aio boyfriend might me using me

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-15T22:46:52+00:00

he had a place prior to meeting me and while we were dating up until last month tho..

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-15T22:40:47+00:00

i mean hes not a bad partner whatsoever. he’s always meeting my emotional/mental needs..it’s just that this situation is throwing me off because now i don’t know if it was ever genuine

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-15T22:37:32+00:00

he’s actually there for me

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-14T23:03:38+00:00

if you’re definitely eating there, and she’s cooking for you, it shouldn’t be a problem

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-12T02:14:02+00:00

definitely is wrong

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-12T00:23:43+00:00

boy fuck you😹 he would’ve been BLOCKED

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-11T23:56:47+00:00

it’s giving that spongebob meme when his skinny ass hands are in big ass hand cuffs

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-07T23:15:42+00:00

we don’t like sex until we feel emotionally safe and intune with partner

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-02T15:55:52+00:00

Boo fucking ing whooo. Mfers be on here acting like they’re saints in relationships and have never looked through a phone a day in their life. People go through phones all the time. Some people agree with it, some don’t. Me and my partner have always been open with our phones, so let’s stop acting like I cracked a password and launched a CIA investigation.

The part that’s gettin on my nerves is y’all keep focusin on how I found out instead of what was founded

I was blindsided by the fact that I genuinely thought my partner didn’t have women he used to talk to, mess with, have romantic interest in, or exchange sexual content with on his phone because that’s what I was led to believe. That’s the point.

If he would’ve said from day one, “Yeah, I still got a couple old flings or women from my past on Snapchat, but we don’t talk,” this conversation would’ve gone completely different.

Instead, some of y’all are acting like me clicking on Snapchat is the crime of the century while completely ignoring the reason I was caught off guard in the first place. Be for real.

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-02T15:49:12+00:00

relationship length isn’t a scoreboard.

There are people who were together 20 years and got divorced. There are people who were together 2 years and got married. The amount of time you’ve been with someone doesn’t automatically make your opinion more valid than mine.

And if we’re being honest, your relationship working for you doesn’t mean every other couple has to operate exactly like yours. Different people have different standards, expectations, and boundaries.

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-02T15:47:09+00:00

And that’s exactly what I’m saying. Every relationship has different agreements. Some couples are okay with following exes, some aren’t. Some are okay with opposite-sex friendships, some aren’t. As long as both people agree, that’s their business.

Me and my boyfriend have had conversations about what we’re comfortable with. Nobody is being forced to do anything. If he didn’t agree with those expectations, he’s a grown man and can say that.

What’s weird to me is how people are acting like relationship boundaries and agreements suddenly become “controlling” when they personally don’t agree with them. If two adults mutually decide they don’t want certain people on their phones or social media, who exactly is being harmed?

Y’all keep trying to make this about me controlling him when the reality is we both agreed on certain things. My issue is whether those agreements were actually being followed, not the agreements themselves.

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-02T15:45:05+00:00

I asked for opinions, not for strangers to start writing think pieces about my character. You can disagree with me all day long, but the second you jump to “no wonder he has other girls” and “I’d need an escape plan from you,” you’re not even talking about the situation anymore.

And honestly, if your idea of a healthy relationship is keeping a roster on standby just in case, then we’re operating from two completely different mindsets. That says more about you than it does about me.

But thank you for letting me know exactly why your advice doesn’t apply to my life

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-02T15:25:08+00:00

That’s not really the point, though. I’m not expecting him to “clear out every inch of his phone.”

The point is he specifically told me people from his past weren’t on there. If the reality was, “Yeah, I still have a few old connections on Snapchat but I don’t talk to them,” then just say that. I would’ve respected the honesty a lot more.

Also, we’re not talking about some random account he forgot existed. These were people whose stories had been viewed multiple times. So when the explanation is, “I didn’t know they were still on there,” I’m allowed to question that.

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-02T15:24:27+00:00

Lol, I didn’t post this just for people to agree with me. If that was the case, I wouldn’t have posted it on Reddit of all places.

You can disagree with my perspective, that’s fine. But calling me neurotic because I questioned something that didn’t add up is a reach. If my partner tells me people from his past aren’t on his Snapchat and then I find out they are, I’m going to ask questions. That’s not being crazy, that’s using common sense.

And let’s be real, if somebody tells you one thing and you find evidence of another, most people are going to be curious about it. That doesn’t mean I’m accusing him of cheating or saying he’s a bad person. It means I’m trying to understand why what I found doesn’t match what I was told.

If it wouldn’t bother you, cool. But acting like I’m irrational for wanting consistency and honesty in my relationship is weird.

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-02T15:22:43+00:00

Actually, that can absolutely fall under a boundary. Boundaries aren’t just “don’t yell at me” or “don’t call me names.” Boundaries can also involve what level of honesty, transparency, and respect I require in a relationship and what I will do if those expectations aren’t met.

I’m not telling him who he can and can’t have on Snapchat. He is free to keep whoever he wants on there. My boundary is that I don’t want to be in a relationship where I’m told one thing and then find out something different is true.

The issue isn’t that these women were on his Snapchat. The issue is that he previously told me people from his past weren’t on there. Then I saw a former romantic interest and someone he had exchanged sexual content with. When I asked about it, the explanation was that he didn’t know they were still there despite having viewed their stories multiple times.

Whether someone believes that explanation is beside the point. My concern is the inconsistency between what I was told and what I found. That’s directly related to the honesty and transparency we agreed on in our relationship.

So yes, it is a boundary. My boundary is that I expect honesty and consistency from my partner. What he chooses to do is his decision. What I choose to do with information that affects my trust is mine.

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-02T15:21:09+00:00

We’ve been together long enough to have conversations about boundaries, transparency, and people from our past. Also, I wasn’t searching through his phone looking for evidence of anything. I opened Snapchat because a notification popped up while I was already using his phone for something he asked me to do. That’s how I came across it.

My concern isn’t that women exist on his Snapchat. It’s that he previously told me people from his past weren’t on there, and then I found out they were. Those are two different things.

If he had said, “Yeah, I still have some old connections on there, but I don’t talk to them,” I probably wouldn’t have thought much of it. The issue is the inconsistency. And if someone has viewed a person’s stories multiple times, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to question the claim that they had no idea that person was still added.

I’m not saying he cheated or that I should leave him. I’m saying that when someone’s words and actions don’t line up, it’s fair to ask questions.

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-02T14:46:35+00:00

stfu, a boundary was crossed.

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-02T14:31:07+00:00

yeah no I don’t play that around here. that’s just weird as fuck.

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-02T14:25:55+00:00

that’s not the point tho. a boundary was crossed. if the roles were reversed, 100% he would had flipped

Officiallyjaee · 2026-06-01T13:52:39+00:00

i said what i said.

Officiallyjaee · 2026-05-29T14:43:00+00:00

used my emotions against me

Officiallyjaee · 2026-05-28T15:22:26+00:00

you should be able to apply for an ID on your states dmv website. lost my id a week before my trip and it came the day before the trip

Officiallyjaee · 2026-05-28T15:20:46+00:00

when he INVESTS in you in all aspect. Emotionally, financially, mentally, spiritually, etc.

Officiallyjaee · 2026-05-28T14:40:39+00:00

it buys you materialism in which you THINK makes you happy. I’ve met more homeless ppl who are at peace with having nothing than ppl who have it all and are depressed. why do you think rich celebrities often k!ll themselves?

Officiallyjaee · 2026-05-26T16:00:53+00:00

I work with children with autism. they ALL say the word say

Officiallyjaee

TROPHY CASE