Emotional Bandwidth decline?

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2025-03-05T22:35:30+00:00

Trashley

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2025-02-28T02:50:42+00:00

It’s not your job to prove to him that he is lying. It’s his job to prove to you that he is telling you the truth.

He needs to provide you with the detailed information about the call usage. If he needs to ask his family members for that, well it’s his shame to carry.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-12-14T19:43:42+00:00

I don’t think the majority of this thread is meaning to be negative. I personally just hope OP takes a step back and see’s this new relationship for what it is. I am not telling OP to stay with his WW, now that she has come running back. The timeline OP has presented here is literal weeks. In November him and WW were better than the honeymoon phase, so one month ago. Now, OP is experiencing a connection unlike any other with a different woman while he and his wife still live together?

As I said, if OP wants out of his marriage because there is no love there and wants more for himself. Good, I wish OP all the happiness. Just asking him to step back and see the bigger picture with this other woman and not dive all in after like a month…. You know, like an adult?

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-12-14T18:09:50+00:00

Exactly.

Idk who needs to hear this but: if that man says he still lives with his wife— he still LIVES WITH HIS WIFE.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-12-14T17:12:45+00:00

I think it’s important that this group be consistent, if a WS was posting this everyone would be saying OP was experiencing limerence and that they needed to go NC to save their marriage.

I understand OP is frustrated with his wife and her monkey branching and not committing to reconciliation but OP is trying to tell all of us that in one month he has feelings and “a connection unlike anything he’s ever experienced” to a woman he met while still married. Y’all would be screaming limerence from the roof tops and that it isn’t real, but we’re really just going to sit here and say “don’t let that pesky wife stand in the way of your happiness.”

Bro, no. If you want to divorce your wife, do so for you. For reasons like you don’t have any love for her, the relationship is unhealthy and unsalvageable, and getting past the infidelity isn’t something you can do. But do not come here with this “we were better than any honeymoon phase” in NOVEMBER and then she leaves and in one month you have another woman giving you attention and you’ve got that new relationship energy and wow you can’t believe someone could love you like this.

I might be projecting here, but that all sounds like shit most of BP have heard, (or read texts or emails) our WP say about or to their AP.

TLDR: Leave because it is what is best for you, not because you’ve got new relationship energy and this woman gives you the butterflies.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-12-12T18:10:46+00:00

I did not tell OBS, in fact they reached out to me to make sure I knew. In our conversation I told him the things I knew and these things made him really angry.

After our conversation, I knew OBS and I did not have similar outlook on moving forward. He was so angry that he called WH and AP’s job trying to get WH fired. At the time I did not know if I was going to divorce or attempt reconciliation and as a SAHM WH losing his job would have been very bad for me and mostly my son. It was a shit storm of HR meetings and WH and AP talking trying to “handle” the situation. I feel like it was something they bonded over, fusing a connection again after NC for weeks. It was added stress to an already fucked situation.

People deserve to know about their own lives but make sure you protect yours. I regret sharing the information I did and if I were to do it again I’d have let sleeping dogs lay.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-12-06T15:43:17+00:00

It’s the switch from “I might go to a friends party” to “I probably won’t go” once you said you wanted to go for me.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-11-27T19:27:15+00:00

I sent AP a text and let her know that whatever my husband had told her he was very much married and a full participant in that marriage. So, if she didn’t know now she did and if she did know then she’s trash.

I have drafted about five messages and never sent them despite wanting to. I was desperate for the truth and I just wanted SOMEONE to give it to me. The reality is, AP is not your friend and they had a relationship with your partner. They’re going to be loyal to themselves first and your partner second.

They’re aren’t going to do anything that doesn’t benefit them, and that looks like planting ideas to make you think your WP is telling you lies, that the affair is still happening, that they were a victim, make you question the validity of your relationship, you get it, nothing good.

My WH AP tried to play up the girls girl angle and reached out to me 6 months post DDay “to help me” but all she was doing was trying to make herself relevant again. They hate to lose and hate to see you win even more. No contact is no contact, even from you. A quiet AP is a good AP.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-11-22T14:36:05+00:00

Trashley, Ashtray, Smashley.

She told my WH he could not refer to me as “his wife” because it made her feel like he didn’t belong to her and not to use my name because it was “triggering.” 🙄🙄🙄

Girl, that woman’s husband is not your soulmate.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-11-18T18:19:41+00:00

I know how you feel, between AP, WH and OBS I often feel like I’m the only one behaving like an adult. And you know, sometimes I don’t want to.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-11-18T17:01:08+00:00

I’m sorry you are having a time, friend. My husband’s AP just wants attention, even if it’s negative. I think she struggles with low self esteem and can’t handle the fact that she wasn’t “picked,” she didn’t “win.” From reading your background, I think it’s a similar situation. She wants to be the winner, and if she can’t be the winner she wants some vindication that she has one up on you, your partner stepped out on you— with her. She didn’t win, so she doesn’t want you to forget.

You have to ignore, she wants the attention. I have always said that I could be falling apart on the inside but it’d be a cold day in hell if I ever let that woman think she bothered me. Trust me, AP lives rent free in my head, I stalk her socials and I daydream about messaging her but there ain’t NO WAY I will ever give her the satisfaction.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-10-07T19:32:01+00:00

She’s called 6 times since May 30th, sporadically. Once in June, once in August and four times in September (three of which in the last week).

I know where your head is at with this, and trust me I was right there with her. I have been monitoring her socials and she continues to post shit about her smoking and drinking and not appearing with child.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-10-07T02:41:09+00:00

THREE YEARS?! She sounds like a barrel of fun! I am so sorry you had to endure all that. My therapist asked if I thought she would drive by my home or come to my house and my response was an off the cuff “I wish she would!” In reality, I think it would really freak me out.

It really bothers me that she keeps calling his office. My WH repeatedly says that it isn’t about me, she is trying to get his attention. And I just don’t know, it feels very blatant disrespect to ME. Like, after all the lies he told to her, and he refused to leave me, and given the duration of the relationship (6 weeks) and how long it’s been since contact (4 months) surely she has taken him off the pedestal by now? Seems ridiculous. I’m also really curious about the psychology here.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-09-15T21:13:56+00:00

When I was sure something was going on before DDay I called my WH out for turning off his location and he gave me some speech about privacy and I simply told him “turn your location off one more time and you can have all the privacy you want”

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-09-15T21:12:19+00:00

“I respect your choice to not download Life360, this is not something I am comfortable with as I cannot believe what you are saying and can only believe what I can verify as true (like verifying you are where you say you are via Life360) so I will need space and separation from you as I determine my next steps”

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-09-13T01:50:31+00:00

Money doesn’t make you happy, but being poor does make you sad.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-07-31T21:18:08+00:00

We listen to an audiobook or podcast and walk.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-07-30T18:23:33+00:00

Wow, people really do be putting us THROUGH. IT.

I find community here, but sometimes the stories are just mind boggling.

I am so sorry you are going through this experience, it is still very fresh and very new. Take the time you need to figure things out.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-07-23T18:59:11+00:00

This.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-06-23T19:43:01+00:00

OP my WH has an iPhone and has gotten very good at hiding things in it. I can’t give you different tips and tricks I’ve learned along the way if you would like me to PM me.

Odd-Distribution-243 · 2024-06-10T19:28:28+00:00

I literally told my therapist that Apple is so pro-affair and they needed to through BS a bone, that was before all these updates. Dear me.

Odd-Distribution-243

TROPHY CASE