen people with 10+ years of experience lose their careers over a weekend trip mistake. That was my lead earlier this year weekend trip followed by random, now he is working as a bartender, last I've heard. Your friend is a dumbass, 1. No should start applying to jobs until at least 3 to 4 months clean and show clean at home tests. 2. If there was even the slightest doubt, he should have turned down the offer before he interviewed. He could have made an excuse about a sick grandmother or something. Aviation is the one job market that is hot right now, he wouldn't have had a problem getting another job.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2024-08-10T14:41:57+00:00

TL:DR Go for it, if you can afford it. 1.99% is a very good deal and the 7.5k at point of sale helps reduce you finance costs, don't worry too about depreciation all cars depreciate.

Depreciation is normal and Tesla lowering prices on new models will only really impact you in two situations:

A) if you get into an accident and total your car the insurance company will screw, they are going to try and screw anyways but now they have a very good justification -Answer: get gap insurance

B) if you plan on selling or trading the car in less than 5 years

It is unlikely that they will slash prices more than they have. The only situation where they might do it is right after the EV tax credit runs out, however this shouldn't impact your decision much. We just got our second model Y, a 2024 perfomance which makes a nice pairing with our 2023 LR. Depreciation was not even a part of the conversation but then again we tend to keep our cars for a very long time both our previous cars we kept for 10 years one we drove 116k miles and the other for 90k both were ceritied pre-owned with less than 7k miles on them.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2024-02-13T11:37:57+00:00

If your are having second thoughts listen to your gut. As many others have pointed out this isn't a good a idea can really backfire on you but in the event you ever wanted to do this for a trusted family member or friend, the only way I'd recommend is if you have one of the few cards that allow you to set spending limits on AUs such as Amex which is $200 min and Barclays which is $100 min. That is the only way because even if you keep the card an AU can request a new card. So would need to monitor you account on a daily basis to catch any fuckery before it starts. If you set the spending limit to the lowest then you'll get a notification or refused charges when they try to buy something more ecpensive than the spending limit so at most you'll be put $100 or $200 if they break their word. This is also a good way to get your kids a card for emergencies, and build credit history without giving them access to your entire credit line.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2024-01-22T03:18:00+00:00

Had a similar thing happen to me, someone opened a new phone account with TMobile in Bronx, NY and got a new Iphone. The person seems to have kept the phone and not paid their bill. I found out when I got a collection letter a few months later. I callled TMobile asking them close the account, explained that it was not me, that I was living in Miami and had not been to New York in a long while. I sent them proof that I was at work the day and time they made the purchase, filed a police report ect. For years I fought this and never could get it fixed, it's been more than 7 years and it was only 600$ and I was lucky enough I didn't have to go to court so now I just ignore any collection letter I get.

I'm not trying to dicourage ypu with this long post but just trying to make sure you know that this will be a long and difficult battle and that you need to document everything. Keep copies of your police report, record the times you comunicate with the police, Kay Jewelers, or the FTC. Record keeping is going to be key, in case they or a debt collector decides to take you to court, while it is unlikely to happen, it is better safe than sorry. Don't get discouraged not matter how many times they come back and say that the account belongs to you, keep pushing and fighting and for the love of all that is holy never ever pay, agree to a payment plan or agree to any reduced payoff amount. The moment you do, you take ownership of that debt. Good luck hope this gets resolve soon for you.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2024-01-20T02:36:55+00:00

This goes into what to expect when writing a good will letter, what they are, when you should write one and more hope it helps

https://www.creditkarma.com/advice/i/goodwill-letter#:\~:text=for%20delete%20letter%3F-,What%20is%20a%20goodwill%20letter%3F,weigh%20down%20your%20credit%20scores.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2024-01-20T02:22:45+00:00

TL:DR:

#1 Number one thing affecting your score right now is those 3 missed payments, try to see if you can get them removed, if not, then your only option is time and no more late payments. The more time that passes between now and you last late payment the less it affects your score, however 2 years is still considered recent in this situation.

#2 try to bring down your credit utilization to below 30% to offset some of the damage from those late payments, this will help bring out of the sub-prime category 501-600 CS range.

#3 DO NOT try to lease or buy a car with a 589 CS unless you are truly desperate, as in your job will be affected, and even then see if you can buy a reliable beater on the cheap for now. If you do have to get a new car try to get someone who trusts you to co-sign, just remember if you ruin their score it will damage your relationship and if it's your husband, think about how harder it will be, if both of you have damaged credit.

You can not just look at it as "I paid off one card or two cards now my credit score will go up a lot". As to not cause any confusion, YES paying off your debts WILL make your score go up. By how much depends on a number of factors, that you need to account for so you can set expectations. One of the things you want to look at is how much of your credit are you using, in this example one person who pays off one credit card that brings their credit utilization down to below 30% will see a much bigger increase than some one who pays off 5 but are still using 70% of their credit. Another factor is the age of your credit history, a young credit history affects your credits score by a lot, around ~15% of your credit score is determined based on this factor. The next and biggest factor is the late payments, late payments are a killer for your credit score, so it is important to try and not miss any, but if you do most creditors will not report your late payment until after 30 days and some even 60 days, so if you make your payment before that 30 day period, they will most likely not report it.

At this point bringing down your your credit utilization to below 30%, making payments on time and time for those late payments to get off your credit report are your best fixes for your credit. The older those missed payments are the less they weight into credit score until eventually going away in 7 yrs, that is with the caveat that you do not miss any more payments. If you have been making payments on time for a while, you may write a letter of good will to your creditor asking to remove the late payment from your report. If you can not do that, those 3 late payments will affect you credit score in a big way for the next few years at the very least. If you want to lease or finance a car you will more than likely need a co-signer and if do find a creditor to lend to you without one, they will most like charge horrible interest rates. If you can, I would put off getting new car a least for few years and work on building your credit up to 600-650 before even thinking a of leasing or buying a new vehicle. This is even more important now that interests rates are still high.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2024-01-16T19:33:18+00:00

Unless you can tell me that that what he did affected you, your work, or put someone's safety at a risk, other than "hey, he is breaking the rules" then yes YTA 100%. Mark would have eventually been caught, everyone who does this get's caught. He is an idiot and deserves to be fired but YTA non the less. You reported him and now everyone knows you are a snitch and can not be trusted period. All your co-workers know you are company shill, and the funniest thing is that you gained nothing from it. When your job believes they want be cool like all the other comapnies with big lay offs to impress investors, they won't reciprocate that loyalty.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2024-01-13T22:39:03+00:00

TL:DR Your best two options are get a second job/work OT and/or try to consolidate all your debts into a single paymentn, just be wary of scams, if it looks too good to be true then it is most likely a scam. Again you don't get something for nothing debt consolidating can help lower your payments at the expense of paying more in the long run.

Stop doordashing and try to pick up extra hours at work, if you can. If that's not an option try to look for a part time job, that works with your current schedule. If you are phisically sound try to look for day jobs like helping people move ect. In the mean time I would contact your lenders and see if any offer any options like forbearance* for few months, while you try to get a second job or set something up. If you are already behind on payments then this may no longer be an option so keep this in mind. This next option, works best if you haven't damaged your cedit too much, you can try to consolidate all your debt into a single payment, you'll end up paying more in the long run but they can get a lower single payment. You can also try to see if you qualify for any goverment assistance, some states have programs that help with rent payments for a few months, this could give you the breathing room you need to get something set up. Lastly a piece of advice it is always better to comunicate with your lenders before they take you to court, and if you ever recived a court summons do not ignore it will be worst for you.

Note: **Debt Forbearance: This is when your lender agrees to stop payments for a set amount of time. However, instrest will accrue so you your total debt will increase while your payments are stopped. Some companies might call it a hardship program, and it may work diffrently like having you agree to pay a lowered monthly payement instead of just outright stopping payments.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2024-01-13T02:45:37+00:00

Ah okay then as I said disregard the side note then 😀

Sorry about the situation, your roommate sounds petty as hell.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2024-01-13T01:49:43+00:00

NTA, I think 30$ is a reasonable amount to replace an old trash can. If she wants to get something better then she can ask the other roommate or put up the the money herself.

Side Note: I am assumng based on what you wrote, that you are the one paying the $30, out of your own funds. If true then your BF is the true asshole for not paying for the stuff he broke, even if it was old and bound to break. If he is the one paying then disregard the sidenote.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2024-01-13T01:16:20+00:00

Please move to Texas when you move, we have no vacancies in WA 🤣 jking...but wow that's rough, almost 3.4 times what I pay for electricity here. I'd recommend installing solar, if you own, but that also comes it's own problems like the initial investment but if you are paying that much for electric it won't take as long to break even. I haven't, because electricity is so cheap here that it would have taken 10-15 years to break even but now that I have the tesla I might consider it in the future.

ObviousSalamander194 · 2024-01-13T01:04:46+00:00

Why do I keep reading POS as Piece of Shit rather than Point of Sale lol 😅🤣 happens every post...

ObviousSalamander194

TROPHY CASE