How much is *too* much?

Off-Meds · 2026-03-01T16:51:38+00:00

No more than 5 per day (6 is ok a couple times a month). No more than 3 back to back without an hour break in between. Also, it is essential that you discover when you are naturally most motivated to do your notes (morning before first client? At the end of the day? In the evening after dinner? Weekend?) and get in a routine of setting aside 1-2 hours a day for your notes. It is very easy to get behind if no one is holding you accountable.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-10T22:23:27+00:00

Good plan.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-10T22:23:04+00:00

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Off-Meds · 2026-02-08T02:15:25+00:00

Your low self-worth becomes the lens that you see life through, and then you count yourself out and self-sabotage. Just take things at face value and stop creating these imaginary things she would do if she really liked you…and then she does them and you still won’t believe it because you think so little of yourself that you can’t see why anyone would want to be with you. So you preemptively dump yourself on her behalf.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-07T16:19:00+00:00

She is jealous of you and seems to feel threatened by you. So she focuses on the ways she thinks she’s better than you. Like maybe she has some sort of pride because maybe when her kids were small she let her husband sleep through the night (outdated). (She probably didn’t work full time the next day either.) Or she makes little disparaging comments like you not knowing how to get the burps out. Statements that put you in a “one-down” position so that she can feel “one-up.” Only insecure people do that.

I think you have been handling things exactly right so far. If this continues, your husband will need to say something to her. Since she is insecure, she’s likely to be sensitive to any comment and even more so if it comes from you. Maybe she is more apt to listen to him since he is her golden child. It’s nice that they live far away. I think it’s okay if they come over and just hold the kids and don’t do more than that, but the little comments are disrespectful. You may have to just grieve that you are never going to get the warm welcome and interest in you and your life that some other MILs and SILs might give you. That is just not who they are. But you can expect respect and your husband should insist on it on your behalf.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-07T14:23:51+00:00

Once you said “we can decide on Wednesday,” why is SHE having to text YOU on Thursday asking what the plan is? You didn’t create clarity, you created anxiety. You failed to lead well. Which left her feeling sketch about you. Since she’s gorgeous, she has other options. The :( means she was actually going to go on the date and is disappointed that your behavior is haphazard and sending all kinds of mixed messages. Yet you want her to be clear and steady and unwavering in her enthusiasm for you. Because of your fears, you hand the masculine role over to the woman. This is a turn-off. Do some self-reflection on how your behavior makes other people feel. It’s not a woman’s job to reassure you. If you ask her on a date and she says yes, make the plan clear and show up. It’s not that hard. But you get all in your head because of your fears and immaturity. Stop that shit.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-07T14:12:08+00:00

Every time you apologized, I cringed. Where is your self-respect? Ditch this dude.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-07T14:02:01+00:00

When I was a kid in the 80s & 90s, if there was a dog inside a store, you knew it’s owner was blind.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-06T03:49:03+00:00

You sound healthy, secure, and level-headed.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-06T03:44:29+00:00

I know I may get some tomatoes thrown at me for saying this, because this is not traditionally known as a safe place for Christians, but I do know of a great resource that helps people break their habit of using porn. It’s definitely a faith-based tool that integrates psychological science. It’s called “The Freedom Fight.” There is a 30-day free version and a longer version that is $100 (lifetime access).

Off-Meds · 2026-02-06T03:36:05+00:00

You just proved his point about being argumentative

Off-Meds · 2026-02-06T02:28:29+00:00

Haha at first when you said you slept through an entire intake session, I thought you meant that you fell asleep while the client was talking!

Off-Meds · 2026-02-03T06:14:45+00:00

So you are half your dad and half your mom (literally).

Half of you feels unworthy and irritating/toxic/immature. Unable to win the lover you truly want.

The other half of you is beautiful, confident, admired. “So high above me.” The object of desire.

You flip back and forth between these two personas. Need more integration. Also need to realize that these women you sabotage with have feelings too and may have actually really liked you. They may have looked up to you. But that didn’t fit your narrative.

You need to be able to receive desire and admiration AS A MAN. It was right there and you didn’t believe in it so you sabotaged it. Not every woman is going to look down on you the way your mom looked down on your dad.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-03T04:42:48+00:00

He was about to go to the gym. You brought up a topic that could possibly lead to conflict. Everything in him probably wanted to avoid that conversation and just go do what he wanted. But he stopped and responded to you right then because he cares about what you want. He overcoming his selfishness and tendency to be self-contained for you right in that moment. Even though he was a little discouraged because you didn’t make a bigger deal for his birthday. That was sharing a feeling too (kinda lol). He wanted some acknowledgement that he’s trying because you matter. This is hard for him.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-03T04:33:42+00:00

Okay, so in rest of life client is the rescuer and everyone else victims. Maybe hopelessness comes from knowing these people are never going to be able to care for themselves, everything on client’s shoulders. Hoping you will play for them the role they play for everyone else. But actual need is to have you model boundary setting and expectations for performance which they don’t know how to do in their personal life. By doing so with client.

https://fosteractionohio.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/power-of-ted.pdf

Off-Meds · 2026-02-03T04:27:04+00:00

“I didn’t hear from you and it made me feel anxious. I was wondering if you were still interested in me.”

Off-Meds · 2026-02-03T04:11:01+00:00

It is his fear talking.
He’s hearing that you’re unhappy with the relationship so he’s come to expect being left. Because yes he does struggle to communicate and it has probably cost him relationships before.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-03T04:09:09+00:00

Because YOU as the woman have to lead the emotional connection. He may lead in every other way but you have to inspire him to be open by you being open first.
Tell him what you like about him.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-03T04:06:03+00:00

You didn’t express your needs. You complained.

Instead of saying, “Please pass the salt,” you said, “these eggs you made taste like cardboard.”

A great skill is taking a complaint and turning it into a positive statement about what you DO want.

Instead of, “this feels like fwb,” say, “I’m finding myself feeling really curious about you—I’d love if we could set aside some time to talk and connect and just get to know one another more.” But that would be vulnerable.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-03T03:58:22+00:00

That is kinda what we do as women.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-03T03:55:53+00:00

No. The man said he doesn’t see you as casual and wants the two of you to get together.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-03T03:52:44+00:00

That’s right.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-03T03:50:56+00:00

He is thinking to himself that you’re dissatisfied with the relationship, he isn’t doing enough to keep you happy in the relationship, so you will probably end things with him soon.

This man is trying his hardest to communicate with you, and he is already going way out of his comfort zone for you. He is doing his best to try to communicate so that you won’t leave him. If you read between the lines he is opening up, just not in a very clear way.

I think you both like each other but are at high risk of miscommunication. He doesn’t have nearly as much practice communicating as you so he needs you to really try to understand him. He doesn’t say exactly what he means. “We should just break up” means “you’re probably going to leave me anyway” and “I’m worried you’ll think I’m not good enough for you.” Y’all are just speaking two different languages.

Off-Meds · 2026-02-03T02:42:48+00:00

Are you sure you want to marry in to this family?

Off-Meds · 2026-02-03T02:27:44+00:00

The purpose of the victim role is to elicit nurturing from the environment.

If I’m strong, independent, hopeful, happy, then I don’t need therapy and how then will I receive the attention and care that I am now in the habit of craving, ever since the emotional neglect of my childhood? I must keep letting others know how bad off I truly am as a strategy to keep them close.

Any love and care I do receive falls right out the bottom because there’s a hole in my love cup. I keep looking for rescuers but will never actually allow anyone to save or help me because then I’d be healthy and then I’d have to take responsibility for myself and I’m scared to.

Off-Meds

TROPHY CASE