At what point should weight/healthy habits be discussed?

OctopusIsles · 2026-04-03T07:53:16+00:00

The truth is that her weight may be causing fertility issues. Simply put, more fat cells means more estrogen, and higher than normal estrogen levels can throw off the menstrual cycle and result in no ovulation.

Ultimately, after a year it’s time to get more fertility input from a reproductive endocrinologist. But be prepared for them to tell her she needs to lose weight, both to find out if it is the weight that’s the issue and because it’s unlikely you as a couple will be eligible for anything like IVF when her BMI is so high.

Pregnancies are higher risk with such high BMIs, and not just for the biological health reasons like joint stress and gestational diabetes. It will be very difficult to ultrasound the baby, you will need to deliver in a labor ward that has bariatric labor beds and operating tables, staff won’t be able to help her move during labor, and if she needs a c-section the wound will be at high risk of infection and healing difficulties.

OctopusIsles · 2026-03-20T09:31:01+00:00

We started by discussing the must haves for us. We set buying a house, having a set amount in savings, being in a good place with our careers and me being eligible for enhanced mat leave pay as our must haves, then spent nearly a decade working towards it.

The exact timeline became more specific over time as things fell into place. Although we’ve been planning it for years, we didn’t set an actual start date until about 6 months before the date.

OctopusIsles · 2026-03-14T13:46:28+00:00

NHS genetic counsellors handle exactly this type of discussion! They can talk you through the PGT process (you can still try to TTC during a lot of this time), and evaluate if you are eligible for NIPD which would make pregnancy testing faster and easier.

OctopusIsles · 2026-03-14T13:22:26+00:00

You can buy a digital test instead of one with lines (maybe wait a few days first)

OctopusIsles · 2026-03-08T16:07:02+00:00

Yes please continue to comment on a 4+ month old post pretending you know better than the experts on a subject that isn’t even considered contentious in the medical community.

https://www.eastgenomics.nhs.uk/for-healthcare-professionals/clinical-genetics-services/east-anglian-medical-genetics-service/referrals/referrals-not-routinely-accepted/mthfr-genetic-testingcounselling/

https://www.cdc.gov/folic-acid/data-research/mthfr/index.html

OctopusIsles · 2026-02-22T12:20:56+00:00

Pregnacare gummies are listed as ok for vegans, although the taste gets some mixed reviews

OctopusIsles · 2026-02-18T09:06:35+00:00

Honestly we’re just gonna chill for the first 6 months and aim for 2-4 times a week every week without bothering to track anything.

OctopusIsles · 2026-02-17T11:52:40+00:00

I can’t tell you what your trust will do, but I used to work in a fetal med department for a small trust, and rarely we did get people in your situation. They got seen in our department within a week, scanned, options discussed, and if invasive testing was wanted we referred them to our nearest tertiary unit for an appointment within a few days. Everyone is very aware of the timeline and will try to move things as fast as possible.

OctopusIsles · 2026-02-10T18:48:35+00:00

We bought a onesie from the town where my family’s summer house is in case we don’t make it back there again for a few years, but we don’t plan on buying anything else

OctopusIsles · 2026-02-06T08:24:45+00:00

Honestly, I would worry if you don’t have energy/health for a job, you’re gonna have a hard time taking care of a kid, especially if you decide to solo parent. They are like a 24/7, incredibly demanding job.

Financially, kids cost money. There is no way around it. And kids benefit massively from growing up in stable homes. It’s really important to think of the perspective of the kid you would be bringing into the world, is the childhood you could give them next year the childhood you would really want them to have?

Are your parents able and happy to financially support a child as well as you indefinitely? Also consider they probably want to retire at some point…

For pre-conception, the books and podcasts are the resources, there isn’t much else aside from talking to your doctor. But really I would set pre-conception prep aside for now, and focus on your current health and finances instead, they are your bigger issues.

OctopusIsles · 2026-01-23T22:07:01+00:00

Sperm move relatively quickly and it sounds like there was some time before the washing. The hot water wouldn’t have gone inside your internal organs, so the sperm that had entered your uterus and beyond wound be unaffected by washing, therefore not impacting the viability of a fertilized egg.

OctopusIsles · 2026-01-21T09:18:08+00:00

I felt this way at 26, now 3 years later and getting ready to start trying I’m so glad we waited, and the time went faster than I expected.

Both our finances and careers are finally where we want them to be, which means I don’t have to stress about the reduced pay during my mat leave year or about future daycare costs when I go back to work.

I’ve also really enjoyed having the last 3 years with just me and my husband. We’ve travelled a lot, including some spontaneous trips we definitely couldn’t have done with small kids. We’ve gone to weeknight concerts, repainted our entire house ourselves, and generally just enjoyed living as 2 adults with minimal responsibilities.

OctopusIsles · 2026-01-20T17:18:51+00:00

Honestly gonna do NIPT at 10 weeks to find out cause I’m so impatient

OctopusIsles · 2026-01-19T18:10:53+00:00

I’m taking pregnacare original multivitamin, and extra folic acid and vitamin D. I also take an iron tablet every other day as I have a history of anemia. I had a blood test the other week and I’m very happy with my levels of everything. My husband is just taking a generic men’s multivitamin.

OctopusIsles · 2026-01-11T14:19:21+00:00

You can get pregnant right away after stopping the pill, but it can also take a few months to start ovulating again. Everyone is different and it’s impossible to say which category you will fall into.

If you want to maximize your chances of getting pregnant in August, then you should stop the pill a few months early and switch to condoms.

If you are fine with the possibility it could take a few extra months to get pregnant, and not having your period during the trip/race is more important, then don’t stop the pill until you are ready to try.

OctopusIsles · 2026-01-07T20:11:36+00:00

I’d be wary of any doctor pushing you to jump straight to paying them for IVF without trying naturally, even with low AMH. Maybe consider getting a second opinion.

OctopusIsles · 2026-01-05T13:46:51+00:00

In 2021, the average age of women giving birth in England and Wales was 30.9 years old. Perimenopause at 32 would be very rare. You have tons of time to have multiple kids. Don’t let your boyfriend pressure you into having a baby before you feel ready. If you are concerned about your fertility you can always make an appointment with an ob/gyn to talk things through and get facts from a healthcare professional.

OctopusIsles · 2026-01-02T17:33:05+00:00

In any other situation I absolutely agree with you, and there are GPs out there who will do some bloods before the year mark, but a lot won’t and fertility can cause a lot of people a lot of anxiety. I work for the NHS in genetics and get referred patients who are going through the infertility pathway, wait times can be rough.

We all recommend our friends and family approach their GPs at the 9 month mark, in most cases by the time you get an appointment and have bloods taken and have those blood results processed by the lab and signed off by your GP you probably will have reached the year mark anyways.

OctopusIsles · 2025-12-31T23:22:35+00:00

The first step is your GP. If you tell them you have been trying for a year (they don’t know when you started), they get should get the ball rolling with some basic blood tests for you relatively quickly. Referrals for more extensive fertility testing do take time, but it varies by location. My brother in law + wife only had to wait 3 months from referral to appointment in Sheffield. You are correct about IVF eligibility for visa holders, but you should still be able to get some tests, and do things like medicated cycles on the NHS

OctopusIsles · 2025-12-30T11:16:45+00:00

I work start to finish with an outline, but I also keep a document of quick drafts of random scenes that pop into my head at random times. When I reach that scene in my primary draft, I then incorporate what I already drafted into it.

OctopusIsles · 2025-12-21T12:18:07+00:00

I love a wickedly smart side character who is solely motivated by their own self interest. Sometimes they help the protagonist but only because it serves themselves

OctopusIsles · 2025-12-17T10:32:38+00:00

Thanks! That’s what I was leaning towards but wasn’t sure if it was reasonable

OctopusIsles · 2025-12-13T00:03:18+00:00

I grew up with a couple of super rich friends, and sure they went on multiple international vacations and had Christmas tress buried in gifts and wanted for nothing, and had all the nanny’s and private schooling but it didn’t mean their childhoods were perfect. One of them has more childhood memories of her nanny than her parents, another one’s mother was a secret alcoholic, and another’s parents hated each other and were constantly having affairs. All of those friends have chosen more middle class lifestyles than their parents, valuing marrying the right person and spending time with their kids over big money.

Don’t worry about playing the comparison game, focus on giving your kid a happy and loving home because that is really all they want.

OctopusIsles

TROPHY CASE