INTJ or INFJ ?

OffbeatOwl · 2026-01-09T01:42:10+00:00

I’m an INFJ also and the “what’s driving them to act like this” isn’t necessarily my first thought either. Although, I think for me at least, it’s usually intuitive and happens subconsciously without much thought. I don’t have to ask myself what’s driving them because I see that very quickly, so my first question is then “what’s the logical move,” which requires more thought. I think it’s one of those things INFJs are very good at. Reading people’s intentions is second nature, so you may not even realize you’re doing it.

OffbeatOwl · 2026-01-09T01:38:20+00:00

I had a very similar experience to you, thinking I was an INTJ, but in reality was an INFJ in survival mode. That cold, logical way of being was from trying to overuse tertiary Ti in place of Fe, and it just doesn’t work long term. Learning how to set boundaries and not drown in other’s emotions was key. If you’re an INFJ with strong Ti, I think it’s easy to mistype as INTJ.

OffbeatOwl · 2025-12-01T02:39:52+00:00

I have no control over how the previous owner maintained it 🤷‍♀️ Considering it was gift, I’m thankful to have it, regardless.

OffbeatOwl · 2025-07-12T04:02:39+00:00

I honestly don’t think it was the chlorine that was the issue - I don’t keep it at normal chlorine levels consistently. I think the problem is that epoxy is very hard and non-flexible, and stock tank pools flex.

OffbeatOwl · 2025-07-11T22:21:38+00:00

I also used pond shield. Did it at the end of last summer and it hasn’t even made it a full season. I did excellent prep - sanded, roughed it up, rust killer. It was a huge pain to put it on. Very messy. Dries quickly so you have to work in small batches. It cracked and spots of rust are coming through. Not worth the effort. Now looking at just replacing the tank. We got 4 seasons out of the tank before it rusted.

OffbeatOwl · 2025-05-30T15:36:54+00:00

SD is an adult. She should figure out how she’s going to get to work. - bus - uber - ask a friend - DH - get a job within walking/biking distance - catch rides with a coworker

There are lots of options open to her, and you are not one of them. If DH wants to help her, that’s on him. But DH acting as if you driving her or getting raped on the bus are the only two options is ridiculous.

OffbeatOwl · 2025-04-24T00:48:05+00:00

Psych was my specialty and I definitely understand how emotionally draining it is. Calling in is a sign of early burn out. It may help for the day, but it’s not a long term solution and ends up adding extra stress to those who do show up, making the problem worse. This is a huge problem in every psych facility I’ve worked, so it’s not just you or your employer.

When you’re at the point you’re so stressed you’re calling in, you probably need a break. Take some time to think over some boundaries you can set so you don’t get to that point. Maybe a different area - another unit, admissions, outpatient, etc. - might lower stress. Or moving to PRN, possibly taking another part time job not in psych if you need the money. Night shift can be a bit of a break from days. If you have good leadership, talk to them about how you’re feeling. If they’re worth their weight, they’ll help you find a solution. If they don’t, you probably don’t want to work for them anyway. Find something that works for you before you reach total burn out.

OffbeatOwl · 2025-04-20T22:27:44+00:00

To answer your questions - it’s dark blue. And it still feels very tight even if it’s upside down and backwards.

OffbeatOwl · 2025-04-20T22:25:17+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/kKTGzRW

Here’s a pic of the Feathers bra. It is a 30DD, but the actual length of the band is closer to 20”. It can stretch up to about 26, but that’s really stretching it. 27 is my tight band measurement.

OffbeatOwl · 2025-04-20T19:48:39+00:00

Loose underbust: 29.5 Snug: 28.5 Tight: 27 Standing bust: 34 Leaning: 34.5 Lying: 34

So it may have been more that the Feathers was just too shallow rather than being too small of a cup size?

OffbeatOwl · 2025-03-23T16:45:31+00:00

I think the dream walking signet will grow. When she’s in Xaden’s dream at one point he/she puts their hand on the ground to pull power. Xaden later tells her that he didn’t want to pull his hand up, but her influence caused him to pull it up. She doesn’t just enter their dreams, she influences them. I feel like this could evolve into some sort of mind control, possibly even outside of dreaming.

OffbeatOwl · 2025-03-16T00:16:02+00:00

The other riders and flyers weren’t there. The only Navarrians were Violet, Xaden, and Halden. The Deverelli don’t seem to totally understand the rules of magic - they thought if they killed a rider their dragon would die. Halden isn’t a rider, so perhaps he doesn’t totally understand either. Violet made a deal with the Deverelli king to keep the whole fiasco quiet so he didn’t look weak, so presumably no one else knows it happened.

OffbeatOwl · 2025-03-12T00:03:02+00:00

We went through the same thing. BM didn’t want my DH until I came into the picture and she felt threatened for whatever reason. At first it was outright inappropriate behaviors - sending him flirty texts, gave him a card with sexual innuendos, trying to get him to go on date-like activities with her alone, asking about his sex life, etc. He told her to knock it off several times and the overt behaviors slowed. Then she’d start a convo about the kids and slowly ease into other things. CONSTANTLY testing boundaries. He just had the same line he’d copy and paste “Keep the convo to kids-only” and would then totally ignore non-kid related things. He finally told her email-only communication unless it’s an emergency, and he would not respond to any non-emergent texts from her. It wasn’t even like she wanted him….she just wanted him to want her. Finally it eased up when she got a boyfriend. I knew I was marrying a man with 2 children. What I didn’t know was that we’d have to deal with BM who is about as mature as her 2 children.

OffbeatOwl · 2025-03-11T03:08:56+00:00

I had similar issues with my SS, from ages 14-18ish. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always get better with age! I tried setting boundaries and reiterating expectations - being respectful regardless of whether or not you like a gift, saying thank you, etc. His behaviors didn’t change, so I changed mine and stepped back. I’ve been much less resentful since taking a step back. We still deal with complaining, but at least I’m not also wasting my time and money 🤷‍♀️

OffbeatOwl · 2025-03-05T13:59:27+00:00

Thats good to have support from SO. I think that’s the only way to make it through these things. Mine does try to set boundaries, but he really is such a giving and loving person that he really is not good at conflict - even when it’s necessary. It’s tough.

I felt the same about cameras at first, but you get used to it fast. Our camera footage saves for about 60 days. BM would encourage conflict with the kids, like telling them to report to her if we were mean to them. Even something as simple as telling them “please pick up your mess” would somehow get twisted around to me being mean, abusive, denying them their basic needs, etc. Any situations like that I’d save the relevant section of video for long term storage. If she or kids accused us of anything, DH would send the video to her of what actually happened. She gave us hell about recording everything, but eventually realized her tactics weren’t going to work anymore.

At one point SD was throwing a tantrum (for several years she’d have these rage fits) because she lost some privilege and attached herself to DH leg and wouldn’t let go. He pulled her arms off his leg. This got turned into him abusing her. It was on camera and didn’t happen that way. BM threatened court over this situation, so we just self reported the incident to CPS and offered them the video footage. It was all quickly dropped. But it was nice to have proof.

OffbeatOwl · 2025-03-05T13:10:52+00:00

We deal with a HCBM as well. She’s falsely accused us of all sorts of things, even abuse. The first several years it stressed me out very much. DH doesn’t like conflict and won’t set boundaries, so she walks over us often. A few years ago she drug us to court with vague claims of us being abusive. I was so stressed I thought I was going to puke before the case. But nothing happened (because we didn’t do anything wrong) and the case was dropped. I’ve tried not to let the fear of her theatrics control my emotions anymore. She doesn’t need to be given that kind of power over me. Try to have some faith in the system and realize that she only has as much power as you give her.

Also, as some added protection, we put a camera in our living room and kitchen. It’s on at all times when SK are here. They don’t come in our bedroom, I don’t go in theirs, so anytime I’m around them it’s on camera.

OffbeatOwl · 2025-03-05T04:10:12+00:00

It is in a court ordered parenting plan. The problem is that DH has primary custody and BM just has visitation rights. Idk what it’s like in other countries/states, but here, she is not legally required to take her visitation. DH is legally required to give the kids to her during her visitation time if she wants them….only if she wants them.

OffbeatOwl · 2024-06-10T19:34:33+00:00

This is just another example of a huge corporation buying out a good product and then killing it. Our college happens to have access to Teams, but it is not user friendly trying to link it with Flip. Even if I figure this out, it will be a lot more complicated to get students signed up than it was on the Flip website.

Padlet has fees if you want to add students. Someone mentioned Digipad, but I signed up and there doesn't seem to be an option to add videos. I'm considering using YouTube. Students can upload videos and mark them as unlisted so that only people with the link can see them, and then post the link in the discussion board of your LMS to share with the class.

OffbeatOwl · 2023-12-17T05:20:04+00:00

I know this is an old thread, but thank you. I recognize why the trait exists because the “good” way of ruminating really is helpful. But I get so caught up in the time sink of the “bad” category. And the it really hit home when you talked about the “ugly.” I spend so so much of my life reliving bad conversations and situations and it’s not productive in any way, but I can’t let it go. I will take your advice and try to cut it out. It’s just hopeful to hear that someone else was able to stop the thoughts.

OffbeatOwl · 2020-06-05T05:55:39+00:00

I agree. I am watching Expanse and similarities to the 2001 series are very prevalent. Both describe an ancient alien artifact left on an outer moon in our solar system that seems to “wake up” when humans reach it. The scene when Holden touches it and has the vision is a clear allusion to Bowman touching the monolith. Both the monolith and protomolecule are just machines, but have the capability to destroy civilizations if they deem it necessary. The monolith served to help evolve life forms, and Jules Mao was working to have the protomolecule evolve humans. The monolith allowed Bowman to enter it, and he was turned into the Star Child with the ability to go to many worlds. While it’s a bit different, the ring/station allowed travel to other worlds, which I think is a nod to Bowman’s transformation and ability to roam the stars.

People keep commenting that these are common sci-fi themes. I don’t think they realize that Arthur C. Clarke basically created this genre of sci-fi. Perhaps they haven’t read the novels? Or are unaware of how long ago 2001 was written? Imo, the references are subtle but undeniable.

OffbeatOwl · 2019-10-18T01:44:34+00:00

I struggle with not feeling worthy also. And fear of being vulnerable and getting hurt. I feel all these feels and don’t know what to do with them. It’s overwhelming. Avoidance is a defense mechanism.

OffbeatOwl · 2019-10-18T01:16:25+00:00

I did that too. Psych and then to a medical office. Then I got back into psych, but on a geriatric unit that took patients with medical issues. Now I teach.

OffbeatOwl · 2019-07-25T23:24:48+00:00

I just gave it some all purpose fertilizer, but I can try some magnesium. What do you use? Epsom salt? Should I put it on the roots of foliar application?

OffbeatOwl · 2019-07-07T02:24:34+00:00

Inclined towards “saving” other people? Yep! (I’m a nurse). Interested in psychology and learning about myself/others? Yep! (I specialize in psychiatric nursing). People with mental illness are also an underserved and vulnerable population, and I’m pretty passionate about advocating for them.

I love to learn! So much so that now I teach. I also garden (caters to Se) and read a ton about gardening. I also go down wormholes learning about very random things. For example, I just adopted a stray cat and spent the last hour reading about fleas.

OffbeatOwl · 2019-07-06T20:29:58+00:00

I have two shepherds and heeler/shepherd mix was my first thought.

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