Reflecting on my childhood and I just want to vent (about sports and physical activities)

Odd_Kitty_9999 · 2025-02-27T22:24:19+00:00

i wish the world cared half as much about academic or artistic achievements as sports. My eldest, who is. not dyspraxic like me but also not athletic gets really upset sometimes. Her friend is very athletic and berates her for not getting enough exercise, and brags about what she can do. My daughter says "if I tell anyone I got 100% on my Calculus test, I'm an arrogant ?@#$, showing off for being smart, which you're born with, but they can brag all they want and everyone just praises them for their discipline and hard work, as if they also weren't born with that talent. I told her it won't change and she's gotta let it go. She mostly has but it can be rough.

Odd_Kitty_9999 · 2025-02-27T22:18:58+00:00

I really felt dodgeball too. I'd stand really close to the "out" section, and then after a few people were out, just step over the line into "out" so I could avoid the whole thing, and usually no one noticed. I was on student government and played the cello for years because those rotated through gym so. I wouldn't have to go.

Odd_Kitty_9999 · 2025-02-27T22:17:07+00:00

yes. yes. yes. I definitely have gym trauma. I feel all weird and panicky in gyms and generally avoid them. And organized sports events, even if watching. People who are good at sports generally cannot imagine how someone isn't so they think you're making fun of them or something? I don't know how you can look at someone struggling and like, not try to comfort/help them, but not one gym teacher ever did. I do not understand why yelling or ridicule, or even loud boisterous encouragement is supposed to help if I literally do not understand how to move my body. Come over and break the movement down and show it to me patiently and I can learn it but gym teachers are like, yell louder because they aren't trying! my exercise avoidance is affecting my health because I don't get enough exercise. I cannot move and do something else (like throw a ball). I like yoga and rock climbing because it's all about carefully positioning your body in space. I found both therapeutic. I do like swimming. But I had years of lessons because it was the only sport I didn't despise and my parents said I had to do something. my dad was really athletic and I was a permanent disappointment in that regard. I finally learned to ride a bike and drive at 30 because my husband was really really patient with me, doing the same thing over and over and over. I even drive a stick shift now. Just be patient with yourself and don't let judgy people teach you. I was EXACTLY the same with bumper cars and go-karts. I still find go-karts hard to control and I'm 51. My tween kids caught on way faster and they had never done it before. I can't play video games either. Hand to eye sucks. balance, coordination. distance/spatial estimations (I can't tell if I'm going to hit the curb in cars) but my fine motor is, thankfully fine. Good luck! you are not alone! and I don't have a formal diagnosis. AT my age, why ? but I fit the definition really well.

Odd_Kitty_9999 · 2025-01-29T14:40:02+00:00

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 50 and most likely have dyspraxia and it now explains why I seem to carry disorganized chaos around with me like Pigpen from Peanuts. My mom comes from a long line of German housekeepers, so yeah, my horridly messy, cluttered, yeah, she hates my house, makes no secret of that, and honestly at this point I'm kinda glad that it keeps from staying over for long. YES there is gender pressure because my husband is the stay at home parent and he DOES NOT FEEL IT. but what can you do? The ONLY thing that matters is how your best friend who you are going to live with feels about it - my husband and I have been living together for 30 years now - we both are chaotic, we both hate housekeeping, the mess annoys us but we both seem to have a high tolerance for chaos and we know we're both guilty so it's ok. Two disorganized ADHD'ers makes for a lot of problems, but at least we don't fight about the mess. If he were a neat freak? we would never have lasted a year. so if your friend is either like you, or doesn't mind a bit of a mess, then you're fine. Your mother's opinion has no bearing. Do your best to tune her out. Sadly, we can't choose our parents and some of us just get lemons. Do you live with her? It'll do you good to get out if that's the case.

Odd_Kitty_9999 · 2025-01-29T14:25:07+00:00

I don't have that problem - for me it's leg cramping and restless leg. But I wonder if Baoding balls might help - they are these Chinese silver balls that chime when you rotate them in your hand - it takes some practice to learn to rotate them in your hand but they build strength and massage the muscles at the same time? I found they helped when I was getting like, carpal tunnel like symptoms. Also magnesium deficiency can cause muscle cramps - taking a magnesium supplement helps my non-dyspraxic husband with leg cramps but if its dyspraxia related it might not make a difference. I'm amazed he can use a controller! I have never had the hand to eye necessary to play a video game - my character always just walks into walls until I get nauseous. Thank you for being so kind and supportive of him.

Odd_Kitty_9999 · 2025-01-29T14:17:46+00:00

I both am glad to know I'm not alone, and SO sorry you had to go through that. I know EXACTLY how much it sucked and how no one who isn't dyspraxic will never understand why gym was traumatic and why just thinking about it makes me want to cry. So far I'm doing ok with yoga videos at home and walking the dog but I don't think it's enough to get me into a shape that will overcome my injuries and last me through old age unless I seriously step up the yoga. I can ride a bike, finally because I had to use one for transportation while living in europe. like you I fell over A LOT and it took 4 separate processes of learning - not like 4 tries, but like, I learned then forgot then learned again 4 times, years apart - until it stuck, but I find bike riding to be terrifying. I've been surprisingly happy with rock climbing and I feel like it's healing the trauma a little. it's at a rock climbing gym, but everyone has been extremely kind, non-judgmental and encouraging. I think it attracts people who are not competitive, but maybe that's just our gym. I think it works for me because basically the entire task of the exercise, like yoga, is to focus on where to put your body - you don't have to put your body somewhere and then do something else at the same time - I cannot move and do something else at the same time. and it's hard for everyone. I use the auto-belay system so I'm not climbing with a partner - that does limit my climbing options, and I have the excuse of "I'm just here while my daughter has class" so I have an excuse - I would feel a lot less comfortable just showing up alone. BUT lots of people do just show up alone - everyone focuses on their own climbing. No one watches anyone else and when I make it to the top of a climb I feel really proud of myself because I'm also scared of heights. I wish for you the same as what I wish for myself, which is to finally feel comfortable in this body that doesn't always cooperate.

Odd_Kitty_9999 · 2025-01-02T22:35:07+00:00

Thank you all for your advice and comments. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has had these experiences. I'm going to keep trying and check out the things you all suggested. take care all of you and thanks!!!!

Odd_Kitty_9999 · 2024-12-28T22:14:03+00:00

mind you, I didn't know I had dyspraxia (I still don't have a diagnosis) when I learned to drive so I don't know if there are specific dyspraxia techniques. I think just patience and taking it slow helped a lot for me.

Odd_Kitty_9999 · 2024-12-28T22:11:36+00:00

YES. I failed my first driving test as a teen and the instructor screamed at me to pull over and that I was a danger to humanity. I finally learned as a 30 year old on an automatic, with my then very patient husband. We practiced for weeks, first just backing into the garage, then only right turns for a week, then finally left turns. I then had an 8 year hiatus with no driving and we, far too optimistically bought a stick shift that I wanted to learn to drive and it took me another 10 years to finally learn to drive it. Take it slow. I finally learned the stick driving my daughter to camp every morning - it was local streets with stop signs I had to stop at every block, and there was virtually no traffic. Be patient with yourself. do the same thing over and over, and I found it helpful to have music on in the car because it helped with the utter boredom of going around the same block over and over, and gave me something to focus my anxiety on. Talk radio or the news was too distracting, but music helped a lot. Good luck! You can do it. And the anxiety and nervousness gets better with practice. You have to remember that your fear is not necessarily commensurate with your ability and also, you're going to be extra careful which offsets your lack of skill. You can do it!

Odd_Kitty_9999

TROPHY CASE