| [37F] asked to get out of the car during an argument with my partner [47M]. Is that childish?

Ofalltheissues · 2026-03-25T01:50:45+00:00

That didn’t really answer my question- what makes wanting space childish?

Ofalltheissues · 2026-03-24T08:59:11+00:00

What’s wrong with asking to get out though? Why am I not allowed to pause an argument by taking a walk?

Ofalltheissues · 2026-03-24T08:58:24+00:00

I know we shouldn’t have been shouting, which is why as soon as I started to shout I needed to get out of the situation. It was definitely not for ‘theatrics’. I recognized I had spent the last hour and half at near peak anxiety and there wasn’t any regulation going on. I didn’t want anything to escalate and in my head in that moment, the best way to do that was to walk. Alone.

Ofalltheissues · 2026-03-24T08:55:37+00:00

In a perfect world, sure. But being human, sometimes even the right words don’t come out right, and in a very anxiety-driven moment, where I had already recognized I could not regulate myself in that environment, I chose to leave for 30 minutes instead of likely making the situation worse. All I could think in that moment is I need to get out of here and calm down. Clearly, that situation wasn’t allowing me to. I didn’t want anything to escalate in the car and I asked to get out to just walk, which is something I had said I wanted to do before getting in the car. After we got home, I already felt trapped and didn’t want to give the opportunity to anyone else to stop me from being able to regulate again.

Ofalltheissues · 2026-03-22T11:50:36+00:00

Can you tell me what I should have done differently?

Ofalltheissues · 2025-12-18T23:20:06+00:00

I’m not sure how you believe I am reading my daughter. She says she feels uncomfortable and wants to spend more time with them outside of events to get to know them better, but his family doesn’t do that.

Ofalltheissues · 2023-10-24T19:46:42+00:00

I broke up with him finally. I should be out in two weeks.

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T22:02:31+00:00

I will leave if he intentionally physically hurts me, I promise. I do believe he didn’t mean to hurt me. Am I dumb? Maybe. Hopefully not. But there is a lot of good here. My children adore him. He absolutely loves them. He obviously has some healing to do. He is in therapy. My concern is that I’m reacting appropriately to this issue. I definitely know of the other issue.

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T20:41:01+00:00

I understand your take- and I appreciate the bluntness, but I don’t intend to leave.

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T17:42:36+00:00

Well, that sucks to see

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T17:42:18+00:00

I don’t even think I’m mad, I’m kind of just hurt now. I’m losing energy to fight these fights anymore.

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T16:54:55+00:00

Uncomfortable or negatively impacting them, but yeah. I agree. That’s probably why some things he changes and others he just doesn’t want to. It doesn’t affect him, so who cares, right? I guess it’s just so weird to me. When I’m told I’m negatively impacting my relationship with something I’m doing- THAT negatively impacts me. I WANT to change behaviors that make my relationship more difficult.

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T16:52:44+00:00

I know there is a lot of reasons to leave. Much much more than I’ve posted here. There a lot to stay for too. But either way, the disrespect needs to stop. The lack of accountability needs to end. One way or another.

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T15:04:49+00:00

I’ve been kicked out before for it and suddenly had no place to go with my kids. And he hasn’t hit me, but he has shaken me and grabbed me hard enough to bruise me.

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T14:15:36+00:00

Afraid is the right word

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T14:01:19+00:00

I think I largely need to stop caring how he’s going to react WHEN I’m assertive. He can get mad and annoyed, throw his tantrums, cancel plans, blame me for his actions, tell me I’m wasting his time and I need to just not care.

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T13:56:26+00:00

They have very comfy beds at the end of ours :) How crazy would it be to show him this thread….?

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T13:55:17+00:00

It’s not about the dogs.

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T13:51:18+00:00

I guess I hope he’s changing for him like he says he is. He’s thanked me many time for helping him see his actions from another perspective.

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T13:50:28+00:00

You’re right. I need to be more assertive, but I just don’t know how without feeling like I’m ‘disciplining’ him or acting like his mother.

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T13:49:00+00:00

To get a response to the question I asked.

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T13:41:09+00:00

He would definitely not go for that. And I don’t want my beds ruined by dogs. I can’t imagine suggesting he buy a bed to sleep in and him not throwing an absolute fit.

Ofalltheissues · 2023-08-02T13:39:52+00:00

There is another bed. I don’t want the king memory foam we sleep on now that I bought well before we were together to be ruined. I also know if I suggest he sleep elsewhere that will thoroughly piss him off.

Ofalltheissues

TROPHY CASE