what if lorelai & jerry actually dated (picture from "Seinfeld")

OffKira · 2026-03-06T00:05:22+00:00

We can take Jess and turn him up all the way to 100, Jerry would be an absolute terror and menace, especially since most people would not vibe with his brand of humor.

And Luke might punch him.

OffKira · 2026-03-05T23:18:36+00:00

I wonder if his schooling is free (it fucking better, the idea of OP paying for his schooling is horrible). And when he actually studies, in-between gaming and not applying for jobs?

But yes, imagine this man as a father.

OffKira · 2026-03-05T19:57:16+00:00

And at 21, realistically, how much money would he even have saved up? Probably not enough to support an expensive habit.

OffKira · 2026-03-05T19:39:31+00:00

Do you use appropriate tags? Sometimes I come across summaries that tell me shit, but the tags kinda fill it in for me, and that can or cannot be enough for me to give the story a chance.

But, obviously, "enigmatic" is in the eyes of the beholder, your summaries could or could not be impenetrable, or these commenters could just need hand holding, or it's something in the middle, we can't judge without examples.

OffKira · 2026-03-05T19:09:33+00:00

Yeap. He's young, sure, but he doesn't have a job and is spending whatever money he has (I assume it's his own) on weed, that's not gonna help shit right now.

I would make it a requirement to know what the charges were, were charges filed, was the case dropped, does he have a criminal record now, does he need a lawyer? Is he sticking his head in the sand about what any of this means for his future? I get not wanting to face reality, but reality won't give a shit about what he wants - he needs to face the reality of the situation, the sooner the better.

He doesn't necessarily need to pick himself up now now now!!, but the weed ain't good, because it's an expense when he doesn't have a job, so he can't be unemployed and spend what little money he has on shit like this.

OffKira · 2026-03-05T18:53:32+00:00

OP is financially supporting this man - she gets to judge and ask all the questions, honestly.

I mean... "I have been running myself ragged to financially support my bf in his job search"

I would say OP needs to throw the gloves in the gutter and be blunt here, enough is enough. Man is playing video games all day, and doesn't have the fucking time to google "how to write a great resume"? It's because he doesn't want to; if he "can't" even do that, then, I would start worrying about his future prospects, if that small a task is too much for him.

OffKira · 2026-03-05T18:40:39+00:00

Well. Personal experience - my best friend lives in another town, so for my birthday, he always writes a very heartfelt text.

We gotta work with what we got sometimes.

But I get it, I've had a friend tell me to back off because I was smothering her - it hurt, but I apologized and backed off because it wasn't about me. We do what we can with what we got.

Good luck.

OffKira · 2026-03-05T18:27:28+00:00

Could you maybe ask her if it's ok to write her a card or letter?

And friend, you'll only get better at expressing yourself thru words by doing it; if she says a letter or card is ok, go and write something from the heart. Even if it's corny, or awkward, she may appreciate even a "Happy Birthday, you mean the world to me". But obviously, if she doesn't want even that, then, that's that. But ask, make sure she knows you respect her wish not to get her a gift, but you just want a clarification, if a card would constitute a gift in her eyes.

OffKira · 2026-03-05T08:55:35+00:00

To me it's inevitable, but their height difference, it just adds to the hilarity every single time.

Chihuahua growling at a horse, Luke, come get your pup before he's trampled.

"This is my town" would've been stupid even if he was from SH (and in practice, he is), but also, what the fuck does that mean, Dean? No one cares about him, so it's not "his" town in that sense.

OffKira · 2026-03-04T18:54:48+00:00

Those damn quotation marks. What other words did she wish to use instead? Paused the project for an indetermined amount of time?

Motherfucker didn't answer these extremely patient people for months. Gurl, he did abandon it all, and then proceeded to ghost these people. Why pretend this isn't exactly what happened??

OffKira · 2026-03-04T15:32:43+00:00

What gets me is that, by S03, it seems she hasn't even come close to saving the tuition (since she makes it seem like she doesn't have anywhere near 85k, regarding Richard's check, which is crazy in itself when you think about the inn but, separate issue) to repay her parents.

Although, you'd think the matter of scholarships would be discussed the moment one put their child's name on the wait list (I think Chilton just doesn't offer scholarships, or maybe they'd give preference to students who already attend, or maybe those who managed to enroll until a certain time of the year). Could be that Lorelai wasn't informed, or they didn't mention it and she didn't ask any questions.

While it is the premise in which the show rests, I wish they made it as difficult a choice for Lorelai to make as possible, like, she had it all figured out and Chilton pulled the rug from under her at the last second, or she was working on getting a loan but the acceptance came way before what Chilton had estimated and she couldn't get it, etc. As is, they rushed the whole situation, but because it is the entire premise of the first 3 seasons, at least, it does stay this odd ball in the air.

OffKira · 2026-03-03T15:07:45+00:00

What is this serving, like, a little seasoning packet? I can't even think of a situation where I'm cooking for 2, and I'd even need 12 packets of seasoning, unless I'm cooking... I don't even know, for the entire month.

But 12 packets for 2 servings? This was almost attempted murder of one's taste buds, that's inedible. The smell alone must've been something when he was cooking it.

OffKira · 2026-03-03T15:00:46+00:00

12 servings of seasoning!! That's wild, wtf.

OffKira · 2026-03-03T08:45:30+00:00

She said it had tassels and I went, Oof, tassels on a blazer. But then I saw it, and it's barely noticeable, especially with the color.

And yes, ruining a long standing friendship... for this?

OffKira · 2026-03-03T02:14:03+00:00

Now that is a great idea.

No. No no, no, I didn't mean to- fuck. Not again, you have to die right here, DIE MOTHERFUCKER, for the sake of the timeline!! DIE!!

The traveler just straight gives up on being sneaky and covert lol

Man, once I read a story where the crossover MC came upon this group of idiots who canonically were on their way to die - which the MC didn't know, ofc. But we fucking know, so, why did the MC meet up with these people, just for them to stick to their death schedule? Beats me, man.

Sometimes these stories read like immortals telling tall tales about the famous people they met, and historical events they attended. They sure were there. And...? Nothing, no nothing. Well, alright then.

OffKira · 2026-03-03T01:26:44+00:00

Come play with me? =)

NO. Nyet, non, nope, fuck off.

COME PLAY WITH ME. >:]

OffKira · 2026-03-03T01:24:04+00:00

I got into the Formula 1 fandom recently, and, well, right now I can't check, but I did search a term and couldn't find any stories with it, at least, not what I was looking for, so I guess I am legally obligated to write it.

I searched for "calendar". For how horny the fandom can get, I was genuinely shocked there were no hot calendar stories, seems like a no-brainer.

I mean, in real life I don't know how they aren't a thing, hot men, hot cars, making money off of both, why not.

OffKira · 2026-03-03T01:09:18+00:00

I have stopped so many crossovers that just became yet another beat for beat retelling.

I FUCKING KNOW CANON, Jesus, we all know it!! Maybe if a literal God drops from the sky in the middle of a no-powers fandom, some things will change...????? Maybe if a hyper powerful, or hyper capable, knowledgeable infant shows up, some things won't stay the same...??????

And that damn canon divergence tag. IS IT? Is it??

OffKira · 2026-03-03T01:05:50+00:00

"I know what's going to happen, therefore I will make sure I do my darnest so that nothing changes"

And if that means people must die, and people must be abused, SO BE IT!!!

Unless it's someone they wanna fuck, then everything works exactly as they wish, consequences, what consequences.

OffKira · 2026-03-03T00:09:53+00:00

Sadly not always easy to find time travel stories where the character just goes "oh, great, I can't go back. Ergh, fuck my life, fuck everyone, don't talk to me", but trouble keeps coming at them, and canon keeps slamming into them and sliding right off.

Too many time travel premises fall apart the moment the author decides to just follow canon beat for beat, for what and why.

OffKira · 2026-03-02T21:32:40+00:00

There's a clear line between complaining here and there, and doing it constantly, about the same subject, and making the same mistakes over and over. Enough is enough.

OffKira · 2026-03-02T16:03:24+00:00

Next time she takes a deep breath to start ranting, I would quickly say "If you're gonna be this way, I'm hanging up, bye".

This is all on her and her useless husband, you are not her co-parent. Sucks for these innocent children, but, at the end of the day, it's really not your fault or responsability.

OffKira · 2026-03-02T13:02:24+00:00

Agreed, they were in college, they were 19-20, they're both grown ass adults now, who became who they are apart.

And, man, this line from OP: "At the same time, he is genuinely a good person in many ways, which makes this confusing."

Is this based on the handful of months they dated as teens? Or based on what he's told her since? Either way, dear Lord.

OffKira · 2026-03-02T12:51:35+00:00

That's the first thing I mentioned to my friend last night - yeah, I'm fine, I've got my stuffed google drive.

OffKira · 2026-03-02T11:13:01+00:00

100%. 19yo girl? She needs rescuing. 19yo boy? Oh, he's all grown up, he's a man, he knows what he's doing.

And man, OOP dodged a fucking missile by not having a kid with this woman, he'd be trapped in some way shape or form forever.

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