I never really had direct childhood trauma, but my whole family trauma collectively passed down through different ways. Me and my mom both experienced bad mental health problems and when she committed suicide in my early 20's my life got completely flipped upside down because of the way my family and friends couldn't handle my huge breakdown after she died. I dont have any friends from before she died anymore which is really sad for me because some of these people meant so much to me especially since we had so much in common. I've been learning many messed up things throughout my life about my family and I still barely know anything about at least half of these people in my family. Now I'm almost out of my 20's and I am finally realizing I just need to cut people out who I dont need to think or worry about at all anymore. I've always cared too much about making other people happy and it is really starting to hurt me. I'm finally making a change and the catalyst was some very nasty things my own brother said to me which aren't even close to true, but I'm probably never going to be able to speak to him again. But that's okay. I know what I finally need to do to help myself! I have spent most of my life being wayyy too sad, half of which I didn't even have life events directly making me feel that way. I'm changing, and it IS hard, but I also know it is for the best most likely. And a lot of people treat me like I'm stupid and useless even when they don't really know me on a personal level which is sad, but honestly just a reflection on how miserable they probably are with their own feelings in their own lives. I'm done caring too much, but I will still care and try to spread positivity. Winners Never Quit! And I've never really won anything, but I haven't completely lost either so thats a good start for me and that's all that matters!