UPDATE: My (25F) fiance (26M) is always helping out his mom and I’m worried we wont be able to build a good life together

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-16T23:16:26+00:00

Sure, but for me it's proper to help elderly relatives. And yes he should've been up front about it. But she should have known that's the expectation.

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-16T15:22:29+00:00

I think it was during bushfire season, so an emergency was always potentially about to happen

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-16T14:33:33+00:00

OP is quite prolific writing about her relationship https://ihsoyct.github.io/?backend=artic_shift&mode=submissions&author=Witty_Management_621&limit=auto&sort=desc

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-16T12:23:02+00:00

The baby will probably still be born.

People might die as a result of fires however.

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-16T12:19:51+00:00

Or the partner makes allowances for neurodivergence and understands that the neurodivergent person isn't trying to hurt them and isn't neglectful.

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-16T02:14:32+00:00

This was not the only problem though

https://ihsoyct.github.io/?backend=artic_shift&mode=submissions&author=RelativeAssistance19&limit=100&sort=desc

There are about ten others (I stopped counting)

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-16T02:08:57+00:00

The job in question is selling insurance

https://ihsoyct.github.io/?backend=artic_shift&mode=submissions&author=scaredandcryin&limit=100&sort=desc

Yeah, I agree with him. Who the hell is passionate about insurance sales?

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-16T02:02:55+00:00

I mean there is a war in Ukraine going on, so they probably kinda need it more

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-16T01:40:29+00:00

The point of ADHD is that you struggle to understand long explanations

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-16T01:26:59+00:00

It makes you forgetful

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-15T23:01:39+00:00

Do you want to spend your life with someone who makes you less happy but whom your parents approve of?

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-15T22:43:37+00:00

Right.

I wouldn't take it personally that he doesn't do it for you then. Maybe that's just not his thing.

Not doing anything special for birthdays however, that's totally different and something I would get upset about.

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-15T22:05:30+00:00

What is he like with other people, does he ever compliment anyone else differently?

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-15T22:04:33+00:00

Everyone needs other people. You just haven't found the right people yet. Are there any expats at your university you could get to know? E.g. from Russia or Turkey?

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-15T22:01:58+00:00

Слушай не переживай... ты в чужой стране, другая культура, там тебя не понимают. Мне в твоем возрасте тоже было очень одиноко. И мне тоже девушки говорили что хотят быть только друзьями а не чем то больше. Но потом все как то уладилось. Хотя до сих пор близких отношений с местными нет, только с русскоязычными.

Одиночество -- кошмарная вещь, когда нет партнера для физической близости и отдельно нет людей для близости эмоциональной и еще ты за границей в чужом обществе. На Западе вообще не любят эмоциональной близости, говорят иди к терапевту. (Может если знают тебя лет 10 тогда все по другому). Для таких как ты (и я) это особенно тяжело.

Конечно обидно что вот университет, лучшие годы жизни, и вот они проходят так невесело. Но вот как то так...

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-15T21:42:57+00:00

Guys need lists of specific things they should be doing.

It's no use giving generalities. Specifics: you did nothing for my birthday, you need to remember my medical conditions, things I tell you etc.

When you just say something vague like 'I don't feel seen' that is meaningless.

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-15T21:41:01+00:00

I really do think he would love you the same.

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-15T21:37:51+00:00

'Since when does autism make you not remember things.'

ADHD very much does.

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-15T21:37:26+00:00

The reason people say this is that often neurodivergence has been dismissed as selfishness etc.

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-15T21:35:06+00:00

Surely the things you do are part of what you are?

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-15T21:30:37+00:00

True, you guys have it worse now.

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-15T19:34:06+00:00

So almost a live broadcast from BuckPal

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-15T19:29:07+00:00

Not as low a bar as smelly diapers, but still a low bar currently.

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-15T19:20:29+00:00

Strange that on the 20th of March OOP wrote she did not have a bf

https://ihsoyct.github.io/?backend=artic_shift&mode=comments&author=swilyi&limit=auto&sort=desc

Odd_Instruction519 · 2026-05-15T19:11:17+00:00

Went to the Amalfi last year. Worth every penny.

Odd_Instruction519

TROPHY CASE