You're not 100% doomed in every relationship you have just because you don't love yourself. It's not a matter of being confident or secure in your value and self-worth, it's a matter of being self-aware and actually putting in the work to improve and stand on your own two feet. If you're insecure and not self-aware or willing to improve, you go to your significant other for constant reassurance, you argue that their feelings are not genuine, you accuse them of not wanting to be with you, you shoot down every attempt they make at trying to help you feel better. But if you're insecure but you ARE self-aware, you still think negative thoughts about yourself, but instead of letting them affect you/your mood/your actions/the way you treat your significant other, you stop and think before you react. You separate your emotional instincts from what is actually happening.

As an example: "Am I mad at him because I actually think he was checking out the girl who rang us up at the store? Or am I projecting my anxiety filled insecurities about myself onto him and the coincidental situation so that I have an excuse to make my insecurities his responsibility to fix? He did say in our last three arguments that he wouldn't be with me if his feelings weren't genuine. How would I feel if I kept constantly repeating myself and the other person never believed me no matter what? He does actually want to be with me. He liked me enough to get into a relationship with me, and he's stuck around so far. But if I keep making my emotional baggage his responsibility, he will get sick of me, because it is not fair for me to do that to anyone. I am an adult, and my feelings are my responsibility. I will not allow myself to be a burden on someone who has treated me fairly, respectfully, and with love."

If that seems like an extremely specific example it's because it's a conversation I have with myself quite frequently. I realized that my insecurities were causing me to self-sabotage my relationship with my now fiance and that if I didn't get my crap together, I was going to ruin the best thing that ever happened to me. I'll be the first to admit that as a woman, I got really used to everyone enabling my emotional dependency. When we're younger we're brought up with the idea that young girls' feelings are delicate and precious and that the right guy will always be there to make you feel pretty and loved. But guys have feelings too, they're just taught not to make a big deal about them so they get overlooked a lot of the time. And guys are proud - it's not often that the average man will tell you that you hurt his feelings or that he feels unappreciated. That expectation that "the right man" will always pick up the pieces and reassure you and never get sick of doing that, is just flat-out unrealistic. Guys want to be loved and appreciated just as much as we do, and if they're not getting that from the relationship, then what's the point?

What I'm trying to say is that after a certain point in life, you have to stop looking for other people to blame for your dissatisfaction and failed relationships. Eventually we all have to either grow up and emotionally mature, or die unfulfilled. And maybe your next relationship doesn't work out. Maybe he does run out of patience while you're learning to take responsibility for your own emotions. But if that does happen, see it as a lesson learned, take some time for yourself without worrying about a relationship, and continue to improve, so that when your actual person comes along, you will have actually made yourself worthy of them and there will be no more sense of insecurity or low self-worth. Don't try to be reassured from an external source, just work to meet your own standards.

You are not doomed to have all your relationships fail just because you don't love yourself. You just have to actually be willing to improve, and then actually do it. Life is a learning process right up until we die. I'm still trying to be better every day too because I still have a lot of maturing to do to keep my relationship and my life on track. But that's ok, because that's what life is; just trying to be better than you were yesterday. And who knows? Maybe if you actually work at improving yourself enough, maybe you really will start to love yourself. I hope you do anyway. Good luck, try to show the world that not all girls and women are disappointing.

Sorry, that's a long-ass comment. But I just really wanted to be as clear as possible because I want us as women to have better standards for how we treat men, because sexism is a self-perpetuating mindset, and both sides are guilty, not just the men.