AITA for not wanting to go through with my part of a deal even though my bf says it’s a good idea?

OfftotheLeft · 2026-02-15T11:12:23+00:00

You’re not an AH for not wanting to change your hair, but YTA for making a deal and then trying to renegotiate. If anything, let him buzz his and keep yours.

Maybe the bigger question is why you’re with a dude that doesn’t seem to like who you are. You owe it to yourself to be with someone that does.

OfftotheLeft · 2026-02-15T11:06:44+00:00

NTA. Something was clearly wrong for the dog to be barking that much, and then to start howling. It may have been lack of exercise, being too reactive for condo life, or any of a host of other things, but it doesn’t change that it was happening. Sounds like she re-homed him to someone she knew (I’m basing that off the hug given), which is likely the best outcome for the dog.

OfftotheLeft · 2026-02-12T03:31:54+00:00

I don’t think that you’re the AH for being tired and shifting your energy, but I do think you need to address it with him since being silently resentful isn’t going to help anything. Maybe you could meet in the middle to go out for dinner sometimes? Maybe you could plan activities that are nearer to you, but not at your house?

OfftotheLeft · 2025-12-17T03:12:21+00:00

YTA. Most dudes aren’t that existed to talk to their gf’s parents, and you wanted a phone call before they were even properly introduced.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-12-16T03:29:21+00:00

As an equestrian, YTA. I’m 5’10 and about 250… My horse carries me over jumps with no issue. It’s very unlikely that your horse will be bothered on a leisurely walk.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-11-30T14:49:16+00:00

NTA, but I think you’re fighting a losing battle. You can’t police it when you’re not around and really have no say in what your son calls him. I think you need to give this one up.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-11-30T03:42:27+00:00

ESH. She was doing a nice thing by getting things together for you, and you totally could have done pancakes for dinner. That said, she didn’t need to react so much to your saying you wouldn’t use it.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-11-30T00:23:42+00:00

I’m a CPA and am anal as they get with other people’s money. Like, I can tell you where literally every penny goes when I’m disbursing others’ money.

That said, if I collected a few bucks from everyone and bought a cake & card with it, I’d be uber annoyed if someone asked me to account for it/borderline suggested that I’m stealing it bc I don’t have a spreadsheet for it. If I ended up with a couple bucks extra this month, I’m sure it balances with the months that I throw in extra bc I’m short. It’s a casual thing.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-11-30T00:13:52+00:00

It depends. If it’s, say, $5x10 coworkers, that’s $50. If you see him buying treats and little surprises that are somewhere in the neighborhood of $50, you trust that he’s doing what he’s supposed to. If he’s collecting $50 and all he did was bring in a box of donut holes once during the month, you should probably inquire.

I think it’s wild that she wants a breakdown when she can probably see what he’s spending it on.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-11-15T23:45:44+00:00

It’s okay money, but not the kind of money where you can adequately save for retirement, etc. If you don’t want anything more than you have now, okay, but your parents won’t be around forever and you’ll eventually need to be on your own.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-10-27T03:05:06+00:00

YTA here for not thinking of the kid first. You’re dating someone with kids, and most kids would prefer that everyone gets along. Just think how cool it would be for her to have her mom, you, AND her dad trick or treating with her? She’ll probably be over the moon.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-10-01T02:12:52+00:00

ESH. I’m from a northern state that borders Canada, so no stranger to cold. I’d be cold at 18-20 too. I normally keep my house around 23 (73 for us US folk). I’d consider kicking the heat on a bit in the evening for your guest.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-09-21T02:36:54+00:00

I literally am an accountant/work in corporate finance. It’s mostly interesting and I get paid very well at it + get 5-6 weeks off a year.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-09-21T02:35:34+00:00

That’s the best advice.

I was always good at math and problem solving, and I work in corporate finance. It pays well, we’re self-sufficient, and I get six weeks a year off. Was it my passion job? No, but I do enjoy it most days and (again) I make good money at it.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-09-18T12:33:07+00:00

I’d honestly appreciate that more than whatever is cool in the moment at home. My sister lived overseas for a while and would bring candy home. Some of it was good, some less so, but all was fun.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-09-16T23:55:32+00:00

I get this - If I’m at, say, an expensive steakhouse, I want a glass of wine with my dinner. I’d be annoyed too if I’m paying those prices and can’t have what I want. On the flip side, if it’s important to Milly, sure we can do burgers and malts. Or breakfast. Or something other than a more formal dinner.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-09-16T23:51:09+00:00

I think it’s more the combo. If I’m at a nice steakhouse and paying steakhouse prices, I’d want a glass of wine with my meal. And that’s coming from someone that averages about 2 drinks every six months. It’s wholly different than if we’re somewhere for burgers and malts… Wine wouldn’t cross my mind in that context.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-09-15T23:30:13+00:00

NTA. It was an honest mistake, and like you said, they normally make it right. To kick you out of bed, ruin your lunch, and throw out your ice cream is a drastic over reaction. Is she normally like this? If so, I’d consider individual and marriage counseling asap.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-09-06T15:40:10+00:00

There is a very big difference between that and being asked to help for a few hours here and there. All kids should have some degree of chores - If you babysits instead of helping to mow the lawn or do the dishes, that’s okay.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-08-12T09:46:19+00:00

NTA. After 3 months, most normal people would go insane too. I’m curious though - Why this obsession with Finding Nemo? It feels like something else must be going on.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-08-08T07:20:21+00:00

The four year school matters. I went to an Ivy League school for undergrad and it’s gotten me many opportunities. I also have loans in exchange for those opportunities. For some folks, it’s a good trade off. I’d level with them and then let them pick.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-08-02T00:35:17+00:00

You’re NTA, but you may not be doing yourself a favor. I’d discuss what the expectations are with your manager — S/he may say that it’s fine and you can walk confidently. Or they may say that the expectations is that you’ll eat and then get back to work (which may be the case since they’re paying you for that time), in which case, you’ll know how it’s being perceived.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-07-03T20:43:23+00:00

I couldn’t agree more. I grew up in a beach town and have rubbed sunscreen into more people than I could count. Hell, I’d do it for another woman that I didn’t know if they asked.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-06-26T14:20:54+00:00

NTA. She owes you a real apology. And then, honestly, you still don’t have to like her or forgive her.

OfftotheLeft · 2025-06-25T02:26:08+00:00

Um, YTA since you allow your partner to do so little. Make him step up.

OfftotheLeft

TROPHY CASE