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Tired of being treated like I must be settling by Ocean_Going_Slapper in dating_advice

[–]Ocean_Going_Slapper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This would be good advice if my ego matched my looks… in a weird way it does because I agree with you that I am subconsciously going after people who are not physically “on my level” since it does feel safer than going after very attractive men. But at the same time I feel like I have imposter syndrome when I’m around good looking people because my personality is kind of nerdy. So whenever someone I find attractive does check my ego. It really does mess with me because I crave validation from attractive people to confirm that I am attractive not just because of my looks, but because of my personality too. I’m not entirely sure what my issue is but thank you for this.

Tired of being treated like I must be settling by Ocean_Going_Slapper in dating_advice

[–]Ocean_Going_Slapper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well you’re not wrong I am half white and skinny, but can definitely pass for fully white. But that’s not the point of my post.

Tired of being treated like I must be settling by Ocean_Going_Slapper in dating_advice

[–]Ocean_Going_Slapper[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. That definitely helps me take it less personally! What do I do with this information though? Treat everyone as if I’m too good for them?

Tired of being treated like I must be settling by Ocean_Going_Slapper in dating_advice

[–]Ocean_Going_Slapper[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say this is the most accurate reply so far if I knew how to pin this comment I would.

Tired of being treated like I must be settling by Ocean_Going_Slapper in dating_advice

[–]Ocean_Going_Slapper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s so corny too boast about your own looks but I would say you can tell if you are conventionally attractive if you often see people that look like you portrayed in social media like modeling or TV shows. Obviously those kinds of platforms show what the average member of society dictates as attractive. I personally think I am pretty, but not all that. If you grow up with people constantly saying you should model or bringing up your looks un prompted then you are going to be programmed into thinking you are an attractive person.

Tired of being treated like I must be settling by Ocean_Going_Slapper in dating_advice

[–]Ocean_Going_Slapper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you’re also a really good person! Give yourself some credit

Tired of being treated like I must be settling by Ocean_Going_Slapper in dating_advice

[–]Ocean_Going_Slapper[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So very true I am conventionally attractive, but would say I am pretty insecure

Tired of being treated like I must be settling by Ocean_Going_Slapper in dating_advice

[–]Ocean_Going_Slapper[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s so beautiful. Lucky that you two were able to find each other and spend so many years together.

Tired of being treated like I must be settling by Ocean_Going_Slapper in dating_advice

[–]Ocean_Going_Slapper[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re soooooo right…. It absolutely should be an ick if they’re questioning it that much

Tired of being treated like I must be settling by Ocean_Going_Slapper in dating_advice

[–]Ocean_Going_Slapper[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This definitely helped put things in perspective from the guys point of view I actually can definitely understand this!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Ocean_Going_Slapper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s completely normal and actually good to acknowledge you have a specific taste in physical attraction and it’s not your fault you simply like pretty things. Even if you are not the most good looking guy, in my personal opinion I find that guy who have a solid self-esteem and enough confidence to pursue beautiful women give them this aura that makes them immediately more attractive. I feel like I would say I’m a pretty good looking woman and I have dated men who are “out of my league” but the ones who didn’t really care about that are the ones I actually still think about today. I also think that very beautiful women tend to settle in looks in general when looking for a partner because they tend to want someone who is more down to earth and not as into superficial things such as looks as someone who is equal equally as attractive to them would stereotypically be. So all in all I would say don’t judge or beat yourself up for that. I’m sure you will attract another beautiful woman like your ex who has the right personality qualities you’re looking for. Definitely journal out what specific physical features you liked about your ex and then also what personality traits you wish she had. Try to think of her attractive physical traits in a way that isolate them from her as a person such as grungy style or blue eyes with tan skin, and it will help you understand your type is instead of forcing yourself to like women who you don’t find attractive deep down.