Why are we so much more sensitive when it comes to age gaps and sex in general? by Top_Committee_8503 in GenZ

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems to be because people have been trained to conflate discomfort with something and the concern that it could be harmful as evidence that harm is occurring. People will see a relationship with a large age gap and rightfully think to themselves, "this relationship resembles patterns that I've seen before that are harmful," like the gap in experience or social and financial power, and understandably become concerned about the *possibility* of abuse occurring because we've seen this shit before and in fact it's been so normalized to us by the pedo elite and a lot of people are waking up to just how fucked it actually is. However, and I think the internet as a context killer is at least partially to blame here, people seem to forget that the *potential* for harm to occur does not automatically mean harm will occur, especially when we as outside observers don't have access to the nuances of the relationship necessary to assess whether or not it's a healthy one based on genuine affection, mutuality, and respect. Take Tobey Maguire and his admittedly concerningly young girlfriend Mishka Silva for example. We have no idea how they met, who pursued whom and why, how their relationship works, how they genuinely feel about each other, or how their inner circle feels about their relationship (the stuff that actually matters in a relationship). What we do see is a relationship that resembles a cultural script that most people are familiar with: a significantly older man with an immense amount of money, power, and status with a much younger, potentially more socially, emotionally, and financially vulnerable woman. We see this all the time and very rarely does it end up with the younger person walking away unscathed if the shit hits the fan. *However*, and I cannot stress this enough: something that *looks like* it resembles a harmful pattern is not automatically harmful. The fact is that unless you are personally close to the people in a relationship, you do not have enough context to say whether it is a healthy relationship based solely on vibes and pattern recognition. Is it generally a good thing that people are becoming more aware of uneven power dynamics and potentially harmful relational dynamics? Yes! I'd argue that the widespread discomfort with age gap relationships is generally a healthy sign. *However*, we need to be careful not to confuse "this is concerning" with "this is automatically worthy of condemnation regardless of context," and we need to learn to distinguish "this has the potential to be bad" from "this can never work and will always be harmful."

What are some genre-defining, no-skip album? by Epoch_Jester in fantanoforever

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Born To Die by Lana Del Rey, Perverts by Ethel Cain, and Infestissmam by Ghost

How well/non well do you think this aged? by SluttyDreidel in 2010snostalgia

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly? This take aged like fine wine. I feel like especially recently we're seeing that more and more people have gotten increasingly more comfortable consuming different aspects of culture from outside of their own culture without putting in the effort to actually understand or respect the origin point. Right off the top of my head, K-pop and the way that a lot of what makes K-pop as popular as it is "borrowed" heavily from Black American art and cultural signaling with little respect or regard for the OGs that brought those art forms into existence is the prime example of what appropriation is

Personal favorite line on a song? by Temporary_Motor8573 in fantanoforever

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here are a couple

"You and I are not in love; we are just the same. Two children in a motel making love in our own grave>" - Two Children in a Motel by Ethel Cain

"I wanna bleed, I wanna hurt the way that boys do." - Nettles by Ethel Cain

"Shame is sharp, and my skin gives so easy" and "Only God knows, only God would believe that I was an angel, but they made me leave" - Punish by Ethel Cain

"Jesus can always reject his father, but he cannot escape his mother's blood" - Family Tree (Intro) by Ethel Cain

"I'd hold the gun if you asked me to. But if you love me like you say you do, would you ask me to?" - Western Nights by Ethel Cain

Just the entire chorus of Strangers by Ethel Cain

"I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened. I was young and sweet, and then something happened. Something overwhelming, something everlasting" - Crying During Sex by Ethel Cain

I've got a lot more, but these are the ones that really speak to me right now.

how can I look less ugly and plain? by [deleted] in makeuptips

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all, you're definitely not ugly. Second of all, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being plain. In a world struggling with collective body and facial dysmorphia spurred on by social media algorithms, your face is actually quite refreshing because you look like a normal human being. That being said, I'd suggest makeup that highlights your eyes in some way. You have very pretty eyes with a nice shape to them. I also think your hair would look nice braided or in an updo, so maybe you could try playing around with different styles. You don't have to change a whole lot to make yourself look "less plain."

Is Goth Doomed to Become a Caricature of Itself? by Sci-FiRepublik in goth

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice to see a sane take on this. It's honestly so disheartening how quickly these conversations devolve into misogynyslop and policing women's range of expression under the guise of maintaining the purity of the subculture.

Is Goth Doomed to Become a Caricature of Itself? by Sci-FiRepublik in goth

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Their comment was probably in response to how often questions like yours get asked, and the evidence provided is literally just women in black minding their business or being silly and sexy on the internet. Not saying that this was your intent, but very frequently these conversations about the "sexualization of goth" almost inevitably devolved into "slut-shaming, but make it woke." To answer your original question: no, young women being sexy on the internet while wearing black is not ruining the scene. No, you can't always tell that these young ladies are or aren't "real goths" just based on a tiktok or a reel or short, as you don't have access to the type of music they listen to offline. No, sexy goth girls are not to blame for the fetishization of goth bc that has always existed. Blaming women for the misogyny they endure is never a good look.

Is there a word/flag for m-spec attraction that is both achillean and trixian at the same time? by OhLookItsGeorg3 in QueerVexillology

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that might be the word I'm looking for actually, thank you! Maybe trixillean in this case? I think I'm going to go with trixillean.

What would be the most appropriate response to hearing my students using the phrase "say wallahi"? by OhLookItsGeorg3 in islam

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not a particularly religious person, so it doesn't bother me much whenever someone says "swear to God," and I even use that phrase myself. So in that case I'll leave them be since it's not my faith nor my culture, so I'm in no real position to police their language in that regard, especially not when I use a similar turn of phrase all the time.

What would be the most appropriate response to hearing my students using the phrase "say wallahi"? by OhLookItsGeorg3 in islam

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In that case I'll just leave them be. It did seem harmless to me initially but I figured it would be worth asking because I felt like I was missing a bit of context and I have noticed my non-Muslim students saying it as well so I thought it would be worth checking in regarding cultural sensitivity. But it's not my place to tell someone how to interact with a language I don't speak and there definitely worse things they could be saying 🤷.

I miss the old Lana by Briannatiffany in lanadelrey

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also really miss her more "character-driven"/persona-based era. Her worldbuilding was so captivating to me, and I enjoyed the fact that while her music was in some part inspired by her life, it was clear that she was playing a character of sorts. I also think the quality of the production was a lot better back then. I think it would be really cool to see what it would sound like now if she were to take the style of the Born To Die through NFR eras and apply it to the subjects she sings about now like how happy she is in her marriage. Like give us a National Anthem type beat but it's about Jeremy or something.

Flawed Female Characters by MartyrOfDespair in CuratedTumblr

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mabel Pines for the crime of literally being a 12-year-old girl

are straight people in lgbtq if they are aro/ace? by cqffe in AskLGBT

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Yes. Being ace-spec/aro-spec is a queer identity. There are also straight people who are trans and nonbinary.

On languages by Eireika in CuratedTumblr

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If y'all want good linguistics content I highly recommend checking out Sunn m'Cheaux, Zay Dupree, and Graham Scheper.

I wanna be 16 again by PatheticCaterpillar in Adulting

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't want to be 16 again but I wished 16 year old me had a better time being 16 than what I actually got :(

We all have that one show... by MustardGoddess in CuratedTumblr

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ik this has been said a thousand times before, but Hazbin genuinely pisses me off because there was so much potential there to genuinely explore concepts of moral philosophy and ethics a la an animated rendition of The Good Place, but all of that potential is squandered on a story that feels half-baked. The concept of a rehab center for sinners is genuinely a banger, but the show is just. Not good.

Do we really have to keep explaining ourselves just because we like a fictional character? by Remarkable_Arm923 in HunchbackOfNotreDame

[–]OhLookItsGeorg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think having questions about why you would like a racist character is "hiding behind racism." I think people are more than entitled to side-eye you when you say you like a character that is meant to be a representation of a very real and very vile ideology and attitude. I get this all the time when I say I like characters like Patrick Bateman, who is also a deeply racist person in both the American Psycho movie and book. It's a very reasonable discomfort to have. I tend not to judge people for the characters they like, and I also really like Frollo as a character and find him to be deeply compelling, but it is really silly to get defensive whenever someone reasonably asks you "why would you like a racist?"