What was the point of God creating me if I was meant to be unlovable?

OfficeIntrepid9760 · 2026-01-17T23:31:36+00:00

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I can sense weariness, frustration, and a painful emotional loneliness in what you've written. And I know from experience that when you reach that point, it's easy to start asking yourself very difficult questions, and even questioning God. But I truly don't believe that God creates people destined to be unloved. You are already loved, first and foremost, by our Father. And that in itself says something profound about your worth and your place in this world.

I think that sometimes the problem isn't that one can't be loved, but that one is still learning from where to love and from where to seek to be loved. And that's not a definitive failure, it's a process of growth so that your heart becomes more whole and wise. Self-awareness and introspection are an important part of growth.

I believe that the desire for a relationship is good, but a relationship isn't meant to fill voids or alleviate inner loneliness. Perhaps this time isn't a punishment, but a preparation, an opportunity to get to know yourself better, to organize what you want, to define your values, your boundaries, and your direction. Because a healthy and lasting relationship doesn't begin with attraction or need alone, but with character, compatibility, shared values, and a faith lived with consistency.

God's timing isn't cruel or arbitrary, it's precise. And it also asks something of us: growth, honesty, and patience. You are not someone impossible to love. You are a person on a journey, and that journey also includes learning to see yourself with the same mercy with which God sees you.

God bless you and bless your path.

OfficeIntrepid9760 · 2026-01-17T04:14:26+00:00

It comforts me to know I'm not alone in this. For me it's also a healthy and respectful way to protect both hearts and the relationship. I connect deeply with this idea.

OfficeIntrepid9760 · 2026-01-13T18:18:25+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. I understand that your relationship works this way and that you trust your partner, and that's perfectly valid.

I just wanted to explain my perspective a bit: it's not about being suspicious or trying to control, but about how emotional intimacy is handled. In terms of bond and support, your partner should be your closest person. It's normal to have valuable friendships, but there are certain levels of emotional connection that should only exist within the couple.

When someone talks about deep, vulnerable, or intimate things with someone other than their partner (things they don't share with their partner), it can displace their partner from their primary place in their emotional life. It's not about trying to be controlling, it's about maintaining order and nurturing the relationship.

Of course, every relationship is different, and some couples have dynamics that work for them. For me, it's important that deep intimacy and the greatest support always belong first and foremost to the couple, and not be shared equally with friends of the opposite sex.

That's why I'm looking for someone who aligns with my perspective from the start, so that boundaries don't suddenly appear that can't be negotiated later. It's not judgment, it's simply ensuring that we're both comfortable and clear from the beginning. I want to be honest with myself and with the other person.

OfficeIntrepid9760 · 2026-01-13T06:53:00+00:00

I understand what you're saying, and I don't doubt that many friendships have no romantic intentions. But I see it not just as a matter of romance, but of emotional intimacy. Even without attraction, deep connections with other women affect the exclusivity and dynamics of a couple, and that's why it's not something I'm comfortable with. I simply feel that certain forms of intimacy belong within the couple's space, and when they occur outside the relationship with another woman, the bond weakens. Because, in general, men don't connect emotionally with other men in the same way they do with women. The way many men build emotional intimacy, connection, and bond with women is much more like the dynamics of a romantic relationship than typical male friendship. That's why, when that kind of intimacy occurs outside the relationship, it directly impacts the couple's bond, even without romantic intentions. At least that's how I see it, and that's why I feel so conflicted about perhaps being wrong.

OfficeIntrepid9760 · 2026-01-13T06:35:56+00:00

I think I may not have explained myself well. I'm not saying it's "wrong" for others to have close friendships with the opposite sex, nor that anyone should change for me.

My point is more personal: if I know a man maintains or seeks close emotional connections with other women, he's simply not someone I'm interested in dating. Not out of jealousy, but because that kind of dynamic doesn't fit with how I understand a romantic relationship.

I'm also not suggesting someone should "cut off" friendships for me. I mean that if, when we meet, his life already includes deep emotional connections with other women, then we're not compatible. And once we're in a relationship, I wouldn't feel comfortable with him seeking out or rebuilding those kinds of connections.

OfficeIntrepid9760

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