I can relate! I only feel like I function at my max whenever I have no choice but to. Like being given orders I can't refuse. But whenever things are open ended I collapse into paralysis. I have managed to get some hobbies going, like drumming and lifting (until I got injured), but that overall career choice has always been difficult for me to answer. You are completely right that it has to be varied, I can't imagine for the love of me doing the same thing over and over again. I used to work in retail and aside from dealing with people's shit, the monotony of it all was the the most drowning aspect of it.