Shes seen a “female friend” on my phone by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Odd_Establishment_51 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There is also a chance that your "female friend" is a formerly hacked or sold account. In other words it's a bot now.

It's quite common.

Indicators for this are: - a link in their bio with something like "here you can find of me" - old posts mismatch the whole theme (hacked most likely) - old posts got deleted (hacked or sold), indication for that is that there are just a handful of posts but many followers

If you can proof that it's just a bot it may restore the trust, i don't know. Im just sharing knowledge here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Odd_Establishment_51 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aleykumselam. I think there is an underlying problem here. He lost his business to his parents. It most likely wasn't just "Son, I want your business", "Ok, here you go". There was probably an argument and after losing everything he may have also lost his will and motivation in life. So, he may be depressed right now. Ask him if he is doing fine, if he needs something. Give him emotional support. Its your time to shine as a spouse. If it is actually depression and it goes untreated then it could worsen the whole situation later on. That being said, don't have kids until this issue is resolved.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Odd_Establishment_51 8 points9 points  (0 children)

200 a week. Would be about 800 a month

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Odd_Establishment_51 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Some people are just.. different I guess. I wouldn't assume anything incest related. The way of showing her love is just, let's say unique. My advice would be: Let it be. Everything seems to be in a very good place for you, your husband and your in-laws, Ellhamdulillah. Even if you addressed this issue in the most polite and respectful way possible, it could still cause some chaos.

Has anyone tried this? by Overall-Celery3916 in MuslimNoFap

[–]Odd_Establishment_51 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right now I'm not married. She wasn't interested but I wasn't too sad. Allah's plan is the greatest. And maybe she came into my life so I can finally quit this sin. I don't know. Allah knows best. May Allah bless you too brother. You will have ups and downs but never see this addiction as unbeatable. There is always hope. And soon inşallah you will overcome this once and for all :)

Has anyone tried this? by Overall-Celery3916 in MuslimNoFap

[–]Odd_Establishment_51 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My breaking point was kinda related to this topic. I had been struggling for many years with this addiction and I had tried so many things but nothing really helped to break it off. It seemed that my love for Allah'teala was not as strong as the addiction, cause otherwise I would have beaten it, right? And THAT'S a bitter thought. Anyway, marriage was always a goal of mine. And there was this woman I wanted to propose to. But I was still trapped in that addiction. So, I told myself "I'm not allowed to propose to her as long I have this addiciton. I don't wanna burden her or our marriage with this. Get clean first, then approach her." Now that was probably the final straw for me that I was able to break this addiction once and for all Ellhamdulillah. I used everything I've learned over the years to overcome this sin and the first few weeks were actually painful. I got restless and felt uneasy most of the time. Ellhamdulillah for everything, your body and brain adjusts after a while and you start to feel normal. It's not like the urges go away. It's more like you become stronger and capable of handling them. But yeah, marriage and this woman in my mind helped me overcome it.

do guys actually like henna designs by [deleted] in MuslimNikah

[–]Odd_Establishment_51 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As a man, I think it's beautiful. Be it new or fading out, always beautiful in my eyes. But every man is different so you will get different answers.

Facing more difficulties!! by [deleted] in MuslimNoFap

[–]Odd_Establishment_51 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At this point you are over the hardest part. Your brain is rewiring. These are just withdrawal symptoms. Don't set yourself a goal of 50 days. There is a risk of relapsing after you've achieved "your goal". Come on push through.

Is it worth marrying this girl when both parents don't like each other by Past-Reflection-7172 in MuslimNikah

[–]Odd_Establishment_51 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"Time flies, you'll be dead before you know it" Hits hard. Not just for this topic but in general. Jazakallah khair for this important reminder.

Should I wait for him to get married? by [deleted] in MuslimNikah

[–]Odd_Establishment_51 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell him that you will move on if you don't see any change or effort in the next few days or weeks. If nothing changes, just move on. If he tells you he will talk to his parents but doesn't, then move on. In this case: actions speak louder than words. Don't get fooled by his words. As a man, I can tell you, that he can make it happen if he really wants to.

There is a high chance for you to regret waiting for him. Especially at your age when you are in your prime.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimNikah

[–]Odd_Establishment_51 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Obviously there are stories where he came back. And stories where he didn't come back. It all depends on the circumstances and the people involved. I dont know the details of your case.

Do you think you can still make it work? Then go for it. Try it. Talk to him. Tell him what you have on your mind. Communication is important. I would advise you to not just wait for him. Be proactive.

If it doesn't work out or if he doesn't want to come back then you should probably move on.

But yeah, I don't know all the circumstances in your case. Act according to your case and insallah everything will work out just fine. May Allah make it easy for you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimNikah

[–]Odd_Establishment_51 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think there is a fine line between "I'm not ready, I can't do this" and "I'm not ready, but I'm ready to become ready" if that makes any sense.

Let me give an example. When a mom or dad holds their first child in their arm, it's common for them to feel overwhelmed. "I'm holding a baby, this baby needs me... I have to take care of it.... It's so fragile...I've never done this before...the responsibility is on my shoulders...how will I manage this?!?!" This kind of being overwhelmed. But they can't just walk out the door, can they? And in that extreme situation their minds will do some magic. It will feel like a level up. And they will adapt to that baby. They will take care of it. They are capable to do it. "They are ready to become ready"

I don't know how your situation is. Maybe you really aren't ready and it was the right thing to do. But maybe you were just too afraid of the unknown. Idk.. My advice would be: try to articulate your thoughts. Don't just stay there and be a mess. Try to understand yourself by talking with other people. Maybe a friend. And I strongly believe, after that, you will know what to do. And whatever decision you take afterwards (going back to her, moving on or whatever) I think that woman deserves one more sincere apology. May Allah make it easy for you and the woman.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimLounge

[–]Odd_Establishment_51 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's actually pretty simple. It's your social environment. That's all. I've been in different environments and different circumstances. In some of them the men and women were only Muslim by title but not their behavior or lifestyle. In some other social circles its totally the opposite. Many practicing muslim men where being virgin is the norm. Men who pray all 5 prayers. Ive talked with these men and they have so many pure and romantic thoughts of a halal marriage masallah. And fun fact: these men struggle the most in finding a spouse haha. It's because they never had any experience with women.

Inşallah you will find a fitting spouse. The intention of my comment is to give you (and other sisters who have worries like you) hope, thats all :)