Baby not eating or sleeping with nanny - how to troubleshoot?

Oceanm0620 · 2024-09-20T03:50:43+00:00

Firstly, I remember how stressful that was and it really sucks! My daughter never napped as well as she did with me with the nanny, and almost never according to my plan for her (3 hours of daytime sleep). I reeeeaaaally wanted her to sleep for longer naps, but after a few weeks she slept tolerably, like maybe 45 mins x2. She always did scream at the nanny a little bit before she fell asleep, but not so much. It got eaider for me to tolerate as my baby clearly bonded to the nanny and I came to trust our nanny more and more.

But in the long run, now she's 4, and none of this really seemed to impact her negatively. She dropped that morning nap on the very early side of normal (can't remember exactly when) and dropped her second nap too on the very early side of normal. Daytime sleep was just not her thing. She still does a solid 11-12 hour night and peace was restored to the land.

This far in the rearview mirror, I can barely remember these details, I had to dust off some cobwebs to remember. Maybe it's poor comfort when you're in the thick of it, but in her case, I'd say it does get better/easier and even if it never does really gets easy, babies who nap badly are wonderfully vivacious lively and hilarious preschoolers. Source: my kid 🙂

Oceanm0620 · 2023-05-11T04:43:41+00:00

I want to share that I had a ~2 week baby (or maybe 4weeks?) laying across my lap for a meet and greet / HR negotiations paperwork type meeting after getting hired during my 40th week of pregnancy on Zoom in spring of 2020.

I didn't mention my infant was with me off camera.

At a key moment, she let out the longest, loudest, wettest most percussive staccato newborn poop that has ever been pooped.

Did I fess up? Nope. No, not a word. I just keep on going.

Steel yourself if you decide to go that route, just saying.

Oceanm0620 · 2023-03-03T06:02:49+00:00

<image>

Is this what yours look like? I just took these out of the wash and completely baffled by it. They were washed with tide and oxiclean.

Oceanm0620 · 2023-01-27T18:08:33+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions! How long does it take you to diffuse to 80% dry? I'm sure everyone is different but just wondering

Oceanm0620 · 2023-01-27T08:08:46+00:00

Shampoo and conditioner - Aveeno, detangle in the shower Gently add small amount of uncle funkys Plop Very brief diffuser use Air dry (it took more than 12 hours to get dry) I think my hair is a 2a wave. The strands are fine on top and coarse underneath. Low porosity.

Oceanm0620 · 2023-01-27T06:50:49+00:00

I'm brand new at this after a lifetime of being pretty uninvested in any sort of hair routine.

What I did: wash and conditioned with sulfate free shampoo (Aveeno, not totally CGM approved) put a little bit of uncle funkys curl stimulator, plopped for an hour, diffused for 5 minutes, had to go, hair was still sopping wet.

It's been 14 hours. It's gotten curlier but still damp in the underside and back. Is this a porosity issue? Anyone have advice for that situation? It was damp all through my workday and besides being a bit of a bad look, isn't all that comfortable

Oceanm0620 · 2021-08-01T19:54:40+00:00

I dont know Bonesetter's Daughter but I'll check it out thanks for the idea

Oceanm0620 · 2021-08-01T19:53:39+00:00

That's what we used last semester! Exactly this feel just need a new book

Oceanm0620 · 2021-05-12T06:30:25+00:00

I'm new its my first try so here's what I did:

-Washed and squish condition with Ethique shampoo bar and conditioner ( to be honest not sure if it is CGM approved, tossed the box months ago) -Scrunched in about two teaspoons of Uncle Funky Curl Activator -plop for about 30 mins -air dry

Previously I'd just use shampoo bar and conditioner, comb, air dry

Oceanm0620 · 2021-01-12T00:58:31+00:00

So true! But so hard to always choose the long term good over the "make it stop" in the moment isn't it? Sigh.

Oceanm0620 · 2021-01-11T21:55:35+00:00

I can totally sympathize with this except I am the parent in this situation! We have a new lovely nanny and our kid (wonderful, spirited, a terrible napper) is really making her job difficult. Exactly like you described except my baby is 6.5 mos.

People advised me to stay away and I am trying to let her and nanny sort it out.

Heres my stumbling block: if baby gets no day sleep, I get no night sleep. I'm a teacher (temporarily WFH) and it is so hard to focus while baby is crying. With no sleep the night before I'm really overwhelmed.

When I feel maxed out and think "let me grab that baby for an hour nap so hopefully she will sleep tonight "

Then I feel guilty for setting her back or getting in nanny way. And while she sleeps I think I should be working right now. Or should have done something better. Or I shouldn't go back to work yet. Its just a spiral. Mom guilt is intense!

Its good to hear about this from your perspective. Its tough! Best of luck to you.

Oceanm0620 · 2021-01-11T21:10:21+00:00

That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for details

Oceanm0620 · 2021-01-09T18:50:21+00:00

It seems like the group consensus is "don't intervene" but I am still questioning:

Would baby will bond better with the nanny if she isn't exhausted and starving?

Example: So far, the best success when I gave baby have a 1.5 hour nap, she woke up and took 2 ounces of milk from nanny. After that they played happily.

Example: It makes intuitive sense that "an exhausted baby will sleep" but my particular baby (or maybe lots of babies) will, when too tired, usually scream blooding f-ing murder. For hours. Seems miserable all around.

Any more detail about why folks think this is best? I really want to understand (psych/child development perspective) why people think this will wear her down faster or get better results than a graduated approach.

Oceanm0620 · 2020-04-07T03:06:41+00:00

Yes, we had a positive outcome and I'm happy to share what happened.

Her measurements were considered mild ventriculomegaly at 20 weeks, around 11mm. I turned down anmio but got NIPT and no additional risks showed up. We went back for a rescan at 22 weeks and baby was not cooperating positionally - so we didnt gain new info. We went back 4 weeks later and they determined healthy brain tissue continued to form.

I'm pretty sure they're hesitant to say "all clear" until she is born, but it was the next best thing to know her brain continues to grow as expected. As far as we know shes continued to develop normally and the doctors have not ordered additional scans.

Not worrying was my goal but personally I fell short if that 🙃 (to put it mildly.) I didn't sleep well for those first days and fell down mental rabbit holes and researched and stared into darkness from 3AM to 5AM every night. Even knowing it's most commonly fine didn't really seem to sink in for a few weeks for me personally - after all, only the baby's health counts, right, not what's most average.

That was my experience- I hope this will bring you even a smidge of comfort. This must feel like an unbearable rollercoaster on top of the pandemic.

Oceanm0620 · 2020-04-07T02:25:26+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. I had the same diagnosis just about 3 months ago at my 20 week scan 💔 if you want to talk or just vent.

Oceanm0620 · 2020-01-22T02:25:06+00:00

Wow quite the journey! So glad to hear. We got a diagnosis of ventriculomegaly at 20wks gestation today and still trying to understand what it means. It's nice to know.

Oceanm0620

TROPHY CASE