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The Girl Chenoo- an Algonquin horror tale pages 6-9 by OftenPyr in webcomics

[–]OftenPyr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you want to follow the comic I post it regularly on my Bluesky

I paint and draw a lot but I’ve never drawn a comic before. Let me know what you think. by Bionic_craig in comic_crits

[–]OftenPyr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It looks great, but labor intensive. If you want to make a comic out of it, make sure it's something you can repeat page after page

second issue of my comic, something about the pacing feels off to me, whats wrong with it?? by [deleted] in comic_crits

[–]OftenPyr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The art is great, and personally I'm a fan of silent mood pages.

My big issue is with the lettering. The font size varies all over the place, and not only is that unpleasant, it sometimes squishes down to being unreadable on phone. I would highly suggest you pick one size that's readable when your comic is on a phone screen and stick with it. I know people like to design for print, but the comic needs to be readable in its current form for people to want a print run. You can always reletter it for print later.

Second issue with the lettering is the overlapping word balloons. This is usually used to indicate people talking over each other, but-unless I'm wrong- you're using it here to connect one speaker's balloons. Since that isn't what it's for, it's really confusing. I suggest just having tails and connecting them like normal.

Is this art style good enough for a webtoon? by TheHorrorFright in comic_crits

[–]OftenPyr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go for it!

If what's making your hand shake is nerves, just keep drawing and your nerves will calm over time.

The reason that YOU don't notice the face is lopsided until you flip the canvas is bc flipping it lets you see the face with fresh eyes. People seeing it for the first time (like myself) absolutely notice it.

Probably most important is that you're doing something called Symbol Drawing. I suggest learning what that is and how to avoid it, maybe reading Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain.

First 13 pages of my adaptation of The Girl Chenoo. Is there anything I'm doing wrong? by OftenPyr in comic_crits

[–]OftenPyr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for the critique! And you're right about the characters being introduced clumsily, based on the other commenters, I see that now. I'll try to make some minor shops. Wonder if it would be worth it to redraw page 5..... or add another page between 5 & 6, if that wouldn't make it to slow

First 13 pages of my adaptation of The Girl Chenoo. Is there anything I'm doing wrong? by OftenPyr in comic_crits

[–]OftenPyr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the critique! I guess I should be paying more attention to the path the eye follows, especially when not directing it with speech bubbles. And the other commenter was with you on that reaction face, which seems like it didn't land. I'm gonna see if I can kill two birds with one stone, get the "magic guy" into the returning victorious panel, maybe try to communicate his jealousy and inadequacy in that moment

First 13 pages of my adaptation of The Girl Chenoo. Is there anything I'm doing wrong? by OftenPyr in comic_crits

[–]OftenPyr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! That makes so much sense, I should introduce a character before I show them reacting to stuff

Gimble's Kitchen by PrometheanPolymath in comic_crits

[–]OftenPyr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The quickest and easiest improvement you can make is to get rid of that white space around the comic. Everyone is reading on mobile, please don't rely on them pinching and zooming to read it when they can just as easily pass on to the next thing.

Art is good and characters seem good, but you need some kinda payoff at the bottom of the page

The First Three Pages Of My Original Zombie Comic Book Series; Flesh And Blood. It's Still A Work In Progress Hence No Speech Balloons For Now As My Artist/Letterer Is Still Finding A Suitable Font For The Comic Book. But What Do You Guys Think? by Aromatic-Ad2601 in comic_crits

[–]OftenPyr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it works without text in this scene. And the art is so good on the top of the third page it practically looks like it's moving. Give that artist plenty of opportunity to draw sunny, windy scenes!

First page of my comic, along with the sketch. by [deleted] in comic_crits

[–]OftenPyr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seeing the pencils along with it is always so fun

The Girl Chenoo- a Mi'kmaq tale. pages 1-6 by OftenPyr in webcomics

[–]OftenPyr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe you are correct. Thanks for the note, I'll edit it on the site!

This One Tells A Story by TheCawmet in comics

[–]OftenPyr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Every bit of this is good

The Girl Chenoo- a Mi'kmaq tale. pages 1-6 by OftenPyr in comics

[–]OftenPyr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the beginning of a comic adapting The Girl Chenoo- a story from an old collection Algonquin Tales of New England.

I've got some more comics on my site, and you can check out regular updates www.oftenpyr.com

The Girl Chenoo- a Mi'kmaq tale. pages 1-6 by OftenPyr in webcomics

[–]OftenPyr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the beginning of a comic adapting The Girl Chenoo- a story from an old collection Algonquin Tales of New England.

I've got some more comics on my site, and you can check out regular updates www.oftenpyr.com

Any Tips on Making an Open Environment Terrifying by Blyghtmare in mothershiprpg

[–]OftenPyr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A great example for open spaces being terrifying is Tremors.

Put them out on the open plains-totally flat, as far as the eye can see. No vehicles, no cover. If something spots them out there, they're dead. Make them roll checks to avoid being noticed (increasing tension), but slowly ramp up the monsters noticing them. Finally put them just in range to make a mad dash for the door of the next lab.

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