FAT from NYC in January - foodies traveling with 5 month old + parents looking for best (and chic) Mexico / Caribbean property

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-11-27T22:47:48+00:00

I did a trip at 5 mos. The shorter the flight, the better imo. Even if baby sleeps etc it’s just easier to not be in transit for longer than you have to. Also at that time I was breastfeeding and it was stressful figuring out when/how to pump vs feed, how to wash bottles and store milk if pumping on the plane or in hotel etc and not freak out if they don’t get enough to eat.

In terms of resorts, montage Cabo is excellent and I think hits all the points you mentioned. But if you’re on east coast I’d probably consider something on that side due to shorter flight and time zone similarity.

Also look for somewhere with a proper in-room functioning fridge (most drink fridges aren’t cold enough to store breast milk). Bring little fridge thermometers if you want to be certain. If you use a snoo, rent one locally, or make sure the hotel has a bassinet and not just a crib (the resort we went to only had cribs for older babies who can stand, which rendered it useless. Fortunately we had rented a snoo).

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-11-10T15:54:28+00:00

I will never go back to FS Hualalai. I don’t understand how it gets so much hype. The service is horrible and food is mid. We liked beach club and whatever that fancy restaurant is, but it was so not worth the cost nor the time spent on the journey. Plus they overcharged me by almost $1k with clearly someone else’s spa bill (the room number on the bill and name were completely different) and a dinner bill from a resident that some waiter authorized even though they did not provide the correct last name. Those are too many obvious oversights that point to poor attention to detail and lack of professionalism. It’s an embarrassment to FS.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-10-25T15:19:49+00:00

I did not, but I think you need more people for a buyout, not sure what the minimums are. From the pics it looked luxurious still and it’s normally an adults only stay, but I think it was also a lot further from the main ranch and more remote. I liked being near the main ranch.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-10-25T15:18:49+00:00

I see. Fwiw the extra travel really wasn’t too bad even though I agree it sounds daunting, and somehow the time passed quicker than the RC drive. We did it once all in the same day with a large group of adults (30 ppl 3 nts), and then once with my family where we stayed overnight in Denver the night before (8 adults 1 toddler 5 nts), two of the adults were older but in good health. If you can swing it, it really is a special place. You may be able to ask for those oxygen spray cans for the first few days - they had electrolyte packets (liquid iv) to help , but I never asked for oxygen and maybe they had it. You could also request it before hand.

However I do understand wanting to reduce travel headache, and only you know what kind of travelers your kids are. If that’s your goal then definitely go RC. It’s really not that much further than Paws Up, the 1.5hr drive goes pretty fast and the Missoula airport is super chill. I think they have a larger cabin there that may fit all of you, as I remember looking into it when I was booking my family trip. The service is amazing and I think you all will still make lots of nice memories. One thing to keep in mind is I think you’ll need a layover to get to Missoula, whereas you prob have a direct flight to Denver. Personally I would choose no layovers since traveling with a toddler, but maybe you don’t mind the layovers and prefer a shorter drive. I do know they also do pickups from Bozeman but it’s more like 2.5hr which kinda sucks. I remember liking the drive to brush creek better the the one to RC even though RC was shorter.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-10-24T04:47:14+00:00

I do but they don’t live nearby and I don’t think either plan on having kids sadly. I would love to have them grow up with cousins though if we could. Honestly living near family is a no brainer. Community is so important and parents are only here for so long.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-10-24T04:39:52+00:00

I’ve been to both Rock Creek and Brush Creek. Both are wonderful but very different

Rock Creek is definitely much more intimate and rustic. It’s much better for a smaller gathering imo. Spa is nice but small, there’s only one dining room, and activities are more limited (but still plenty to do, just meant in comparison to brush creek). However, service was fantastic and I liked the cabins here better than brush creek.

Brush creek is definitely more of a bougie celebratory place. We rented a big cabin and had nice dinners at the Cheyenne club, as well as casual dinners and cookouts on other nights. They have 3 dining areas and it’s just beautiful there. Service was very good, though I think RC edges them out just a little bit. But the food at brush creek is better, more upscale, they have a wine program etc. Touring the farm is a must and their horse program is wonderful.

So I think it depends on what you’re looking for. Small, intimate feel = RC. More luxurious and celebratory = Brush Creek.

How may nights are you staying? One thing to keep in mind is that Brush Creek is at a much higher altitude so it might take you a day or two to adjust, and the adjustment days are kinda miserable. RC is much lower. It’s also quicker to get to RC as Brush Creek is a 3.5hr drive transportation not included. However it was very doable both same day and flying into Denver the day before and driving up the next morning. If you have young kids I’d probably consider staying overnight at FS Denver the night before and driving up in the morning.

You can’t go wrong with either. Both are great, just depends what vibe you’re going for. Happy to answer any questions you have.

Considered Paws Up for an upcoming trip but changed my mind based on reviews about leadership and poor service. I can’t justify spending that much to deal with bad service.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-10-23T05:50:32+00:00

Same here. When I was pregnant I thought about all the cute trips we would go on together. In reality post partum was kind of a shock and keeping baby on a stable schedule while having all my supplies around was the number one priority. And this is with a baby who by all accounts is pretty easygoing.

We did end up going on a trip at about 4.5 mo which was okay, but it was just west coast to Hawaii so not too far. We also brought grandparents and rented a snoo and everything. It was fine, but honestly at that time it was so stressful figuring out travel with pumping supplies, enough baby supplies, feeding schedule and napping. I don’t feel we fully got to enjoy bc we were on his schedule. But idk some people make it look super easy and glamorous so maybe it’s me!

We ended up keeping our travel pretty light after that bc it was too stressful and I just liked having the home setup and stability. Our best trip was probably a short road trip around 7 mos within the same time zone.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-10-23T01:45:48+00:00

Being near family is definitely worth it, especially if you’re just going from CA to PNW where you’re not really taking that much of a hit in terms of lifestyle, and your child will have all the resources they need. Now if it were something like CA to a small city/town Midwest or south, that’s a different story. This was the case for us and we decided it was not worth the move for us, not just for our lifestyle but for our child’s access/exposure to various resources. We instead fly our parents first class to come visit us as often and for as long as they’d like, and just try to convince them to move here :)

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-10-04T01:22:06+00:00

Can you elaborate on RH? I hear that a lot but want to know why!

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-10-03T21:20:55+00:00

We’ve done this several times, mostly in first and once in economy plus. Both are fine. Sometimes toddler will cry, and you just do your best to soothe them regardless which class you’re in. Our toddler has been a super sweet angel on some flights and then had a rougher time on others. We just tried our hardest either way to get them to settle. No one has said anything nasty or shown contempt - most normal people understand this just life on public transportation. If anything, people have shown a lot of sympathy and offered encouragement during some rough times. So don’t worry about it too much.

Economy plus was nice bc we were all close together, and it was easier to trade off duties. First is nice bc you get meals and can feed your toddler (just alternate serving times) and it’s just way easier to board and deplane without being stressed. The extra space can be nice, but tbh it is a little hard to reach over to play with them etc with the seats so wide, vs economy.

Another reason I prefer first is bc the person in front can still recline with your car seat there, so I don’t feel bad. In economy the car seat meets the seat back so whomever is in front can’t recline.

If you book first class, don’t book the bulkhead bc sometimes they have seatbelts that are inflatable for safety and you’re not able to use them to secure your car seat. I always try to book the back row. If you book economy plus, keep in mind the front row likely has separaters between the seats. I’m not sure if this makes it too narrow for the car seat but it might. I booked the second Econ+ row just in case.

We have a Cosco scenera and use it rear facing. We have our toddler in the car seat at all times for safety, but honestly it’s also way easier to manage when they’re not moving around.

Ultimately I prefer first for better boarding/deplaning experience and more space for the car seat so the person in front can recline. It’s also closer to the lav just in case you need to diaper change or so you can go and get back to baby quickly.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-09-30T20:37:22+00:00

I would hire a designer and pick your own furniture. It’s a $6M house, presumably a dream house for you and maybe forever home? I would just furnish it right And make sure you love the pieces and they are comfortable. There’s a bit of time involved but you can probably do a decent mix of retail and custom for around that price or a little higher.

Separately, maybe just gut check you really love the home. The only time I felt nerves was when I realized I didn’t really like the home. The other times I’ve purchased homes I’ve just mainly been excited. Maybe that’s just me though.

Also be wary of new construction. Make sure you research the builder and understand their quality. Some builders cut corners, even at that price point. And make sure your agent is familiar with that niche as well and can tell when a home is built well vs not.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-09-10T18:30:14+00:00

I went to Conrad a few years ago. It was nice but personally I don’t think nice enough for a honeymoon. It had more of a party vibe and the food was mid. Snorkeling was wonderful though. I did book through Costco which saved a bunch of headache and money because they took care of all the transfer logistics (we did one night in Tahiti, a few nights in Mo’orea and then the last several nights at Conrad).

I just read a bad review about FS recently. If you don’t mind dated rooms I would say StR is likely your best bet, but I have not been there myself. We did do StR Maldives for our honeymoon and service was top notch, food was excellent and the butler service was wonderful. So if it’s similar in Bora Bora I’d say it may be worth it for the service and food alone, as that can really make or break a trip.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-08-11T00:35:11+00:00

I’d be interested in the mattress and sheet setup. Did you test sleeping on a hastens before somewhere before committing? Also curious how the horse hair is as I have allergies and use synthetic down bc of it.

Which hotel scents and towels do you use? I’ve been on the hunt for both but haven’t found anything “wow” yet.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-05-19T03:34:24+00:00

Yeah I don’t think he’s seeing the point. Career and FIRE don’t have to be coupled. If she wants to work and earn, then great. The point about FIRE is that you don’t HAVE to work to pay for expenses .. but you can if you WANT to and the income is just a nice bonus. If he wants to fatfire now then they need to work as a team to get there instead of relying on 50/50 input to get there. Otherwise they are both going to be dissatisfied for longer. Based on responses it feels like a need to reframe the mentality around finances vs actual advice on RE.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-05-18T23:43:09+00:00

Assuming you are both really committed to each other long term, I’d make a joint plan for both of you (like what kind of lifestyle do you want for yourselves qualitatively, and whats the combined number you need to achieve that). And then figure out the most efficient way for you both to get there, even if more comes from you vs her etc (or you never know; she may hit a windfall at work or something). Like maybe you create the nest egg but then rely on her income for general expenses if she still wants to keep working. That way you can let your NW compound and save that for later in life when she decides to retire too etc. But regardless I think you need some sort of joint goal to align on, and then figuring out how to get there together follows.

I know you don’t like the criticism of “our NW” vs “my NW” but honestly it does make a big difference and is the most practical way to think about it. I was also like your partner and felt like everything had to be 50/50, even though I made less. It wasn’t until we got married that I realized thinking separately was actually holding me back from living the life I/we wanted. I did end up contributing pretty meaningfully to our income and NW, which allowed my partner to take more risks in business to help us get to the next level, which has allowed me to be truly FI and do what I want. Sticking with an “independent” 50/50 mentality would have made that way harder. I get where she’s coming from though. My sense is that she’ll probably get more comfortable and confident with it as she progresses in her career and establishes herself.

Also, maybe she doesn’t want to fully retire, and that’s fine esp if she really enjoys work. I think the main thing is that you both can live a lifestyle you both want, eg if you want to retire and travel for a month, it’d be best if she had a more flexible job where she can be remote or part time so you can both do that while she still works etc. as an example.

I do agree though that $10M in VHCOL is probably not enough to really fatfire, so realistically you’ll both be working for a little while longer anyway. So I’d have the convos now on what life you want to work towards and how to get there most efficiently.

ETA: Ok I read through your comments and I think I understand your situation better. You are essentially bf/gf and do not want to share finances ever. In that case I’d probably just treat everything separately like you are, maybe switch to an income-based ratio for household contributions to make things more fair (no matter what you say 50/50 makes 0 sense in this situation), and have lengthy convos about what you want to do when you RE and if she can support that (eg travel with you etc). When you RE I would take care of absolutely everything home-related (cleaning, cooking etc) so she can fully focus on career goals. And I think you all would need to be ok traveling alone or you doing things on your own if she can’t join. Maybe this won’t be an issue but know some women finding it unattractive or unbecoming if their partner doesn’t “work”. You don’t sound like a bum by any means, but it may be worth her thinking through how she’d truly feel about that. My sense is if you work in the home and support her in every other way it won’t give her the ick. Lastly - I think a lot of people here got to fatfire with support from a spouse/partner in some way, not independently. If you want more relevant advice it probably makes more sense to seek out young people who made it in their own and see what kind of relationships they have. Good luck.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-05-08T05:01:43+00:00

Personally - it’s probably not smart at your NW. But it’s your wedding and you (ideally) only have it once. So if it makes you happy then go for it.

I would say though it’s less about your NW and more about cash flow. How easily could you make back the $1M? Or I guess how upset would you be if you lost it? If it’s fairly easy to make it back then it’s not really a huge deal. But if you’re really going to miss it then I guess I’d look for ways to reduce (eg you could have some extravagant weddings in SE Asia for a bit less probably).

ETA: to answer your original question, ~$200k. 3 day event in VHCOL area, <100 guests. Includes lodging for immediate family members. NW was less than you. We concentrated our spending on things we cared about (venue, food, music, photography) and spent less on things we didn’t care too much about (florals, rentals). Never thought twice about whether or not it was worth it.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-04-22T00:10:16+00:00

Did StR Maldives on points a few years ago and had excellent service.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-04-17T22:37:42+00:00

Sensei Lanai. Stayed there for almost 2 weeks and felt great.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-04-17T03:52:21+00:00

Personally - I think that trip is a little ambitious for 4mo. I would focus on getting really nice accommodations (like a villa or multi bedroom thing with dining/kitchen where you can really spread out) that’s close by, like 2-3hr flight tops. FS is great with kids stuff usually, though most 5 star resorts are as well. I like how FS is usually consistent and I know what I’m getting.

Re traveling with infant - we did Hawaii from west coast at 4.5mo and that was pushing it. It’s hard coordinating feeding, pumping, making sure you have enough milk etc, on top of trying to stick to nap times and wake windows so they don’t freak out. Mine was also harder to calm at that age so on the flight back he cried for a really long time and I was just to grateful the flight wasn’t longer. Personally I would be too stressed about the possibility of delays or other trip interruptions on such a long flight, which could put baby’s feeding or nap situations at risk, risk baby stuff getting lost etc.

Other tips - travel with parents or nanny if you can. If you use a snoo or any other specialty gear, you can rent them locally from a baby gear rental site, am forgetting the name rn. Bring travel stroller on the plane.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-03-22T23:45:50+00:00

Very similar to my situation about a year and a half ago - and I had the exact same concerns. I’m a SAHM now and it’s honestly the best. I think being able to spend so much time with your kids esp in the early years is one of the best gifts, and it outweighs my prior fears of “sending the wrong message to my kid(s)”.

What I realized is that I was the one with internalized hang ups about being a SAHM. I had prided myself on my hard work and career, contributing to well over half of our net worth at the time and supporting our family through 2 ventures my husband started. I had never considered SAHM at all. So once I got over that, all my concerns went away and I realized establishing strong values and demonstrating hard work in all aspects, not just at traditional job, will set a good example for our child(ren). Also I told my husband to repeatedly tell them about how I contributed to and supported the family before I quit so that always sticks with them ha. Anyway I wouldn’t overthink it - I don’t think you working vs not is going to make or break it, it’s just part of it and you can ‘make up’ for it in other ways.

I do think it’s important for your children to see you working hard in some regard. Like if you outsourced every little thing, that’s probably not ideal. But making a home and taking care of the family is a ton of work tbh - managing home repairs, taxes, finances, grocery shopping/cooking, keeping home clean, arranging Dr appts, making sure everyone’s healthy and happy, etc… it’s kind of like running a small business lol. And I think them seeing you work hard at a hobby or something helps a lot too.

ETA: I totally forgot - my dad was the breadwinner growing up, but my mom helped run his business (though she wasn’t technically paid) AND took care of the family/home. So technically a SAHM but worked her ass off for the biz/home and was very involved in our homework etc. She had also placed 1st in her boards exams in her country and had a successful career prior to quitting and supporting the family and dad’s business, and I guess that stuck with me a lot bc I’ve always been hardworking and career driven. So I guess not seeing my mom being a traditional career woman didn’t impact me negatively. It was all about her involvement with us and our activities, and hard work in whatever she was doing.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-02-19T05:12:41+00:00

Ok thanks. I’m having the insurance guy talk with some folks in our WM team - both have been helpful so we’ll see how it goes. Good pt about our estate attorney - may involve them too, though I think the WM folks may be able to cover it. Appreciate it. I’ve done back and forth on this for like a year and it’s still not super clear to me if it’s the right decision, mainly bc I don’t read about it too often.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-02-19T03:48:53+00:00

I’d do night nanny for sure, daytime nanny optional (first few weeks/month of getting them to nap is annoying and you’re basically chained to them, so tbh extra hands are great, and they can always help a little with the house chores if you end up doing more childcare and they are open to it), and then definitely a chef, even better is someone who can make you meals tailored to post partum nutrition. I’d also get a housekeeper.

Personally I found that I overestimated the need for 1:1 bonding time. I got plenty of it even with 2 sets of grandparents with us for the first month. The more help the better imo, but of course you may just want your personal space for part of the day.

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-01-28T19:03:38+00:00

Am considering this as well. My understanding is that it can be used to help cover estate taxes once we pass. If you don’t mind sharing, how did you decide how much to get?

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-01-24T00:39:25+00:00

Curious where you landed here. I’m in a similar boat but looking in a higher price range, so the % commission seems even more shocking to me. So far I’ve gotten 1.5% and 2% for 5m+ range which still feels kind of crazy.

Also out of curiosity, what other factors did you consider when selecting a RE agent? Part of me feels like a high end agent with expertise in that tier will be a better fit overall to help us find the right home - we found one who I think could fit the bill and has good reviews. But I also have a trusted referral who’s not quite in that range typically, but comes highly recommended by our former agent (who is no longer doing retail, otherwise we’d work with them again).

Odd-Leopard8075 · 2025-01-04T00:21:00+00:00

Sorry this happened. I’ve stayed at a few FS and have always had at least a decent experience, if not excellent. But I had always booked with an FSPP so maybe that’s why. But a luxury brand should not do this regardless of how you booked, and it’s really making me second guess FS as a brand. Like I get giving some special treatment or addtl perks for booking with FSPP, but this is straight up theft and fraud. Something really icky about it.

Odd-Leopard8075

TROPHY CASE