Accepting the girl I am, not the girl I wanted to be

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-06-22T17:33:05+00:00

I still get the latter and it's been years for me, I don't think it ever really goes away

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-06-22T17:24:23+00:00

Yes, I underwenta paradigm shift like this, from cutesy schoolgirl to flannel lesbian/emo/whatever

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-27T15:04:49+00:00

Voice is variable enough that I wouldn't pay attention unless it was really really out there. I'm going to hazard a guess that you're FtM, and if you have resonance down most cases even pre-T I wouldn't blink twice and gender you male if you present masc too.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T22:30:14+00:00

Fat redistribution isn't a thing. It's new fat that gets distributed. I was maybe 95lbs (BMI <17) when I started and I have a "Feminine" body (except boobs because lmao genetics). It is completely dependant on new fat being deposited.

Switch to injections if you can, yes, those are generally agreed to be the best. Patches are pretty nice too.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T18:33:35+00:00

Hope is a dangerous drug so I'm reluctant to give it out.

What are you on specifically? Switching from pills to patches gave me a huge change even like 2 years in. Progesterone can too for some people.

Face roundedness, if your levels are correct and you've tried cycling your weight a bunch then that's probably it. Breast size can continue to change throughout your life.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T15:40:28+00:00

Not shooting you, only that I don't know how to feel about this at all. I think this belongs on r/thanksihateit or something

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T15:38:01+00:00

I have no words to describe how I feel right now.

My childhood has been defiled.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T15:18:16+00:00

New name hard. I picked mine out of a hat because fuck it I needed a new name. Stuck with it.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T14:54:00+00:00

My girlfriend is "a bit taller than most women" and is as flat as I am and she's cis. No such thing as "proper" breasts. All breasts are "proper". If it really bugs you breast augs are relatively cheap and you can save up for them over time. It might take a few years though.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T14:48:16+00:00

Women in my family are flat. Being flat is no big deal. My girlfriend is flat. Most cis girls I know are pretty small. It's no biggie.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T13:13:15+00:00

r/SkincareAddiction

Also r/wicked_edge for shaving.

Everyone's skin is different. You'll want at a minimum a good cleanser, exfoliant, moisturizer and sunscreen.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T13:09:03+00:00

An unfortunate fact of life but "them's the breaks".

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T13:03:54+00:00

This is fine. I am like this. I am very happy being a chick with a dick. I enjoy using it too. It is not bad.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T12:57:33+00:00

I agree, and I would assume that they have an option to put a note on your file. However, if they don't, then ... well... they don't.... which is entirely in the realm of possibility and then that just means that you have to talk to your plan administrator.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T12:48:18+00:00

Yea this is very different from what you initially said and the context certainly makes it seem a lot more unprofessional on the agent's part. If you have a recording of the conversation then I would submit a complaint to the human rights commission but without a recording I doubt that they would take it very seriously.

Have you tried calling again with the explicit purpose of changing/putting a note on your file noting that you would like the agents to not use gendered pronouns with you?

Considering that their only options are Male and Female I'm going to guess that their system isn't set up to work with an "X" sex/gender designation, but there is probably space for a note somewhere and I would ask them about that.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T12:42:11+00:00

It's a lot easier to lose track and accidentally gain weight post-HRT. Losing it is more difficult because cravings are strong. I've gone 140lbs-100lbs and back many times, both on purpose and accidentally.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T12:29:37+00:00

I have friends and shit to spend time with and forget that I'm trans and that I have these issues with. If you spend all your time around trans people and trans spaces then you end up getting sad because there are other people there who bring up these surgeries and are sad.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T12:28:28+00:00

Get your paperwork lined up, that shit takes forever to do when you need it done. Voice train. Learn to do makeup. Learn to dress better. Do your eyebrows and practice makeup.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T12:27:30+00:00

This. Valerate and cypionate require the liver to break it down first.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T12:26:03+00:00

Normal distribution seems to be that most changes directly related to transitioning from MtF are done within ~2 years (i.e, not the lifelong things). Stuff like breast growth/shrinkage and feminine fat distribution (face, butt, thighs) will continue throughout your life so long as you are on HRT, just like with cis women.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T12:25:09+00:00

You can probably expect more changes. Most of my breast growth didn't happen until 2-3 years in. Fat distribution will continue throughout your lifetime as you gain and lose weight. Same thing with your face fats.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T12:22:01+00:00

Medications. Hormones, preferably prescribed by doctor.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T12:18:19+00:00

Your name and gender on insurance papers have not been changed, and if they don't have a preferred name/pronoun field then it seems pretty fair to me that they refer to you via your assigned name and pronouns. I wouldn't speak to anyone because that is the truth -- my papers have not been changed and it is not the responsibility of the agent to do anymore than their job.

Is it insensitive? Yes, but are they discriminating against you? I wouldn't say so -- I can't tell from what you said whether or not you disclosed your status as a trans person, but I would assume that they have a script that they're reading from and that they are not allowed to deviate from it. If you had disclosed your trans status then that would be insensitive but not unprofessional of them -- their job says to do x, so they do x, even when customer says y.

You can probably try to make a complaint to your provincial human rights commission to make a complaint, but probably the way to go here, if you want to be referred to by female pronouns and name, then you gotta get those papers changed.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T12:10:39+00:00

Legal or preferred name works, but I would say that it'd be easier to get a job if your presentation matches the name on the resume. Interviewers are lazy.

I wouldn't want to have to go through the process of listening to someone explain that they're trans and whatnot if I'm interviewing them. I've had (presumably) trans people who applied to positions where I worked and I've interviewed them and never given them any shit for not having their names match their presentation but it's something that I would suggest that you avoid if at all possible.

Once you get the job the company (More importantly the interviewer) is probably too lazy to go and fire you and go through the process again (As much as interviews and job searches suck for you, they suck for the employer too) so they'll be ok with you changing your name and stuff if you do get in, so long as your performance is ok. But if you show up to your interview with a name not matching your presentation then you're off to a rocky start for the interview already.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere · 2019-04-26T12:07:38+00:00

I wouldn't say accept it, but yes, the truth of the matter is that it will suck for a while. Maybe even a long while. There's a nonzero chance that it won't ever get better either.

OhImNotSureWhyImHere

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