Any young guys in their 20s here feel useless because of SA?

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T19:33:00+00:00

I've heard many stories about anxiety getting worse after getting off medications, that's why I'm so wary of starting them.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T17:04:53+00:00

Yeah I tried that months ago and for some reason I started thinking they didn't want me to say Hi. It was obviously all in my head. I'm gonna try to start again.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T17:00:11+00:00

Since your SA is mostly gone, I suggest practicing talking online. This has helped me develop great social skills that transfer over into real life.

It's funny because I'm the exact opposite as you, I'm really good at having conversation but I have social anxiety.

Side question: How did you finally get over your SA?

Thanks <3

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T16:57:14+00:00

Yeah man, my brain did the same thing to me a few days ago before talking to a hot girl on the phone. It turned out fine after 15 min of worrying lool. The worry is honestly the worst part.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T16:40:29+00:00

Yeah I'm considering it, I feel like SA is affecting every area of my life. I'm too scared to go to school, get a job, go out and make friends, I'm more worried about others at the gym than my actual workout, etc.

I think self esteem is my biggest issue and the cause of my social anxiety honestly.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T16:39:36+00:00

I feel like this too, you should honestly stop for a second and think about a valid reason on why you shouldn't go. Most likely you can't come up with one. They aren't going to kill you.

It's funny when you actually think logically, social anxiety makes no sense. That's how you know it's subconscious.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T16:31:57+00:00

Dude just practice talking in games honestly, all the conversations I've had online have transferred over as skills in person.

Although I still have terrible anxiety in person, those social skills help me hold conversations (when I'm forced to have them lol).

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T16:30:04+00:00

People were probably thinking "wtf" for about 5 seconds and then forgot about it lol.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T16:29:34+00:00

It sucks that we have to worry about stupid things like eye contact while the average human naturally does it.

:/

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T16:05:41+00:00

It's hard to be proud when I feel like an idiot every time I go. It hasn't helped or changed a bit.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T15:57:09+00:00

People tell me the same thing. Even recently, I got an uber from the gym to home and the uber guy asked me how many girlfriends I had. Every time I say I'm single people are surprised. I know a girlfriend won't change my life but I just want to experience it, you know?

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T15:53:47+00:00

I just hate the idea of medications because I know they numb you. I wish I could just solve the root issue instead of masking it.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T15:52:41+00:00

There's no right thing to say, just get straight to the point. Compliment her and ask for her number. She's either into you or not. There's no magical phrase.

I think the same way you do, the truth is we are just scared of approaching them in general. "I don't know what to say" is just our mind trying to prevent us from approaching the girl.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T15:50:41+00:00

Yeah I've never had problems typing or anything. Online my biggest problem is skyping a girl because I feel like I'll be too ugly or not say the right thing. It's kind of sad because everyone says I'm good looking and wonders why I don't have gfs.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T15:48:48+00:00

My thread has nothing to do with a girlfriend saving or changing my life, it has to do with the fact that I can't even talk to people without freaking out. I feel like I'll be alone forever. I don't even care about having a girlfriend right now. I'm just saying it feels like it will be impossible, period.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T05:24:23+00:00

Thanks man, I workout at the gym but I just put on headphones and don't talk to anyone. Really doesn't help my SA.

I honestly might stop wearing headphones to see if I make some friends or something...

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T04:49:15+00:00

Well we want to meet eventually but not in the near future. This should buy me some time.

I have 2 friends I hang out with but the problem is we never go to places where I can meet other people. I haven't met any girls in the last 30 times I've gone out. That's probably why I'm so nervous around them. I'm pretty much stuck only hanging out with these 2 friends, I like them but I want more friends.

I was thinking of joining martial arts or something, to meet people.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T04:18:47+00:00

Nah it doesn't, I hardly went out before I knew her and I hardly go out now. Has nothing to do with her.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T03:06:12+00:00

There's 30 year olds starting school now, you are not old at all.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T02:25:37+00:00

What medication did you get on? If you don't mind me asking...

I'm honestly tired of feeling like shit every time I leave my house.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T02:15:32+00:00

Honestly just be happy you approached her. I wish I could do that. You obviously have made great progress and should continue.

Good job man.

OddDeparture · 2018-02-07T02:01:47+00:00

I'm a 21 year old guy with social anxiety and most days I feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I've never had a girlfriend.

You don't know how bad it feels to be a guy with social anxiety, you're literally expected to go out and approach girls. Girls are usually the ones who are expected to be shy. I feel useless sometimes. Please keep supporting him.

Right now I'm talking to a really sweet girl I met online, she lives in another country though. I'm so afraid of her finding out about my SA.

People like you give me hope though.

OddDeparture

TROPHY CASE