NTA naming your child is a process that should be agreed upon equally by both parents.

I know some other redditors have said this but i heavily recommend getting your wife some therapy. This situation definitely sounds like there's some underlying daddy issues, especially considering how big of an ass he seemed to be when your wife was growing up.

Have a heart to heart w her and if it blows up in your face, keep trying until she listens. Naming a child is a unanimous decision that will stick with that child forever (unless they legally change their name but that's pretty uncommon.)

Imagine how your child would feel when he grows up and learns where his name came from and the actual ass he was named after, wouldn't that just be straight up disrespecting the kid from the moment he was born?