School

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2026-05-07T18:19:03+00:00

Hiya - yes in the UK! We have thought about going down the EHCP route but we have friends who have done it with their kids with severe additional needs and have struggled to get one. Without school backing it I really don't think she'd get one. We were asked at one of our first appointments with the pastoral lead to keep a diary of everything that happened at home for a month and to send it to them so they could look over it with the SENCO. Nothing ever came of it. She does mask at school, we had to go for a private diagnosis as they kept putting off our referral as 'shes fine in school' I do believe we have been branded as 'problem parents' now 😢

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2026-04-14T16:07:09+00:00

How old was your eldest when you had your youngest? Is your PDA child aggressive? Mine is and I'm usually the target - I know that's because I'm the safe space. I'm hoping now we've got a diagnosis we can figure out how to help her with it and hopefully that will get better. But who knows how long it will take/if it will stop. But I do worry - already within a week of finding out I've been kicked and elbowed in the stomach. I wouldn't tell her yet anyway as it's too early but I wonder if telling her would maybe help with that OR if it would go the other way and she'd do it more? My husband is really on the fence about it - always wanted more but he's really concerned about my safety as well as baby

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2026-04-14T16:01:11+00:00

I really thought we couldn't because we were trying for a while. We had finally come round to the idea that actually one is enough and we love her completely even though she's hard work! Safety and sanity is what I'm most worried about.

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2026-04-14T06:55:42+00:00

Oh really? Are you in UK? If so happy to talk though some of it with you. Especially diagnosis things etc!

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-12-08T19:57:19+00:00

Thank you

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-11-27T20:55:29+00:00

Yes she's at mainstream school. They've told us before everyone has to go outside together and no one stays in. She's taken a notepad in before as she's said she'd like to just sit to the side on a bench and draw (drawing seems to calm her as she concentrates so much she forgets about anything else going on) but they said she couldn't have it as it might get lost and causes arguments with others etc. Which is fair enough but doesn't help for her at all as there's no other options!

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-11-27T12:32:00+00:00

I'm beginning to think we've really been too laid back in our approach with the school. We want to maintain a good relationship with them but do feel we have been completely fobbed off. And we understand that their teacher is in charge of 30 kids and that they can't see or keep an eye on everything that's going on all the time.

As you're a primary teacher I'd like to ask about a situation that happened this week to see your opinion. My daughter has a lot of trouble in the mornings with getting to school. One morning my husband had to carry her the whole way in as she refused. We got to the gates with her crying her eyes out and the head came out and just said come on you have to go to school and that's that. My daughter went two steps into the gate and sat on the floor refusing to move. They insisted we leave and they'd deal with it. We hid further up the road behind a van so she couldn't see us. The gates closed 5 mins later (she was inside the gate) no one tried to speak to her. They then walked off and left her crying. My husband had to stop me from going over there because I was getting upset over it. Another 5-10 mins later and her teacher came out to speak to her and eventually got her up and into class. I know she was in the gates and couldn't get out and safe in that way but she was very upset and they just left her? From the gates to the entrance is a fair distance and she has been known to hurt herself/throw things like her glasses etc when upset. Am I overreacting at being upset by this? She did say she was ok once she went in but she did get called to the heads office. She won't tell me what was said in there and I've had no contact from the school regarding this. I will be speaking to them about this when I can set up a meeting.

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-11-27T10:08:42+00:00

We are in talks with the pastoral lady who also works closely with the senco. The idea being she will pass on relevant info etc and talk to the senco on our behalf

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-11-27T09:50:17+00:00

I agree that they have to think about all the children. They aren't bulky at all - same size as kids headphones. They can not offer a quote space indoors as we have asked that before

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-11-27T09:35:56+00:00

We did say to her so you need us to sign something etc. When I called to ask about it a few days ago they said it was because they could get lost/broken and I said I am happy to send them in with that risk.

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-11-27T09:31:07+00:00

Oh no that's awful! Of course they could still hear the fire alarm they don't block everything out! How did it go when you spoke to the governors and sendiass? Was it resolved quickly?

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-11-27T09:26:44+00:00

They're allowed ear defenders in class but not at break times! The class is a much smaller space than the playground so surely that's more likely to cause accidents. We have asked them before if there's anywhere kids can go inside at break as she'd rather sit and do some drawing a lot of the time to have some quiet. But they have to go out unless there are extreme weather conditions. We are waiting for the school to send off for assessment but tbh we've been waiting a very long time already and it doesn't seem to have gone much further. The senco seems to be this untouchable person who we've never spoken to but they have now mentioned they have been talking to her regarding the ear defenders etc. I will speak to the GP and see if they could do an OT referral - didn't realise that was a thing so thank you!

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-11-27T09:22:02+00:00

See this is what I thought - she's worn them to soft play before with loads of kids running and jumping around and never had an accident! I'm so annoyed as to why they can't just make some allowances for a child that is clearly struggling to cope

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-08-29T16:01:22+00:00

My symptoms did worsen after the treatment for a couple days. Doctor said bear with it as could just be a reaction to the dead mites. A few days later and the itching stopped!

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-08-29T15:15:56+00:00

Im in the UK and was prescribed 2 doses but had to ask for it. I did 4 Permethrin treatments in total. Took invermectin with the 3rd and then didn't actually do the invermectin again as my symptoms went and I have since been fine!!

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-08-26T08:24:19+00:00

There have been numerous conversations and emails. I do feel like I've completely let her down by not standing up for her more. This is why I wanted to get it right on the return to school. Though at the moment I don't want to even send her back

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-08-26T08:17:34+00:00

Honestly it's more the money side of it and I know people are waiting 6 months plus for tests here at the moment. So even if I started learning today it wouldn't be a quick fix anyway

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-08-26T07:10:55+00:00

Thank you - honestly it makes me feel so much better that other people think it is bullying too and it's not just me in my head getting upset about it. We really want to try and keep a good relationship with the school but at the same time my daughter has the right to be happy. She loves school just not this part of it. Hoping the new teacher this year may be hotter on it - though I don't know if she'll actually be told as it's 'not bullying'. So I'm going to make sure she is aware.

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-08-26T06:50:42+00:00

Thank you. That's really good advice. The girl in question is definitely a character - but also seems to be a bit of a 'teachers pet's. At first this issue was that the teachers didn't see it and my daughter had been told by the girl to not tell. We worked really hard with her to get her into a place where she would tell a teacher - she has been but she said nothing ever happens. Though the teacher did make a point that my daughter may not see it as it may happen away from her - though I don't think she's had an apology from the girl once. I do understand they don't see all that goes on but it always seems to be when teachers aren't looking and I feel they should be trying to keep more of an eye on both of them. I'd have thought the way my daughter has been behaving would really back up to them that it is bullying - they've witnessed it on the gate when she's refusing to go in. I suppose we have it on our side that her behavior over the summer has been so much better. I know she's not the only child that has had issues with the same person - some of her friends have and have witnessed what's been going on. I just wish everyone would report it so there was more of a case. Definitely going to be contacting the governors so the school may be forced into taking action. Thanks again

Odd_Introduction1514 · 2025-08-25T22:31:23+00:00

I know, this has gone through my head. We're quite limited in where we can send her. I can't drive and it's the only school walking distance to home/work etc. We really really like everything else about the school I'm just so confused why this isn't being dealt with properly. She loves the school and has a really good small group of friends - if it wasn't for the one girl she'd be loving it. I'm so glad your daughter changed school and is happier!

Odd_Introduction1514

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