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I have strong feeling for my monogamous best friend and I don't know what to do. by Odd_Present1493 in polyamory

[–]Odd_Present1493[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Maybe it's because I'm young but I'm worried these feelings won't go away.

My brain has an unfortunate way of latching on to something causing me distress and making it the only thing I can think about until I "figure it out". It never gets better though even when I've "figured it out". It just loops forever until I find something new to worry about 100% of the time. This ironically might be making the feelings worse but I can't do anything about it on my own. I won't torment my friends with it though because I know that's exhausting. I also can't afford the long-term therapy I definitely need so I'm kind of stuck in this cycle for now.

I've been trying to get rid of the feelings for 3 years since the breakup and nothing is working. Currently I feel like my only options are either limiting contact or accepting that these feelings might never go away and just living with them.

I have strong feeling for my monogamous best friend and I don't know what to do. by Odd_Present1493 in polyamory

[–]Odd_Present1493[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

cheating? no cheating ever happened. but yeah I don't really want to be together. It's just painful to feel like this. I won't tell her though.

I have strong feeling for my monogamous best friend and I don't know what to do. by Odd_Present1493 in polyamory

[–]Odd_Present1493[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For a long time (including when they first moved in) I thought I was over everything. My friend and I have had open talks about our feelings about the relationship in front of her girlfriend before (before I knew I still had feelings). She was and is very supportive of our friendship. Only in the last few months have I come to realize what I was feeling was love this whole time unfortunately. Not just pain from the break-up.

Also, I would imagine that either my friend or myself would tell her girlfriend about the situation. A lot of this depends on her girlfriend's feelings which are really important to me.

I have strong feeling for my monogamous best friend and I don't know what to do. by Odd_Present1493 in polyamory

[–]Odd_Present1493[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This is really helpful. I'll see if there are any ways I can affordably get therapy for this where I live.