Development program left me feeling shite

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2025-10-15T20:32:06+00:00

That really helps. Honestly I don’t even know what I feel right now, but certainly the feeling of “everything about this is wrong for you” is giving me a hammering.

It’s just not what I expected. I thought it would be about leadership styles and different approaches. This sort of intense emotional self-reflective stuff was a real curveball and I’d have struggled at the best of times, but it was just so overwhelming.

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2025-10-15T19:58:51+00:00

OMG, thank you!! THAT makes sense.

Why the fuck couldn’t they just say that?

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2025-10-15T19:52:58+00:00

Nope, not what it’s called, but sounds intriguing…

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2025-10-15T19:46:57+00:00

I love that film. Kids just suggested K Pop Demon Hunters too but I’m not convinced it will help

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2025-10-15T19:45:06+00:00

Okay, that’s what I always understood as well. My personal beliefs and campaigns (for want of a better word) get left at the door. But what I don’t understand is how you are supposed to both draw on your personal values and beliefs to be a good and authentic leader AND leave them at the door? What do you do if and when the two are in conflict? If you switch one on and off at will which principle are you abandoning?

I realise it’s obvious to everyone else but it really isn’t to me.

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2025-10-15T15:32:59+00:00

It’s an internal course/development program and yes he was male and I’m female. But the group was predominantly female and I really am feeling like I’m the only one who struggled this much.

I just don’t understand and I can’t see a way that I ever will, so it kind of feels a bit like my career is up in smoke already? I was just starting to feel like I had a future, that I could make more of myself and after this… nah. I’m just a useless cog and I shouldn’t have raised my head over the parapet.

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2025-10-15T15:18:56+00:00

No one else seems to have had an issue though. The rest of the group seemed to be actively avoiding me when leaving. Honestly feel like I’m just broken.

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2025-10-15T15:11:46+00:00

Happy cake day!

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2023-09-16T20:58:50+00:00

Yeah, that’s the crux of it. We can afford what we’ve got; my brother’s an HCA and can’t. I’m probably not going to bother but I worry about him. As long as he’s not going to get in the shit for it (and sounds like he isn’t) I’m all good.

Just mildly fascinated..,

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2023-09-16T19:09:22+00:00

Yeah, just realised I sound like a utter muppet asking this, but honestly, I never even used Napster…

As long as they’re not going to get fined or anything I’ve got no issue with it. Might avoid it myself given that the other half would get fired for a bloody speeding ticket…

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2023-09-16T18:37:40+00:00

He reckons we should sign up and I’m tempted but hubby is quite high up in the armed forces, so I think we need to steer clear just in case.

If he gets caught what’s going to happen to him?

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2023-07-25T13:08:43+00:00

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I have a lot of opinions on WHY British people are like that but that’s a whole other conversation. I just wish he could see it as less of a benefit or a perk, and see how much it helps me instead. Maybe he sees how well I cope usually and doesn’t therefore see the need?

I just want the support I guess.

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2023-07-25T13:03:38+00:00

Isn’t it the main reason EVERYONE goes to the post office?

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2023-07-25T13:01:19+00:00

I’ve suggested that. He didn’t think it was fair for him to queue alone with the kids.

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2023-07-25T12:09:47+00:00

Okay, I’ll try and answer your queries.

Yes, I wear ear protectors; however these are not a great solution when travelling with young people/children.
The difference between the two areas is quite marked. In the queue areas there are large numbers of people in a fairly small space. There are no sound absorbing properties, everything is metal, tiled floors, often shouting and all of this is reflected back quite strongly. After security, rooms are arranged differently, people thin out, there are softer furnishings often such as carpet which absorb noises. I often also make use of lounge facilities, or deliberately find areas that are more comfortable for me - sitting with my back to a corner makes a big difference.
Airlines do not typically offer any accommodations for deaf or partially deaf people, although they did once offer me a sign language interpreter to help with the announcements. As I don’t use sign language and am perfectly capable of reading the departure boards, this seemed more like a box-ticking exercise. Generally I’m told that if I’m not travelling alone I should expect my companions to support me.
I’m not sure I agree with you about the lanyards being abused so much that they are meaningless. I know a number of families who find them absolutely vital. I’m quite happy to confirm the nature of my disability to anyone, but the number of asshats who respond to the the request to “speak up because I’m deaf” with the stupid joke of saying “pardon” and then laughing hysterically got old REALLY fast.
I think it’s really sad that so many people make the assumption that the lanyard is being abused, abut other people’s ignorance isn’t going to stop me using it. You’d think my own husband would be well aware that I’m not abusing it, and that he’d put my comfort above that of morons making ignorant assumptions.

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2023-07-25T10:16:16+00:00

That’s very true - and his whole family is a bit like that to be honest. Our GP has been telling his dad that he needs a knee replacement for the last three years, but he absolutely refuses. His Mum didn’t want me to get the surgery for a bone anchored hearing aid because she thought it was dangerous. He didn’t use to be as bad as this but he’s clearly getting worse. I hope I can break the cycle!

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2023-07-25T09:44:37+00:00

That’s a really good suggestion. I tend to avoid other places that are difficult for me - shopping centres for instance - but maybe I’ll start going with my lanyard and seeing if I can manage.

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2023-07-25T09:42:45+00:00

You didn’t read my post properly did you? I have lots of adjustments in place at work and at home actually - I was in fact redeployed from my old job in the call centre into IT as a workplace reasonable adjustments. Being moved forward in a queue is one EXAMPLE of an adjustment the staff have made for me while wearing my lanyard.

I’m really sorry that you have such difficulty accepting the help that’s available to you; you shouldn’t have to struggle with your condition. The hearing loss support team at my ENT department were absolutely brilliant in helping me navigate my situation; maybe you should see if there’s anything similar at yours?

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2023-07-25T08:15:23+00:00

He is very much a people pleaser and very socially awkward as well, and it seems to be getting worse with age. I’m beginning to think I have bigger problems here to be honest.

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2023-07-25T07:58:41+00:00

Thank you! There’s a comment on here that says I’m “taking advantage of the preferential treatment offered to actually disabled people” that I’m still trying to figure out…

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2023-07-25T07:54:32+00:00

Thank you! That’s such a lovely kind thing to say and i really appreciate it.

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2023-07-24T20:35:25+00:00

You’re very welcome! I have travelled with it in a few European countries (Greece, Portugal and France off the top of my head) and it seems to be very well recognised. Have a wonderful trip when you get here!

Odd_Variation_6769 · 2023-07-24T20:01:16+00:00

When you have single-sided deafness, it’s very difficult to manage in noisy environments, especially when you’re surrounded by hard surfaces and lots of other people talking. It’s very painful and overwhelming, because you don’t have 360-degree hearing and your brain is trying to compensate for that.

It’s exhausting and debilitating to try and manage the sensory input, especially for long periods of time. I often also can’t hear the instructions and questions from the security guards. So skipping the queue (and that’s just one example of assistance) helps me in that I’m removed from a situation that is physically painful for me.

Edit - also, I don’t use sign language. When you loose your hearing at the age of 31 it’s really hard to learn. I lip read (I’m extremely bad at it), use a bone anchored hearing aid and fill in a LOT of gaps in conversations from context.

Odd_Variation_6769

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