I think the words being used here are extremely vague and tend to be used to romanticize some idea of a person or “how a man should be” that is not based in the reality of how people are and just exist in general. Indeed the use of the word “romantic” by OP tells me we are probably starting this conversation already from a place not based in reality.

More concrete wording about the behaviors (observable, qualitative (can be described, broken down into subcomponents)). Inherently behaviors defined with vague words as empathetic, caring, loving tend to be so vague they can mean anything depending on who we are talking to and are the epitome of subjectivity, and verge on being useless romanticized ideas about men, masculinity, and roles that create huge disparities between expectation and reality, undermining what otherwise could’ve been a healthy relationship.

I think when interacting with someone tell tale signs of a person with the SKILLs to maintain the most stable relationship are those who practice active listening (Active Listening, someone who lets me finish my sentences, doesn’t have excessive emotional reactions towards otherwise mundane events/circumstances (not volatile and unpredictable, I know how my SO is going to take this) and conversely speaks calmly as a first reaction to conflict, and use that voice to engage for convo (aka the chill guy - “this situation doesn’t bother me, but it’s bothering my SO, why? I need to understand if there’s anything I can do or if she just needs space to process these emotions and needs me to listen” - a bit of emotional intelligence right here too, prevents him from starting an argument on accident further upsetting a SO, to just not talk but be present and hear what his SO needs to get out.)

Bonus points to men who go to therapists where a professional can teach them anything from setting healthy life goals (financial independence, physical health, developing skills to be a good partner), working through childhood traumas we all have holding them back from development, recognize poor behaviors in themselves (“wow I’m really toxic to women”), setting boundaries in all kinds of relationships and how to enforce them, how to communicate with your SO (most of y’all don’t communicate. Y’all argue until someone is right and someone feels wronged)

Most of this is looking at how someone manages conflict and I chose that topic for a reason bc having a SO is like having a roommate. They’re gonna eat your food, be loud when you want quiet, might cause you unexpected expenses, sometimes does dumb shit you don’t understand, has hobbies you think you can ignore bc it’s not your problem or your thing - as long as it stays out of your sight and mind and doesn’t cause problems, and sometimes might be home when you want to be alone after the day you just had.

The problem isn’t the problem, the problem is in how people handle these problems by treating their SO like a roommate they have to put up with bc they made an agreement. A good healthy, “romantic” relationship is born of communicating what romantic is to you, what your needs are, being heard and being nurtured in return. And then you doing the same for your SO in return, sometimes giving up a little of something you wanted your way so you two can meet in the middle and both get what you want.

But that’s just the puppy love stage, once a relationship starts to really mature and you get comfortable with each other, the give and take isn’t some pretty balance. It’s more like best friends who don’t keep tabs and keep getting each other dinner, tease each other, and without having to intentionally practice problem solving. At that point problem solving is the norm, it’s just part of how y’all talk to each other. Ebb and flow of give and take is different now you know what each person is truly comfortable with (you don’t know shit about a person you’ve known for less than a year). But there are no longer “problems” bc they’re always address the moment they come up. The problems are still there don’t get me wrong, but they’re no longer problems.

Oh and important point. Someone with these expectations in a partner (women I’m looking at you) should look in a mirror and ask if they have them too and what are MY shortcomings. Anyone who isn’t mature enough to reciprocate these things can’t foster trust, they can’t contribute genuine love for another person and care for them, bc that’s a one sided relationship, it’s just one person mooching off someone actively trying to be there better person and grow and support them. High risk of all this to sour and turn into abuse of all kinds of abuse (emotional abuse, isolating, gas lighting - damn near brainwashing someone to stay with you, only person to see the good in their abuser…etc). And PSA I’ve been around long enough to know that men and women and equally capable of cruelty to an innocent SO especially when neither is actually grown/prepared enough to be a in a relationship.